The concept of finding yourself and discovering who you are has circled around the track quite a few times, making a pit stop at "cliche" to taking a break at hesitation station. Though at the end of the race, everyone wants to come out on top. Everyone wants to finish the race with no hesitation or worries about who won. Do we still have laps to run? Everyone truly does want to figure out who they are whether that means what career path to follow or uncovering an identity based on interests. Am I an artist? Am I a gymnast? Am I a swimmer? This is the reason why we pick up hobbies, why we attend certain schools, and why we ultimately make the everyday decisions that we do. Discovering who one is the core to every choice we make in life. You may ask yourself, why am I faced with a big task such as this?
What happens when we stop having time for hobbies and pursuing the activities we love? What do we do when the impending question that holds so much responsibility and weight doesn't care about us needing time to figure it out?
The most important step to take first is to breathe.
This is about you. Even though it's important to understand that a lot of people are going through the same thing, at the end of the day, you're allowed to be selfish when it comes to this. As a unique individual, you have your own limitations and strengths. You may need time and that's okay. As long as you don't lose sight of how you want things to turn out in the end, it's okay. You may have all these unanswered questions and the only answers that will make you feel comforted are the ones you'll figure out once you get over this hill. So, take a breather and go from there.
Take a break from reality.
This isn't a long term solution but the need to figure everything out in your life should not be a one day or even a one month or year job. But being confused about every aspect of life isn't a long term either. Getting away gives you the opportunity to re-approach and reevaluate. It's best to spend your time doing something that requires minimal thinking such as watching some Netflix, popping in a nostalgic movie, or hanging with friends. You'll come back feeling okay enough to try again. Also, don't feel rushed about this problem in particular. You can go and live your everyday life whatever it may be but don't come back to this if you don't feel emotionally and mentally ready to make this part of your life again.
Reevaluate what you like doing.
Some of the things that you want to do may not be possible right now like traveling or being able to just throw yourself into some random hobby like in the movies and forget about everything and everyone without there being some sort of effect on the other parts of your life. If you're like me, you're in college, you have to go class, you still have do your homework, and make time for a social life. If you're one of those people who doesn't want anyone to know you're having a hard time, all you can do is gradually let thoughts about what interests you seep into your mind throughout the day and mix in your thoughts about school and adult responsibilities. For example, if you're studying music,
Get back into your normal routine and throw some soul searching into the mix.
Like I said, not knowing what you're meant to do with your life is not a long term problem. There's so much going on around you and it's okay to be scared, sad, and thrown off. As much as dreams have been slapped with the labels "cliche" and "unrealistic", no one should feel like they aren't allowed to want something society deems as out of the ordinary. In the end, it is up to you to believe that the unrealistic things you want out of life can happen. I think a lot of the time we lose our way is because we start feeling discouraged whether we have it ourselves to see something all the way through. Some people will have more limitations in others for various reasons but it's up to the you to say, "I chose to do this. I chose to love this. There's a reason why I chose this. As long as I'm doing something related to this right now, I will find ways to get to where I want to be." You give what you love a purpose, not other people. What you love will always be part of your identity even if you aren't actively participating in it.
It's all a matter of wanting to keep going everyday and knowing you have time to figure everything out. Let yourself take some time but don't allow yourself to wallow and give up. As I write this, I speak from experience and understanding that I have as much advice to give as anyone else in college trying to figure things out. I've gone from sort of figuring things out to contemplating whether or not it was the right decision to stay up until 5 AM watching "Friends" when I have class that morning. Either way, let me finish by quoting a naive, angsty, yet very attractive basketball player who once said, "we're all in this together."
