To The Women That Hold Men's Hearts

To The Women That Hold Men's Hearts

The way we hold men's hearts can affect the way they love down the road.


Once you get to know someone you learn about their habits, insecurities, and thought process. You learn the way a person eats, walks, and talks. I believe there comes a time in a relationship when you start to understand and see past their exterior characteristics. You peel them back, layer after layer, showing the raw truth and scars. I'm not talking about the physical scars on a person's body, but the invisible scars that you can see when you look into their eyes and see the hurt and pain that devours them up when something reminds them of someone that hurt them.

We go through life giving our hearts to people, believing in honesty, loyalty, and trust. But slowly others prove us wrong and it makes us who we are.

The other day I saw that in my partner's eyes. I saw the hurt, the fear, and the terror. I had to ask of course, as to why there was so much fear and I was met with the familiar words that have spilled out of my lips before, "I trust you, but I trusted them, and they hurt me". After those words left his mouth, I felt this strange feeling of comfort. I knew exactly how it felt and what he meant. We sat there and we talked for hours about the subject, him explaining to me what she had done to him and how it has affected him. He explained that before her, he never thought people would go behind your back and cheat or lie. He trusted people with his fullest heart and never for one second believed in infidelity or dishonesty from a person you care for.

I look at him sometimes and wonder how anyone could look at him and not feel butterflies or not think of forever when they hear his laugh. I'm not sure how someone wouldn't want to see his smile any chance they had or hold on to his hand and never let it go.

I look at him and I see all the little things, the way his eyebrow twitches when he laughs and doesn't want to admit something, his determination when he's out on the boat, and his knowledge when it comes to creating his business. I know no one is perfect, because I am not innocent in this department now that I look back on it. But to whoever broke his heart, I can see how it has affected him and the shards his heart was broken into.

I think the hardest thing about loving someone, is seeing how someone hurt them. If you're in a relationship you probably know what I mean. If you aren't in one, try and reflect on yourself and think about how your past relationships have made you trust less, fear certain things, and affected the way you look at love.

Men's hearts are portrayed as solid, strong, and indestructible. I'm here to tell you that that is just a persona that men put on so that they protect their hearts from the knives that could possibly penetrate them. In my opinion, they are like onions. They have layers, have a thick exterior, and they are sometimes a little stinky. Women see this persona and think men can't be hurt as we can, but we are wrong. They are just like us and with that in mind we need to start being more careful.

Next time someone gives you their heart, take this experience and learn from it. Don't take someone's feelings for granted, don't get up and leave with no notice, and don't hold someone's heart with carelessness. If you are unsure of someone, let them go. Don't hold their heart while you are trying to figure out whether to throw it away or to keep it. If you must rethink someone, they aren't the one for you. Just because you can't see the worth of someone's heart, doesn't mean someone else can't. Don't waste someone's time because one person's trash, is another's treasure.

Popular Right Now

7 Signals A Girl Will Try To Send You If She Likes You As More Than A Friend

Girls do subliminal things to show you her interest in you. Pay attention to these low key signs that she is shooting her shot.


It is never easy when a girl has to fully admit her feelings to a guy she likes, so instead, she sends slight signals in hopes that he picks up on her hints.

1. She can't stop smiling at you

She is happy to talk to you and to be in your presence, the smallest things that you do make her want to smile. She can't control the happiness inside and it comes out in a great big smile. In her head, she is just thinking about how much she enjoys spending time with you and how much she likes you.

2. She hugs you with both arms

Side hugs are common, easy, and very universal. She wants to give you full body hug because to show you she feels different about you than any other guy. With a full body hug she can rest her face on your chest and this just brings the two of you closer.

3. She makes direct eye contact

Direct eye contact is always a great sign. This means she is fully aware of everything you are saying and she is completely interested.

4. She scans your face and lips

Upon talking to you, she begins to scan your face. In this moment she is appreciating your attractiveness and completely zoned out. Forget you said anything to her because she probably was not listening. If she is looking at your lips then she definitely wants a kiss.

5. She says "Oh my god, stahhhp"

The 'I'm mad at you, but I'm flirting with you' slogan. She is trying to be cute and pick a fight with you so you can two can play around. She's hoping this will lead to cracking jokes

6. She adjusts her clothing

She is fidgety when your around because she has feelings for you and is nervous. She wants to look her best with you around, so she is subconsciously fixing herself so that nothing looks bad.

7. She sends you cute snap chats

Silly, crazy, and just straight up ugly snap chats are for friends. If her selfies are , done each time, then she cares a lot about how you see her and she wants you to see her at her best. She is not always looking for a compliment, but throw one her way and you will make her day.

Pay attention to the signs a girl is sending. Her body language and behavior around all come together for an important message, she likes you! A lot.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Ladies, Stop Trying To Teach Boys How To Be Your Man If They're Not Even Men In The First Place

It is your job to love him. But it is not your job to teach him how to love you back.


I see. this way too often, honestly it upsets me and breaks my heart. It breaks my heart when I see a girl begging her boyfriend to put her on her Snapchat story. It breaks my heart when I see a girl begging her boyfriend to get off a video game and spend time with her. It breaks my heart when I see a girl doodling on a napkin at the dinner table and her boyfriend is on his phone and hasn't even looked up at her once. These things break my heart because this girl, whoever she may be, maybe it is you? She deserves a man. What she has though, is a boy. And before you say anything, yes, there is a huge difference.

I was that girl once. I begged and begged my ex-boyfriend all the time to put me on his Snapchat story. You may be reading this and be thinking "Wow she's a little attention seeking." No, that is not it at all. A simple act of being posted about made me feel special, loved, missed at times, and served as reassurance and a word of affirmation for me. Do you want to know something silly? Maybe you've done it too. Sometimes I would do something crazy to get his attention. Something funny, and silly and random just so he would post me on his story and I wouldn't have to ask.

At the dinner table, I was that girl that while he was on his phone I was sliding him notes on a napkin saying "I love you" or "Hi" or funny jokes to get his full and undivided attention.

At home, I was the girl that used to literally throw myself at him while he was playing video games to try and get him to press pause for two minutes and pay attention to me and have a conversation with me.

You see, I was that girl. But I refuse to ever be that girl again. If you are that girl, stop what you're doing.

It is your job to love him. But it is not your job to teach him how to love you back.

There is a big difference between a boy and a man. Contrary to what society may believe most boys don't actually turn into men until they are almost 40. Scary for us girls right? But here's the kicker and to be honest it has nothing to do with age.

Any boy that is in the process of becoming a man and maturing is going to know how to treat a woman. He is not going to choose video games or his phone over you. He is going to post you everywhere all the time because he wants to show you off to the world and make you feel special. He isn't going to ever leave you wondering.

The list could really go on comparing and contrasting the differences between a boy and a man but the important ones to remember when you are in a relationship are:

1. A boy thinks "me." A man thinks "us"

2. A boy gives false promises. A man honors his commitments (one being you.)

3. A boy cares about how you look in jeans. A man cares about how you look in his future.

4. You will always wonder how a boy feels about you. You will always know how a man feels about you.

All too often I see girls in the act of this. It is almost like they are training a dog or raising a child. They order them around and become demanding when it comes to doing things that make them feel special, validated and reassured. Granted, they are doing this because their relationship is lacking something but the truth is, it shouldn't be lacking something in the first place.

You are dating a boy not a man. I hate to break that to you. I really do. It's the hardest news you'll ever receive. Why? Well because

You can't fix him, you can't teach him, and you can't change a boy into a man. They have to do it on their own

Related Content

Facebook Comments