Let’s face it: you’re probably a college student and the full extent of your planning is seeing how much longer you can put off doing laundry. Chances are, you have no idea what you are going to do with your life. One thing is for sure--you don’t want to spend the summer sitting on your butt watching television and waiting for a friend to text you to “chill-lax” with them (but chances are they’re on their butts too so don’t get your hopes up). As usual, it’s up to me to tell you how to solve your problems, so here you go: five ways to avoid wasting your summer.
The first option is working at a camp. Do you love working with children? Building good relationships with people? The outdoors? If so, working at a camp probably isn’t for you because you will grow to hate everything I just mentioned and probably everything else too. But maybe you’re feeling adventurous and decide you want to give it a try! In that case, strap on your Chacos, grab your Camelbak, and plaster a fake smile on your face for the next three months and we’ll see you when you get back!
Maybe the camp thing just isn’t for you. You’d rather try and advance your career, and frolicking in the woods all summer isn’t going to cut it. Instead, you decide to become an intern! Now if you want to know what internships are like, imagine all the fun of pledging a frat/sorority and take away the t-shirts. You’ll run around the office all day and do the work nobody wants to do but the best part is, you probably won’t even be paid in stupid “money” but in something much more valuable: experience.
Just don’t get your hopes up about that internship because someone more driven than you probably already applied for it and got the position while you were listening to some stranger tell you to get an internship. Way to go. So now your "plan B" to get an introduction into the professional world is to get a job at a fast food chain or a retailer. If you think you’re too good for one of these jobs than this is the job for you. Working in fast food or retail is a great time for you to get over yourself, you spoiled child!
But not all of you will be able to work because you decided to take 12 hours this semester and failed nine of them so you have to take summer classes. Enjoy the one week you won’t be in class before you are sent back. Some of you take summer classes because you are an overachiever who can’t wait to graduate. If this is you, calm the crap down. Life gets worse after college, not better. Drag it out for as long as you can. Honestly, I don’t want to write any more about this subject because it would remind me too much of school. Basically—it sucks.
The final (that’s right, there are no other options exist outside of the five I have arbitrarily selected) option for you is to...wait…you graduated? Now you actually have to get a real job, move to your own apartment, pay bills, pay taxes, and deal with the alumni association calling you every gosh-darn day to give them money, even though the degree you ended up with can only get you a job as a babysitter.
Oh man...I frightened myself with that last paragraph…Forget what I said, don’t do any thing this summer. Just go home and stay there all summer watching Netflix and eating food your parents buy. Treasure these moments while you can because soon your ability to be a leech will be gone and you will have responsibilities. The only way to avoid this is hide in your pillow fort and pray the IRS never finds you.
