For the last few months, I've being seeing and hearing more and more girls talking about how upset boys get with them when they turn down a date. For some reason, boys tend to believe that if they are extra nice to a girl, or they really really like her, that she somehow owes him a date.
Boys will buy you things you didn't ask them for or even asked them not to buy, and then get mad when that gift doesn't buy them a date. If you are that boy that insists on telling every single girl how "nice" you are or how every girl you talk to is "rude" to you or "doesn't appreciate" how great of a guy you are, this article is for you.
It is so frustrating to constantly be made to feel like you're a bad person when you turn down a guy. I know that I'm not rude. I, as a rational person, know that it is completely irrational to believe that every single person I'm ever attracted to and nice to is going to want to date me.
The more interactions I have with men on a dating level, the more I start to believe that a lot of men don't have this same ability to think rationally. I'm not saying that there aren't women who behave similarly in feeling entitled to something from their dating partners, but men outnumber women 10 to 1 in my experience.
You can be as smart, or funny, or kind as you want, but if I'm not attracted to you or don't feel a connection to you, it's never going to work and I'm not going to waste my time or yours. I refuse to settle. I refuse to negotiate my own happiness. I refuse to be with a person that doesn't give me that "this is the one" feeling. And I don't understand why women are often expected to just because it sometimes means turning down a really nice guy.
It's not that I want to be rude or have any intention to hurt a guy's feelings; I don't. Whenever one of these situations arises, I try to the best of my ability to be as kind as possible while also being honest. But it doesn't matter how nice or rational I try to be, I am always met with violent anger, and that just isn't fair. I have heard of and witnesses men reject women for the very same reasons, and more often than not, the women accept it and move on.
So continue to be kind to the people you want to date, but also be kind to the people you don't want to date. Honestly, just be kind in general, and don't do it with the expectation of getting anything in return. Be generous, tell jokes, and compliment people just because it makes you happy to be a decent person.
Stop expecting a date from every single girl you compliment, because sometimes the spark just isn't there. Stop telling everyone you meet that you're a "nice" guy, and actually try to be one. You might find that you, and everyone around you, ends up happier in the end.
