As a graduating high school senior, I am coming to the close of a long educational pursuit. I have spent 12 years and it has all led to this: a piece of paper. Aside from this slight underestimation of the purpose of primary and secondary education high school has led me to a new beginning, the educational choose your own adventure that is College, and this leads me to the first ending/beginning on my list.

1. The End of High School and The Beginning of College

As I said before it has been a long and stressful journey to reach high school graduation, and though I haven’t graduated quite yet the feelings of finally finishing this educational pursuit are setting in. The post-high school depression/ I hope I didn’t peak in high school anxiety has already come, but with it, came a strange sense of joy. I can’t be fully at peace yet, I have roads to follow, places to go, but I can pause and look back, and in doing so I have realized that as much as we wish for our time in high school to be over, it was a really enjoyable four years.

I dealt with my fair share of drama, but it is so small compared to the compassion, the fun times, and the sense of pride I have felt because of what I have done in high school. Best of all, this end leads to the beginning of my college career, and here’s to hoping it will be even better than my time in high school.

2. The End of My Swimming Career (mostly) and the Beginning of Free Time

Now this one is probably the hardest for me to handle, high school swimming is over, the sport, and the coach, which I have spent 10 long years of my life with has drawn to a close. I had some amazing successes, and some amazing failures, and while I struggle with leaving my failures behind me at times (let’s be honest almost all the time) I can look back and feel like I succeeded. I placed at districts (including a gold), dropped some amazing times, worried some other swimmers that thought they had the win in the bag, and got to swim in the State Championships.

I didn’t have the best swim at the State Championships, but as my coach kept reminding me, we don’t care about finishing as much as getting there. Sometimes even if the end of the journey is a letdown, getting to the end is the most rewarding part. I made amazing friends, ate a lot of food, and found a true passion of mine. Though I am not completely done with my swimming career (I still have some goals I hope to achieve) it seems that the best times are now in the past, and that’s ok, sometimes the extra things that high school swimming can give you distract from what you should be working towards.

3. The End of My Time in an Internationally Known Marching Band and the Beginning of Finding Myself

I’m a little more excited about this than the end of my swimming career. Though it is nice to be recognized for being the best (and when I say the best I mean it, the Liberty High School Grenadier Band is truly Nulli Secundus (second to none)) it is also tiring. The hard work we all put in every day could get very stressful, we all did our fair share of complaining.

Time after time, our band director would have to announce that we would be practicing outside, to the resistant moans of 300 kids. I would never say that the hard work wasn’t worth it, but it will be nice to be my own. Constantly working to maintain an image as a group lead me to feel lost at times, as if my individuality didn’t matter.

We were all working for something larger than ourselves, which sounds great in theory, but can feel a bit depressing in practice. In a time when existential crises are numerous and close together (not few and far between) it will be nice to be able to make music how I want to make music. The end of my time in the Liberty High School Grenadier Band is the beginning of finding myself as a musician.

4. The End of Relying on my Parents for Everything and the Beginning of Doing What I Want (within reason)

Going to college means having control over what I get to do (for the most part). Even though I am staying with my parents, college still comes with freedom. I get to make my own schedule, dictate what I want to do, hang out with friends when I want, and do what I want with them.

From cliff jumping to skydiving to road trips, all I have to stop me is my intense fear of dying and lack of money that, like freedom, also comes with college. Not having to go to my parents for everything though isn’t always the best, especially when it comes to laundry and issues with professors, but it means I will learn how to take hold of my life and get what I need/ want done. Though this may be the end of my mom defending me and helping me whenever I need it, it is the start of having a sense of responsibility and the beginning of true freedom.

5. (This May Be The Saddest One) The End of Some Old Friendships and the Beginning of Finding People to Share the Rest of My Life With

It is a sad thought, but many people I am friends with now won’t be the people I am friends with even a year from now. I have met many people that have shaped who I am as a person, but people come and go. With my friends off to college, it’s not too likely that I will stay in touch with them all, but such is life. The true friends that I have made will stick with me even if we don’t talk every day, and the people that aren’t truly my friends will be replaced with new, kind, caring people.

College means building lasting relationships, finding the people that you truly fit in with, and I am so excited for it. I have already made friends through the Facebook groups and group messages, and it just makes me more excited. If I can make friends with people I have yet to meet college should be even better, with the ability to talk to them all face to face. Though some friendships may be dying, it was meant to be, and it has led to making lasting relationships that may last a lifetime.

“For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning."

-T. S. Elliot