Once you get to know someone you learn about their habits, insecurities, and thought process. You learn the way a person eats, walks, and talks. I believe there comes a time in a relationship when you start to understand and see past their exterior characteristics. You peel them back, layer after layer, showing the raw truth and scars. I'm not talking about the physical scars on a person's body, but the invisible scars that you can see when you look into their eyes and see the hurt and pain that devours them up when something reminds them of someone that hurt them.
We go through life giving our hearts to people, believing in honesty, loyalty, and trust. But slowly others prove us wrong and it makes us who we are.
The other day I saw that in my partner's eyes. I saw the hurt, the fear, and the terror. I had to ask of course, as to why there was so much fear and I was met with the familiar words that have spilled out of my lips before, "I trust you, but I trusted them, and they hurt me". After those words left his mouth, I felt this strange feeling of comfort. I knew exactly how it felt and what he meant. We sat there and we talked for hours about the subject, him explaining to me what she had done to him and how it has affected him. He explained that before her, he never thought people would go behind your back and cheat or lie. He trusted people with his fullest heart and never for one second believed in infidelity or dishonesty from a person you care for.
I look at him sometimes and wonder how anyone could look at him and not feel butterflies or not think of forever when they hear his laugh. I'm not sure how someone wouldn't want to see his smile any chance they had or hold on to his hand and never let it go.
I look at him and I see all the little things, the way his eyebrow twitches when he laughs and doesn't want to admit something, his determination when he's out on the boat, and his knowledge when it comes to creating his business. I know no one is perfect, because I am not innocent in this department now that I look back on it. But to whoever broke his heart, I can see how it has affected him and the shards his heart was broken into.
I think the hardest thing about loving someone, is seeing how someone hurt them. If you're in a relationship you probably know what I mean. If you aren't in one, try and reflect on yourself and think about how your past relationships have made you trust less, fear certain things, and affected the way you look at love.
Men's hearts are portrayed as solid, strong, and indestructible. I'm here to tell you that that is just a persona that men put on so that they protect their hearts from the knives that could possibly penetrate them. In my opinion, they are like onions. They have layers, have a thick exterior, and they are sometimes a little stinky. Women see this persona and think men can't be hurt as we can, but we are wrong. They are just like us and with that in mind we need to start being more careful.
Next time someone gives you their heart, take this experience and learn from it. Don't take someone's feelings for granted, don't get up and leave with no notice, and don't hold someone's heart with carelessness. If you are unsure of someone, let them go. Don't hold their heart while you are trying to figure out whether to throw it away or to keep it. If you must rethink someone, they aren't the one for you. Just because you can't see the worth of someone's heart, doesn't mean someone else can't. Don't waste someone's time because one person's trash, is another's treasure.