Distance Really Does Make The Heart Grow Fonder

Call It A Cliche, But Distance Really Does Make The Heart Grow Fonder

Love is great and all, but when you're miles away it kind of sucks.

Jgorman
Jgorman
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Let me be honest when I say that I did not expect to feel the way as much as I do... you're probably wondering why. I am in an amazing new place and meeting new people on the daily and lastly adventuring more than I ever have in my life. Yet for some reason, my brain always leaves me room to miss him.

Though this is a struggle that I am currently facing it has taught me that distance definitely makes the heart grown even more than I thought it could. It makes me think of all the small things that I often take for granted when I am home. Whether that means just being a 10-minute drive away from his house, or being able to spend weekends together, being so far really makes me miss the simple things.

At the same time, it makes me even more grateful that I have someone that I care so much for that even when I am miles and miles away I wish that I was with. Since I am in such an amazing place, it also makes me wish that he could visit me and that we would be able to share this experience, I don't only want it all for me as I would much rather share it with someone that I love.

Missing someone is definitely a hard part of traveling and exploring but at the same time it makes leaving a little easier because you know that you have someone waiting for you back at home. Someone that is waiting to hear all your stories and ask you all about your adventures once you finally get home for your travels. I love the experience that I am getting and know that leaving here will be very, very, hard yet at the same time the little things back home and that special someone makes it all a little bit easier.

My heart is growing every day and it understands the challenges of distance and a different time zone every day. Though nothing can get in the way of him and me...not even a different time zone.

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When I Experience These 15 Things, I'll Know I've Found 'The One'

It's all based on trial and error.

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It's easy for me to think that because I'm hitting my twenties, I'm behind romantically. Especially when people around me are entering serious relationships, getting engaged, or even married. I've tried putting in some initiative and had some failed dating attempts and I've tried to just let the chips fall where they may and wound up pretty lonely. Any mistake I've made has brought me closer to figuring out what I need. And I've figured out that loneliness isn't that bad if I let myself be good company. And through all of it, I'm discovering that I'll know when it's my time.

Love doesn't have an expiration date. I'm not behind, and people already madly in love aren't ahead. We're all on different paths with different destinations. Comparing my life to others' only makes me miserable. There isn't any one aspect of my life I should rush.

As with all things, finding "the one" will just be a thing that happens when it's supposed to and I'll be able to feel it. I've always paid a lot of attention to how people around me make me feel, and there are really rare occasions where the vibe is immediately electrifying.

1. My head and my heart will finally be in agreement about something

I always find myself getting in my head, or my heart takes full control of a situation and my head. They hardly ever work together to establish a happy medium where love and logic work together to make sure I'm happy. When I've found the person who is sensible and who my heart beats out of my chest for, I'll know he's the one person for me.

2. I won't have to hold myself back

I know I can be a lot sometimes. My friends and family are all too aware of how extra I can get. They bring it out of me because they love it. But around some people, I get nervous and can't be myself. I think I'll know right away who I can be my whole entire self around. They won't want me to be any other way.

3. I'll want to be my best self

Because he'll deserve the best of me. I won't change anything about myself that I wouldn't on my own, but I'll grow with the person I'm meant to be with. It's always bothered me when people think they have to completely change themselves or the person they're with so they can be happy, but I understand that growth is a part of life. Nothing stays the same, and it shouldn't.

4. I won't be afraid to cry

This one is huge for me. I can be such an emotional person, but I find myself holding back my tears if I have the slightest inkling I'll be judged. I've only cried in front of a few family members and even fewer friends. This is the ultimate way I can tell if I'm completely comfortable with someone. I want to be with someone who isn't afraid of feelings. There's a beauty to vulnerability and I want to have that.

5. He'll match my excitement level

The most gut-wrenching, soul-crushing thing I've experienced is having people I really care about making me feel pathetic for caring about something. I want someone to love the way my eyes light up when I hear a song I really like, or when I gush about my day. I get excited really easily about the smallest stuff, and maybe that is pathetic. But the right person will understand that I show my love by expressing my passions, even the smallest ones.

6. I'll tell him EVERYTHING

This ties into the last one. With how easily entertained I get, it's easy for me to ramble about things that don't really matter in the grand scheme of things, but that are important to me. The guy who's right for me won't mind carrying a conversation on for forever. I don't want to ever feel like either one of us is being ridiculous just because we really care about something.

