"Heathers: The Musical" Songs Ranked From Best To Worst
Start writing a post

"Heathers: The Musical" Songs Ranked From Best To Worst

Yes, including the song from Tik-Tok.

"Heathers: The Musical" promotional image, featuring the Heathers with their traditional colors and backs turned
@heathersmusical on Instagram.com

We all know how much of a cultural impact the 1989 movie "Heathers" made, but what about "Heathers: The Musical"? Murder, sex, and teen depression: no wonder why "Riverdale" chose this production for their musical episode. Below is a list of my personal ranking of the songs because a dark comedy and singing is a perfect mix.

Warning: This article contains spoilers for "Heathers" and "Heathers: The Musical."

1. "Dead Girl Walking"

If you are going to be socially murdered, what would be the last thing you want to? Make dirty with the new loner bad boy, of course. Plus, Barrett Wilbert Weed's vocals in this are insane. She must do some serious warm-ups.

2. "Candy Store"

The three most popular girls in your high school are trying to make you one of them. "Shut up, Heather!" Heather Chandler always has to have the spotlight, even when she's committed suicide. Or really murdered.

3. "Big Fun"

If you came here just because of Tik-Tok, this is the song where the popular audio is located. A song about underage drinking, drugs, sex, basically underage everything.

4. "Beautiful"

A correct representation of high school.

5. "Seventeen (Reprise)"

I love the both the original and reprise version, but this one just hits different. Mostly because all of the harmonies. There's nothing more terrifying than becoming an adult and not getting to be a child anymore.

6. "Fight for Me"

We've all had that crush that we've fantasized about starting a life with and eventually marrying when we don't even know their name. I see you, Veronica Sawyer.

7. "Freeze Your Brain"

Instead of doing cocaine, have a slushie instead! This song explains why J.D. is the way he is which is immensely messed up.

8. "Seventeen"

Again, such an emotional song. This version is ranked lower because while still beautiful,

9. "Lifeboat"

Extremely moving for anyone who has felt like taking their own life. While H. Chandler did not actually commit suicide, H. McNamara attempted to and you can hear the desperation in her voice for the pain to all go away. Goosebumps.

10. "The Me Inside Of Me"

A forged suicide note due to Veronica's special penmanship abilities. Representing mostly every school and their policy on mental health, the principal debates on canceling school after the tragic loss of one student, the most popular one at that.

11. "I Am Damaged"

Honest ~chills~ whenever I hear this song. J.D. knows he's fudged things up, especially with Veronica so his solution is to blow himself up with the bomb he placed (to kill the whole student body) to save her. True love?

12. "Our Love Is God"

Did I mention how messed up this musical is?

13. "Dead Girl Walking: Reprise"

Veronica Saywer on her way to save the day! And surprise, she actually didn't commit suicide like so many in this production have attempted. Heathers, Martha, y'all don't have a guidance counselor?

14. "My Dead Gay Son"

When your dead gay son attends his own funeral . . . But seriously, homophobia is not cool, folks. "Two bros sitting in a hot tub, five feet apart 'cause they're not gay."

15. "Shine a Light"

Shine a light, everything will be OK.

16. "Blue"

Literally a song about blue balls.

"Heathers: The Musical" will be touring the UK in 2020. Book your tickets over to Europe now. Until then, keep listening to the vulgarity of the musical and jamming out.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Nothing! There is no reason to feel guilty about food and nourishing your body. It's time to make peace with food and stop focusing on the "good" or "bad," "right" or "wrong" because food does not have power over you.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Sat Down With An Endocrinologist To Ask All My Questions About Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

There are so many moving parts of hormonal health, so I went to an expert.

Anjanette Tan

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) is an autoimmune disease that impacts approximately 1 in 10 women. Any woman who has PCOS can attest to the fact that no two cases are the same — there are so many aspects of hormonal health that can impact a woman's reproductive health! For many, PCOS is a trial and error condition, with many doctors' appointments depending on the stage of life the woman is in.

