"It's Better to Give than to Receive".
I agree to this statement to some extent but i want us to think that it is more about the context. In some situations and few circumstances, it is better to give than to receive. Few things needs to be changed. We have an Emotional bank account and what we are doing with it? We just withdraw from the account without depositing anything to it.
We are treating it as if it is better to give out than to add more in, while thinking that the feelings and emotions from our account will never go to Zero. We all know this is not a reality, this isn't the truth. If we will just keep giving from our account and will not add anything to it, one day it will be empty. Emotionally, Spiritually, Physically and mentally, we will be drained and the day it will happen, the day we will be done giving, we will be left with nothing in our hearts. The relations, which will be broken that day they might, will never be the same again.
We need to change a word maybe, or the sentence needs to be changed. "It's Better to Give and to Receive". Many behaviors and things can be changed just by adding or leaving few words.
It's good to give Love and to get love. It's good to give time and to receive time.
A relation in which you are the only one who is investing time and giving love, that relation will not stay for a long term. If we want our relations to stay for long term and not for a short period, than it is very important to realize that this bank account needs to receive something too!
Many of us are trying to recover because we have been the Over-Givers in the past and when we were at the verge of breaking and the relations were about to end; we realized that there is something wrong and something needs to be changed but we don't know where to start from. Therefore, here is the thing:
Identify people, patterns, behaviors with whom you become an "Over-Giver ". Where you just give and give and give and you go out of your way to give them something or everything, but you have seen and learned in the past that when you do it like this you hurt yourself, you give love to the others but in this process you are the only one who is going to suffer. It is good to give and to love but it is not good that you have to suffer every single time. When you will identify this and the next time you will be in the same situation or with such people, just take a Power Pause, take a break and breathe. Take a moment to think, to respond and not to react, without letting yourself to go in an autopilot mode because we are so used to it of giving and giving that it is difficult to stop ourselves.
Stop and Think that how you have to stop yourself from going back into that state of Over-Giving habit. You need to do some little changes, maybe a simple NO, maybe not giving any advice when it isn't required. Maybe refusing something where you know that you might be the only one draining yourself. If you want to keep relations for long term then we need to realize that it is very kind to love and care for people, but it is also important to love our-self.
To love the people around you, Self-Love is also important. Look for the solutions where you do not have to sacrifice every time. Where people will also put their energies for you, sacrifice for you, which is totally fine.
Therefore, it is better that we change the narrative: "It's better to Give AND to Receive"
It's good to have a relationship where you give and where you receive the same amount of love, time, attention and efforts.