7. My wildest dreams will seem attainable

This may be naive of me to think, but I want to be with someone who makes me feel like nothing is impossible. I guess that just means I want to be encouraged, which I would hope isn't a crazy idea. And I hope I give someone else that sense too. We should be a family that reaches for the stars. I was raised with the belief that I'm capable of anything as long as I think I am, and I want that mindset to carry me through the rest of my life.

8. I won't ever be embarrassed

We all deserve to have someone in our lives that we completely trust. I want to be able to relax and know that I have one person who loves me enough to accept every part of who I am. I don't want to take life too seriously with the person I'll be spending all of it with. I want to be able to make an ass of myself, or sing horribly in the car with full confidence, or burn an entire dinner shamelessly and fearlessly.

9. I'll want to spend all my time with him, but we'll both know that can't happen

The healthiest relationships are built on trust. I think part of that is understanding that you can be individuals and trust that when you're not together the bond is still there. There's nothing wrong with having full lives outside of one another; friendships, careers, and separate interests. I never want to forget who I was before I was with someone else because I'm a big fan of her.

10. I'll never be bored

I don't do well with not having something to fill my time. It's really easy to keep me entertained, so this isn't asking much of someone. And yet I've been out with guys who have left me wondering if I still had a pulse by the end of the night. I just want to be able to laugh nonstop or have a deep conversation that gets my wheels turning. When given the chance, I can talk for hours about the wildest things — aliens, the afterlife, songs I'm listening to, you name it. I've managed to stay amused without having someone around all the time, so I'm definitely not about to have less fun when there's someone else in the picture.

11. I'll never have to lie because the truth will always be okay

I hate lying, and that's a really good thing because I'm so bad at it. I don't want to ever feel like I can't be honest with the person I love, no matter how little the issue is. I want to feel confident that we can just laugh it off or communicate well enough for everything to work out. I feel really anxious about the future when I see people in relationships getting by on little fibs because I never want to take life so seriously that I think the truth will do that much damage.

12. Everything will be better

I think this thought has sprung from the idealistic side of my brain that is covered in glitter and wild daisies, but I'm gonna go with it. All our lives we're taught that love is the most powerful force in the world and that it conquers all. So for me, that always meant that when I'm in love, everything will be better than it's ever been. My favorite songs will sound better, my favorite foods taste better, and my favorite flowers smell better. I think I connect all those senses with the butterflies in the stomach or fireworks that people are always talking about. That's the feeling I've been waiting for and I really hope I don't have to settle.

13. I'll laugh my ridiculous laugh and he'll love it

Ya know how Jimmy Fallon laughs at basically everything? Well, same. That's probably why he's my favorite person on TV. I think my favorite thing in the entire world is laughter and I want my life to be so full of it. Laughter is like music in the way that it fills the world with color that you can hear. As an optimist, I choose to let things be funny instead of inconvenient or a mistake. Life, in general, can just be funny sometimes.

14. He won't be my other half

It's honestly gross to refer to someone's partner as their "other half" or "better half." As if they weren't a whole person before. Everyone builds a life for themselves before someone, and then there are add-ons to that if you choose to bring someone else into it. I want to be in a unit of two whole people who have formed one love and one family, but also as two people who completely know who they are outside of one another.

15. I won't be looking for him

I don't think you can track love down and pack it up to take it home. It has a way of getting to you when you need it, whether you know you do or not. Any searching I've done was not with the intention of finding "the one," but more to figure out what's best for me. I'm hoping that there's a higher power in charge of making sure each person finds who they're meant to be with forever when they're in the right place mentally and physically to take on such a serious commitment. I don't think age or time has anything to do with it, its all about personal growth and development.

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8 Things Only Your Long-Distance Best Friends Will Understand

We can always choose to be stronger than the miles in between us.

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A few days ago, I packed up my suitcase from my best friend's place in Florida after visiting for a long weekend. I always think it's going to be just a little easier leaving this time than the last, but it never is. We seem to have a better time than the last one. Our dates on the calendar come slowly, but our time together goes by way too fast. Soon I found myself holding my people close, then standing in the airport alone crying my eyes out because I already missed my best friends.

Because I have far away friends, I always have someone special to visit and a guaranteed good time. It's exciting to not only to make memories at home with them but also at their college and other places as well. People go to college, graduate school, pursue dreams, get jobs, tie the knot and eventually settle down. We can either lose our long-lasting friendships, or we can choose to fight a little harder to remain close. I choose the second; not because it's easy or convenient, but because it's worth it.

Life often takes people across the city, across the state or even across the world from us.