This week I sat down with Dr. Anjanette Tan to get the expert opinion on all my PCOS questions. Dr. Tan is a board-certified endocrinology who's worked in private practices since 2004. She currently works at the Diabetes and Thyroid Center of Fort Worth, one of the largest all-endocrine practices in the area, where she is the managing partner and head of clinical research.

Keep Reading... Show less

- Since I can remember, I've always been a light sleeper, with the quietest sounds waking me up, and I regularly wake up with the sun.

- While talking to a gynecologist friend of mine, she mentioned the importance of using an eye mask for quality sleep, which regulates hormonal levels.

- I was serendipitously sent the Crane & Canopy Silk Sleep Mask almost right after that conversation and was honestly reluctant to try it after testing other sleep masks that felt uncomfortable and irritated my skin.

- This sleep mask was extremely comfortable, and for the first time in nearly a decade, I slept in far past when I usually do on the weekends and woke up feeling more refreshed than I can remember — I've worn it nearly every night since then.

The older I get, it seems that sleep becomes an increasingly important topic of conversation amongst my friends and me. Yes, of course we complain about how tired we always are, but the pattern seemed to be a lack of sleep on the weekdays followed by late nights and sleeping in on the weekends without any solution.

Keep Reading... Show less

As college students, sometimes life can be overwhelming. Four tests in a week and you only passed one of them? I feel that. Days like that, you just need time for yourself. A time where you're nice to yourself and put your own self-care before anything else.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

The Smile Project Just Launched An Ambassador Program, And I Can't Wait To Get Started

Looking to shift your perspective, be happier, or just get involved in something truly amazing? Look no further.


The Smile Project is a nonprofit organization devoted to spreading happiness, founded by Elizabeth Buechele. It all started on a random day in the fall of her senior year. She was driving home from school when this thought crossed her mind: "Day 1: Happiness is…those perfect car rides where the radio just plays all the right songs."

Keep Reading... Show less

I'll never forget the day that someone told me these words: "Madison, I think you're a good friend to everyone but yourself." I stood there completely in awe of that statement. Before that day, I never really thought about being a friend to myself, and at the time, I didn't really know what it meant. Now, I realize that you can't fully be there for other people unless you're there for yourself, too. You can't show up for others until you're willing to show up for yourself.

Here are five things everyone should learn in order to be a better friend to themselves. These steps are hard, but they're so worth it.

Keep Reading... Show less

It's no secret that social media can be harmful to our mental health. The barrage of heavily edited photos of Instagram models that we see every day only fuels our insecurities. There is a good side to social media, though. It allows us to keep up with friends and family across the globe. Plus, it provides a platform for mental health experts. Listed below are five therapists on Instagram who will fill your feed with motivational quotes and positive infographics.

Keep Reading... Show less

Last week, Netflix released its original film "The Devil All the Time," based on the 2011 novel of the same name. Directed by Antonio Campos, the film boasts an all-star cast including Bill Skarsgard, Robert Pattinson, Riley Keough, and Tom Holland.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

In Honor of PCOS Awareness Month, I Researched 25 Things About The Autoimmune Disease

Ongoing research is further promoting the fact that engaging in a proper diet and exercise regimen can alleviate many symptoms!


Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is a common endocrine disorder that affects young women, especially those of reproductive age. Women with PCOS often exhibit symptoms ranging from increased levels of the male hormone androgen along with cysts in their ovaries. However, ongoing research is further promoting the fact that engaging in a proper diet and exercise regimen can alleviate many symptoms! Here are 25 things I found out about PCOS.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

To The Boy Who Said I Was 'Unlovable' Because Of My Back Rolls, My Body Is NOT A Problem

I realized I need to stop blaming myself for staying single. The problem wasn't me. It was you.

Photo by Artem Kovalev on Unsplash

I told you I was going to be okay if you said what was on your mind, but honestly, nothing could've prepared me for the words that came out of your mouth. After getting off of the phone with you, I burst into tears. Those words shattered my heart and continuously repeated in my head.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments