Congratulations! You've come out of the closet! Maybe it went great, maybe it didn't, either way congratulations on coming out and being proud of who you are! Now for the part that nobody talks about....
Forget the "gaydar," there is another type of radar you will learn to work. This radar is a little less fabulous and a little more about survival.
While pride of who are you is great and being gay is becoming more accepted across America, there are still some people that may take issue with the fact that YOU are gay. When you come out, this radar will help you judge whether the person you are talking to may have an issue with your being gay.
Flashback to high school; It was coming time for prom and I was having a chat with the janitor of my school. This man and I were friends, he was like my adviser and a father figure if you will. We talked about everything from taxes to university majors. Now, here comes the tricky part: He turned to me and asked,
"So, who will you be taking to prom? Who's the lucky boy, or are you just gonna go with friends?"
I could've easily corrected him and informed him that I would be taking my girlfriend to prom, but my radar went off. He naturally assumed that if I was not attending with a boy as my date, I would be attending with my friends, as if there were only two options in this situation. This question alone was not enough to prompt my silence, so I thought back to the conversation we had been having. Earlier in the conversation we had been talking about which University I should attend next year he informed me that it "would be in god's hands."
While there is nothing wrong with that statement, the comment about God's prevalence in my everyday life plus the comment about my two options, I held my tongue and informed him that I would be going with friends.
America is becoming more and more progressive. However, it is always best to air on the side of caution. Our media does not show this part of being gay. The part where you have to always be cautious. Nobody shows the decisions couples have to make when they do something as simple as holding hands in public. Is it safe to hold hands? Is it safe to show my affection? Is it safe to even correct someone about my partner? These are everyday actions that many do not think about.
This is truly about representation and honest conversations about what it is like to be gay in America. Just because we have the ability to marry, does not mean that everything is hunky dory. Not everything is fixed because of a Supreme Court Decision. Media tends to come out of big cities like Los Angeles and New York. Because of this, many do not realize the reality of those who live in places that are not big cities. Everyday life can drastically change just 30 minutes out of a big city. There is a belief that the only place that it is not safe to be gay is the south. While the south does have their issues, it is not just the south, it is America as a whole.
Let's start having honest conversations about the everyday truth about being gay in America.
