The beginning of this year had been a struggle for myself and I had recently discovered the ways to get myself and others out of it. For those who need advice on how to get out of a tricky relationship this is for you. Please be careful of who you give your heart to.
Step 1: Recognize your self worth
If you cannot recognize your worth as a person you will never get out of any type of crucial relationship. To recognize your worth you must look at all of the things you are bringing to the table. Meaning, all of the money, hours, and love spent. Who is it all spent on though is the real question. Is it the guy that treats you the same way or the guy that makes you feel depressed and anxious twenty four seven. If you recognize that you are worth much more then you are receiving it is a lot easier to leave a heart breaking relationship.
Step 2: Speak your mind
It is always important to say what you are thinking even if you don't have the guts to say them. You should know what you deserve and if you are not happy with what you are receiving you should stick up for yourself because if you don't no one else will. Lucky for my best friend who could not speak her mind, she had me and I am a very blunt person, I will tell you like it is. Therefore, I stood up to her boyfriend for her constantly, it was draining but she deserves better.
Step 3: Don't stay for material items
Although material items are great and they could make you feel loved. A Michael Kors watch doesn't do anything besides give you the time. You may think "oh god he bought me a MK watch he loves me so much i'm so happy" but in all reality real love is much greater than a watch. Even with wedding rings they are a symbol, the real gift is the actual feeling of love.
Step 4: Realize that arguing for someone to stay isn't healthy
If you have to beg for someone to stay or they are manipulating you to stay it is not healthy. You cannot make someone stay, if someone wants to leave I am almost positive they have a very valid point of doing so. Let someone who wants to leave go, the longer they stay because you asked them to the worse things will become.
Step 5: Leave when you are unhappy
I know this is a tricky thing to do but if you constantly find yourself crying at the bottom of your shower or wanting to sleep more, leave. It is complicated due to feelings but put your happiness first because if you don't you are lacking self love, and lacking self love for your partner is wrong. You are a human being that deserves happiness even though easier said than done, leave if you are depressed.
Step 6: Don't deal with bullsh*t
Don't deal with someone that goes to parties but asks you a hundred questions when you try to go to one. Don't deal with someone that makes you pay for everything, it should be equal at all times. Don't deal with someone who constantly puts you down or cheats on you. If you get cheated on someone clearly does not love you, do not subject yourself to that kind of punishment for you do not deserve to get cheated on.
Step 7: Surround yourself with people who are blunt and honest
If you don't have someone that is going to be blunt with you then you will not be able to see the things you cannot see. If you aren't seeing an issue they will tell you what they see. If you are in a bad situation they will tell you. Find yourself someone that is completely honest with you.
Step 8: Try to replace the numbness with self love
If you decide to leave this person and you are feeling lonely and sad on your own and keep going back to them because of it do the following.
1. Read books especially books about love and pain for example, "milk and honey" it will help you to understand that you are not alone.
2. Get a gym membership and better your body, this way you can always feel better about yourself and getting exercise releases endorphins in your brain.
3. Try to reconnect with old friends, this will help you feel better considering you are still a part of someones life.
4. Get a job if you do not already have one or pick up extra shifts to keep your mind distracted.
5.Go on walks to think or talk with someone.
6. Get focused on any school work because you know you can fall behind if you are constantly focused on the loss of someone for this is your future. Although you are allowed to mourn for a while remind yourself that there are ways to stop mourning.
Step 9: After you fall in love with yourself
After you are completely in love with yourself find someone who is equal to you and is adventurous. Find someone that doesn't have a high body count for that is an example that they cannot commit. Find someone that post you on their social media or tweets about you and shows you off. Find someone that makes you feel like you are whole and complete again instead of empty and incomplete.
