According to The Kim Foundation for Mental Health and Suicide Prevention, more than one in four American adults will face a mental disorder. One would think that such a high number would create the stage for more articulate and supportive dialogue surrounding mental health, but this just isn't the case. Yet.
October 3rd is National End the Stigma Day. This day honors those battling mental illness and reminds others to be courteous and supportive when discussing this invisible war between mind and self. Too often are those battling depression told to "snap out of it." Too often are those with anxiety told to "pull themselves together." It's time to stop the misunderstanding and start offering compassion and care for those we know dealing with circumstances we may or may not understand.
Here are some ways to better go about discussing mental illness.
1. Just listen.
Sometimes, the best thing to do when engaging in conversation with someone with a mental disorder is just to listen quietly. Each person's battle is different and unique to their lives. Even if you happen to be someone with a mental illness, your experience is unlike anyone else's. Realizing this and offering an ear to someone who wants to express what their battle looks like is one of the best ways to provide support. Even if you have nothing to say, it's definitely best not to insert the occasional "I know what you mean" or "It could be worse." Just listen actively and let the other person know that you're there for them even if you know that your support may not be perfect all the time.
2. Stay open-minded.
The main reason mental health isn't taken as seriously as it needs to be is because of sheer ignorance to what illness actually entails. It's easy to be passive about things that don't affect us directly. However, each illness is incredibly serious in its own way, and especially to the individual facing them. One must be incredibly aware of the constant pain that someone with PTSD, for example, may be facing. It doesn't do well to call anyone crazy for responding to something in a way you don't understand. Remain open to new information and put it into practice. This will further open the door to healthy discussion regarding mental health and wellness.
3. Don't use illnesses as adjectives.
This is a huge no-no. Please understand that when you describe the weather as "bipolar," not only are you diminishing bipolar disorder to one symptom, but you are perpetuating the stigma that those with bipolar disorder are "crazy" and therefore undeserving of understanding and support from a broader population. Similarly, one shouldn't say that they're feeling depressed because their favorite TV show is canceled or that they're feeling anxious over an upcoming quiz. (Unless, of course, their symptoms are diagnosable and serious in nature. Often times, this isn't the case.) What this does to those with mental disorders who might overhear this sort of nonchalant banter is that they begin to feel mocked and invalidated. It's no secret that someone with depression or anxiety does not deserve to feel any worse than they might already. Diagnoses are not adjectives to be thrown around. The DSM-V is not a thesaurus.
4. Don't be the Mental Illness Police.
Many times, a person with a mental disorder is struggling hard enough to have a normal day or even a normal couple of hours. Don't be the person in anyone's life that doesn't believe they're struggling just because they genuinely seem to be having a good time. Don't assume someone with an eating disorder is okay because they seem to be fine at mealtime. Don't assume someone with depression is cured because they went out for a night and had fun. There is no right or wrong way to have a mental illness and express emotion. Again, understand that not one person's illness will look at all similar to another's. Encourage your peers to be with others, complete meals, talk about their problems, etc., but don't think that someone is "faking" or "cured" because they just so happen to be a high-functioning individual. Embrace the moments when someone seems to be doing okay and let them know that you're proud of them no matter what.
5. Just be there.
In a society where mental health is so stigmatized, it's hard to find good support in the form of non-professional communities. Being a good support person means lending an active ear, avoiding toxic phrases such as "you're crazy" or "I'm sure this will pass," validating the other person's experience, and constantly reassuring the person that you're there for them every step of the way. Mental illness is not a fun topic to discuss, but it's incredibly important that everyone knows how to talk about it (or at least knows what not to say). Each day will be different. Each experience will be different. As an outsider looking in, it's crucial to remain open, honest, and nonjudgmental. This way, the stigma will decrease and true understanding will allow for the conversation to be helpful instead of scary for all parties involved.
Celebrate End the Stigma Day by reshaping the way you think about mental illness!
