To The Person Who Left An Abusive Relationship, You Will Find Your Freedom

To The Person Who Left An Abusive Relationship, You Will Find Your Freedom

Trust me, I know its hard and the truth is, it only gets better with time.

232
views

Every day I look in the mirror and all I see is a person who is lost, confused, hurt, and angry. I'm lost because he made me think I was someone that I was not, and I'm confused because now that he is gone from my life I do not know what to believe and I don't even know if I have a personality disorder that he claimed I had.

Better yet I don't know if I am a good person everyone says I am. I'm angry because I loved this guy more than I love myself and I trusted him with all my feelings and even my rough upbringing. Someway, somehow he led me to believe that everything about me he said is true.

Every day is an uphill battle for me. I have to wake up every day and be strong for myself. I have to keep reminding myself that he is never going to change and that I am better off without him. I have to tell myself that I am a beautiful person, even on days where it's hard to believe. Some days are better than other days. I admit there are times when I just want to give up.

Because of him, I am nonchalant in public settings because I am still afraid that if I express my emotions, I am crazy. Although I am a genuine person I can act cold and for that I am sorry. I am afraid that whatever emotion I express I would get belittled. I honestly do not know when things will get better to the point where I can express my emotions but I am slowly getting there.

I still remember the night that I had almost committed suicide because of words that were said about me a few days prior. He made me feel ugly both on the inside and out, and even though I had expressed to him how things that he says hurts me, it would always lead to him acting like he was the victim, when in reality I was the victim.

It had seemed like I was never pretty to him and I became alone to where I started having sex with another guy to fill the void (although that itself was not a good idea).

Every day I have to remind myself that I am the only person I have. This relationship taught me how cruel people can be even if it is not in a physical way. I thank the man above me every day for getting me out of that relationship because had I graduated and moved in with him, things could have been more worse. Thanks to people who were also in his life, I got to learn the harsh truths about him and how lucky I am.

People may ask why I stayed with him for as long as I did although I had seen so many red flags. What I will say is that when I met him I was in a bad place already. I just wanted someone who I can go to and who can take my mind off of the things that were going on in my own life. I wanted someone who wouldn't make me feel as if I had no friends and that I was unlikable. I guess when it came to finding an outlet through other people I always have bad luck.

Getting out of a toxic relationship is hard but at the end of the day, it is worth it. One thing that people need to know is that time heals all wounds but it is also the things you do that helps as well.

After my break-up, I started writing more and reaching out to friends. I also got the haircut that I always wanted but my ex said was "too masculine." I started to smile more and become a bit more confident knowing that I didn't need to impress anyone but myself. That is what freedom from abuse looks like.

Popular Right Now

It's Time To Start Dating And Stop 'Talking'

The younger generation is over dating and talking only and here's why it should stop.

500
views

Today's society is scared of dating. They have come to a custom of talking for months. They will do everything a couple will do, but they're just talking. They hate labels and they hate commitment. Couples will literally be talking for an entire year, but will never use the term dating.

Many couples will talk instead of talking due to commitment. This might come from a negative experience of a past relationship. Many people have been cheated on and this effects the way they look at dating. Some have been through abusive relationships which then leads to being afraid of relationships. They let one drastic situation take on their opinions on dating.

People do not want to settle down. Some people don't want to be with just one person. They would like to be with several and that's not OK. Asking for someone to be faithful should not be that hard. The constant voice in the back of your head wondering if someone is cheating because you've already been cheated on once is not OK either. Being cheated on and not being able to settle for one person are both issues as to why dating is no longer a thing.

Getting out of an abusive relationship is pretty tough whether it was emotional, sexual, or abusive. They're all pretty hard and it will be hard to settle down and trust someone else. This is another reason why people will talk for a while before they date. They often want to get to know the person more, but at what point are you going to know each other too well?

Dating is scary no doubt. I personally was scared of dating again after an awful relationship, but I am so glad I got back into it. I talked to my now partner for a little over a month before we made things official. I got to know him, but here we are months later and I am still getting to know him. So stop the months upon months of talking and start dating!

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

To The Boy I’ve Been Dating Since I Was 15, I Always Knew You Were My Forever

Thank you for showing me love when I thought I didn't deserve any.

503
views

Hey you,

People assumed our "fling" would only last a few short months. It's what everyone assumes when your first love happens during your sophomore year of high school. Yet here we stand, three and a half years later, more together than we've ever been. Although we've had our ups and downs, we still managed to keep our relationship going and to remember why we're together in the first place.

Many say loving isn't easy, but you make it a walk in the park.

You respect me in more ways than one, and you make me feel beautiful, inside and out. For a long time, I never noticed the beauty and strength I have within myself. I didn't see what others would point out to me, and at times I still find it hard to acknowledge my worth. However, you came into my life at a time when I felt I had no one, and you helped me to see all I have to offer. You helped me to open my mind to the thought of loving myself for who I am, and although the road is long and I'm not completely there, you've made me see how worthy of love I truly am.

Having you as my best friend, along with being my boyfriend, is the most rewarding feeling in the world.

I think the reason we rarely fight or stay angry with each other is that we truly are best friends. We could spend all of our time in deep conversation about any topic in the world and still feel engaged and ready to hear more from one another. Every single day I learn something new about you and vice versa. We can be ourselves in each other's presence and have fun doing absolutely nothing exciting. I am easily annoyed by a lot of things, but you are not one of them. Being with you for hours, even if we just watch TV the entire time, never gets repetitive or boring.

You treated me with the respect I deserved before I even realized I was worthy of it.

In many ways, I don't respect myself. Whether it be body image or letting "friends" walk all over me, I let many thoughts and people control my life. You, however, were the saving grace I needed. You've shown me how I deserve to be treated and how I should think of myself. Often I wonder how I got so lucky to end up with someone who loves me unconditionally and who values everything I have to offer. I say all the time that I don't deserve your heart, your kindness, your love, but you always remind me that I do. And I'm starting to realize that you're right; I deserve every bit of love, kindness, and respect that you have to offer. I can only hope that I award you with the same love and selflessness you give me every single day.

Three and a half years with someone may seem extremely long, but I feel as though we've been together a lifetime. It's hard to remember a time when you weren't right there beside me, and I would never want to imagine a future without you in it. There are so many more laughs, adventures, and memories to be made with you, and I only hope that I can be at least half of the person you are.

Thank you for pulling me out of the darkness. Today, tomorrow, and always.

Related Content

Facebook Comments