1. People underestimate the power of a phone call.

Miles in between you and connection problems can make talking face to face impossible, but your person is always just a phone call away. Even if you can't see their face and expressions, there is nothing quite like hearing their voice on the other end of the line. It's almost like you are right there with them when you come together to talk about what is going on in your lives. There is nothing that says two friends can't spend time together and hang out, even if it's not physically.

2. Out of sight doesn't have to mean out of mind

I am not close geographically to "my people" but they are still close to my heart. I will continue to invest in them if they are five minutes away or five-hundred miles. It makes no difference because we are more than the miles between us. My friends have boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, jobs and some even have kids. Your friend may have a boyfriend or girlfriend, parents, jobs, kids and tend to get distracted by everything around them. This is normal to let your everyday life consume your thoughts, but you can make room to let other things enter your mind too.

Have things around your place to remind you of them, set reminders to check on them and get into a habit of catching up with people while doing chores or going somewhere. There are a few people I try to text on the daily — sometimes it's me reminding them I'm thinking about them, something random I saw that made me smile or telling them good morning. Every phone call, text and attempt at putting in the effort will make you two just a little closer than you were before.

3. It's tough to not be there when you really need and want to

Time passes and the other person can begin to change. It can be difficult to find common ground after you've been away for a while and your lives are two separate worlds. It can be easy to lose touch without intentionality, hard work and commitment. Keep the lines of communication and honesty open. Show up and be fully present. You both deserve the friendship to be genuine and prioritized.

Far-away-friends give missing people a whole new meaning. It's hard when you can't be there for every birthday, graduation, break-up, celebration and bad day. But, even between the hundreds of miles, time zones and missed ice cream dates, they are still your person. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter because you would do anything for this person and to keep your friendship with them. Long distance is worth it to still call someone your best friend.


The best stuff is always difficult. It sometimes takes longer. But you're deserving of people and people are deserving of you. Don't hold back or isolate based on past fear or that one time it didn't go so well. Pick yourself up and make the next hard move towards people. Towards abundance. Towards a life outside the lines. You've got this. I believe so fiercely in you — Hannah Brencher

4. You don't have to talk every day to be close.

We don't have to talk every single day. Sometimes it's not possible with college, jobs, family, other friends and just life in general. It gets so busy, but the right ones make time for you whether it's on their commute, the weekend or at the end of a long day. When you do long distance with someone, you usually can know pretty quickly if they are one of the rare ones you may not come across in life again.

The smallest things often make the most impact — a text, quick phone call so they can hear your voice, hand-writing a letter (the way to my heart) or a video call while you both study. Tag each other in posts and send each other selfies or other pictures. I don't know about you, but it makes me happy to see a notification from one of "my people," knowing they were thinking of me miles away.

5. Staying is a choice.

Reality is what happens when we make ourselves come back to earth instead of running through space. I think we all want to run sometimes because we get too overwhelmed to stay. Just keep walking and you'll see this place is full of others just like us. Choosing to stay somewhere tough can be the hardest thing, but rewarding. There may be no hugs, regular hangouts or a hundred texts in between phone calls. But your person is still your person, even a thousand miles away.

6. You don't want to waste the time you have.

Your energy and time are valuable things. You get to decide where it goes. Try to focusing less on doing things and more on people you know will fill you and encourage others. We only get one chance at this life of love. It's all a choice we get to make. You can share the pain, but also some of the biggest joys with another person that you choose no matter the distance between you.

7. Nothing is the same as being face to face

You can hear the person's voice on the other line, see them on video chat, read each other's words over and over through letters and share thoughts in between through text. But nothing comes even close to sitting next to them, even in silence doing nothing. You can hear their voice. You can see their face. You can talk to them (and they can talk back to you) in real time; no delay. Every time I am face to face with my person, there is nothing like it and I just want to be present in every moment.

8. You have never missed anyone as much before

I never expected to be "that one" losing it in the airport. No one mentally prepares you for what it's going to feel like when you part ways and don't know when next time will be. I keep thinking of my favorite moments, wanting to live them over again. I keep thinking I see them in places they can't be. I keep hoping and thinking they will just walk up to me and start talking again. Then I know I'll be a little more okay and won't feel such a quiet, painful and empty spot in my heart. Each time I leave, I feel like I left something behind. I did, but also I took something with me that I didn't have before. It was all completely worth it, even if I'm still missing you.

The best things in life take work and long distance ones take extra work, but I'll never regret keeping up with those who are near and dear to my heart. Together we can face anything together, even if that means being vulnerable over video call instead of across the table.

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