When I was in Elementary School I was deathly afraid of Halloween. I would cry when I would walk into a store with Halloween decorations. I was absolutely terrified of being terrified. From the scary clown masks to the butcher knives, Halloween seemed like it simply existed to make me miserable. While this is not abnormal for children, I know exactly what triggered this anxiety when I was at such a crucial stage. My next door neighbor is 8 years older than me. He would often babysit me or come over to see my family because we were close. But, he had something weird about Halloween. He and his mom would ALWAYS decorate their house in the scariest way they possibly could. The entire month of October was terrifying because I couldn't even walk my dog past his house without wanting to scream bloody murder. Then one halloween, he jumped behind me with a butcher knife and a hockey mask on. I peed my princess dress and cried for hours. He ruined halloween for me. That wasn't okay.
So, here's the deal. Halloween is actually a super cool holiday. I love getting dressed up and enjoying all the festivities of the day, but it took me years to get to this excitement. Truly, I didn't even want to start trick-or-treating again until Middle School. I am definitely not here to tell you how to celebrate, but I do want to bring a few things to your attention that you may not have previously thought about.
Firstly, Halloween truly is a holiday for everyone. The kiddos can pig out on candy and brave the crisp October breeze for trick-or-treating, adults can enjoy the aesthetic of fall with cider and hayrides, and everyone can enjoy costume parties. There is no wrong or right way to celebrate Halloween, but the second you infringe on someone else's ability to have fun it becomes an issue. Please remember that ruining someone else's experience is just so totally not cool.
A huge issue around this time of year is the treatment of people with disabilities. While it is very easy to judge someone who continues to trick-or-treat long after the acceptable age, please keep in mind that the witch at your door could quite possibly have Autism or another disability. Please do not steal their joy by judging them or humiliating them. As a Special Educator I hear about Halloween and my student's plans for Halloween for weeks on end. I can tell you what every single one of my students is planning on doing and how much candy they expect to get. It is an exciting time, but it is so hard to hear stories every November 1st about how people with disabilities were treated on Halloween because of their perceived identities. Humiliating someone to save a few cents and not give them a candy bar is never worth it.
Remember that scary costumes can traumatize children. If you want to be Freddy Krueger or one of those impossible clowns for Halloween by all means do it. But, please keep in mind that these costumes can cause some very deep seeded anxiety in young children. If you are going to wear a particularly creepy costume I implore you to avoid kids parties and manning your door for trick-or-treaters. Children deserve to feel safe on Halloween and scaring them with masks is very avoidable.
We all love to make fun of the girls that put on bunny ears and a revealing outfit but at the end of the day this isn't cool either. Women are allowed to celebrate however they see fit. Sometimes all you feel comfortable wearing is a pair of bunny ears. This shouldn't make women feel like they cannot participate in Halloween events simply because of the "slut shaming" they may experience.
Finally, please just be considerate on Halloween. Please do not cause undue stress to anyone and remember that everyone is just trying to have a good time. Look out for those around you and share the Halloween spirit. The mothers, children, teachers, etc. of the world will thank you.
