It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the chaos and stress of everyday life and freeze, freak out or ultimately go into full on panic mode. Whether the problem be about a class, a job, a relationship, money, or a combination of a few or all of these things at once, it can get ugly, and it usually does, if we let it. I’m no exception, and I am not writing this because I’m some happy-go-lucky stress free hippy, who feels no stress or worries. Quite oppositely, I am a worrier, a ball of anxiety, and a poor handler of intense or stressful situations. Recently, however, I realized that I don’t have to be. Nobody does. And while we cannot choose or control all of these things, we can choose how we respond and deal with them.
Every time something less than ideal occurs, we have a choice on how to handle it. We can choose to panic, freak out, freeze, and do nothing productive about it, wasting precious time and energy while the situation worsens, and wallow in the seemingly terrible and depressing consequences. OR, we can choose to keep calm, get ourselves together, approach the situation with grace and positivity, and rise to the occasion, typically resulting in a solution to at least some degree, and a happier and more accomplished version of ourselves. No matter if you are inherently anxious, have straight up bad luck, or are going through an especially tough time right now, nothing can take that choice away from you.
For example, say you have a long, lousy day at work, only to come home and find out your friend is ditching your plans to hang out with better ones, and that you are about to miss a deadline for an online assignment that could make or break your grade. You have the choice to A.) Decide that it is the worst day ever, your job sucks, your friend sucks, you suck, and you will never have time to get the stupid assignment done. You can whine about it to a friend, cry, pace around stressing out and complaining until the deadline passes, and then wallow all night as the only attendant of your self-pity party. Or B.) Decide that you are proud of yourself for getting through an especially challenging day and that tomorrow will be better, that your friend canceling is fate and the perfect excuse to use the night to get this assignment done that you have been putting off and save your grade, and that it’ll be cutting it close but of course you can buckle down and get it done on time if you start right away, because you do not actually suck much after all. One choice is self-sabotaging, boring, and frankly, depressing. The other is motivating, positive, and will only lead you to be proud of yourself and more than ready to take on the next day, which will undoubtedly be better than this one (if you choose to make that decision, too). While you can’t control unpredictable circumstances, you can control everything else, and you can become more positive, calm, and infinitely better at handling tough situations, days, weeks, and even months if you want to.
The happiest and calmest people don’t have the easiest and least stressful lives. They aren’t the most privileged or luckiest in the world. They just wake up everyday and make a one choice over another; they make the right choice over and over until it’s a habit, a life and who they are as a person. Miserable, whiny, self-pitying, and “life is out to get me” people do just the opposite. The choice is yours, mine, everyone’s, everyday. I have decided to find ease in the effort, what do you choose?
