Don't Invalidate My Feelings Because Everything Is Relative

Don't Invalidate My Feelings Because Everything Is Relative

My 18 years is all I have for perspective. And that doesn't make my experiences invalid.

At girls' night, conversation goes all over the place. We talk about everything and anything, from classes to future hopes and dream to relationships to love to each other; everything and anything. Girls' nights are incredibly therapeutic. It's when you're able to sit and just talk with your girls about the things on your mind, get validation for those thoughts because they too have had them, get encouragement and reassurance for dealing with problems.

But at our last girls' night, a theme kept coming up of, "But of course, I don't know what that really feels like so it's stupid to say..."

I don't know what that really feels like.

What is that even supposed to mean? Girls' night isn't the only place I've heard this either; older people have always told me, especially when I'm either complaining or basking, that, "You ain't seen nothing yet. You don't know what it's like." Their point is that I can't make any valid judgments about the things I'm experiencing because I haven't experienced anything yet in life.

Oh, so you mean to say that the past 18 years of my life didn't exist? I spent them in a black hole devoid of any purpose or meaning?

Okay, okay, I know that's not what they're saying. They're saying that with their experience in life, which is much longer than mine, they've seen what my problems are like relative to their own, relative to the world, relative to years beyond what I've experienced.

They're putting my experiences into perspective. Which is entirely valid. From their perspective, I haven't seen anything of the world yet, because they've been alive for so much longer and have seen so much more.

But for me, my 18 years is all I have for perspective. And that doesn't make my experiences invalid. It does not. Because life is relative, and everything I've felt or experienced up until this point is entirely real.

Let me put it in this context: at girls' night, conversation came around somehow to soul mates. A friend said, "Of course I'm not going to say that we're soul mates, because I'm just 18, but..." and I cut her off right there. Everything in life is relative. If at that moment what you feel for another person is the strongest thing you've felt in your 18 years, then that person is your soul mate.

Can someone better come along later in life? Of course! But for now, that's the "best" person you've met in your life, and relative to your own life, that's saying something. What if you died at age 20? That person who was the closest thing to a soul mate at age 18 then becomes your soulmate-level person, because you died at age 20 and everything you experienced up until then is all you have as a frame of reference for life.

If the vacation you just went on this past summer was the best vacation of your life, you're not going to say, "but there are so many other possible vacations out there, I can't say that this is the best vacation ever." You're going to say, "This is the best vacation I've been on so far." That could change in the next few years, but the fact that it could change doesn't invalidate the way you feel about it now. Because life is relative.

Every moment in life is always subject to change. Any opinion you develop can always be changed. That puts a temporary time stamp on almost everything in life, with an unidentified expiration date, but that's okay! You never know what the future is going to look like, you don't know what the next few moments of your life are even going to look like. That means it's okay to make judgments today based on what you're experiencing, as long as you recognize they can and should be able to change.

Your experiences are entirely valid. Entirely. At every stage in life. It doesn't give you a free pass to act melodramatic and compare your life to Shakespearean tragedies every two seconds, but it does give you the pass to accept that the extremes of your life are relative to the extremes of another's. Every feeling you have is valid. So let yourself feel it.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

Popular Right Now

All That You Want To Know About Sebaceous Cyst Removal Treatment

Sebaceous cyst is a skin disorder causes pain and discomfort to the person. It looks like a small bump on the skin and looks bad.

Sebaceous cyst is a skin disorder causes pain and discomfort to the person. It looks like a small bump on the skin and looks bad. Sebaceous cyst is not a critical or life-threatening medical condition and you don’t need to worry about it at all as it is common medical condition and can be treated comfortably and easily by a sebaceous cyst removal treatment by an expert dermatologist. 

If you want to know what sebaceous cyst is and what are the causes of it? This article will help you to understand everything about sebaceous cyst. 

Sebaceous Cyst:

The cyst is nothing but a pouch of tissue that looks like a capsule and is filled either with liquid or gaseous material and contain pus in considerable quantity. Sebaceous Cyst is a type of cyst that is originated from the Sebaceous glands located at the hair follicles of the body. The main task of this Sebaceous gland is to produce sebum oil that coats hair and skin. It is the reason why Sebaceous cyst is found beneath the skin.  It is not a cancerous bump and grows very slowly. Its other name is wen too. 

Causes:

The main reason is the damage of the Sebaceous gland. The size of the Sebaceous Cyst varies as millimetres to centimetres. When you find Sebaceous Cyst on body, all you need to do is to consult a London skin doctor and that is all. The doctor will examine you and recommend treatment for the same. 

Generally, sebaceous cyst is found on face, neck and torso and there is nothing to worry as it is not a life-threatening condition. Yes, it will surely annoy you to a great extent. If irritation is beyond your toleration and affect your day to day activities, it is advisable to hire a dermatologist. 

Sebaceous cyst removal treatment 

There are many individuals who avoid taking treatment for sebaceous cyst and end up having infection all over the body. Why to take a risk when a treatment is available to you? If you find out about sebaceous cyst, just visit the London skin doctor near you and that is all. If you search on the internet, you will find many skin specialists offering sebaceous cyst treatments and all you need to do is to find one that has academic expertise and experience. 

The treatment is simple. First of all, the doctor will mark the area on your body and numb that area. Then excision is done and then doctors will stitch it. The whole procedure will be done in just an hour or two and without any pain. The patient can go to the home same day. Once the procedure is completed, you will not have sebaceous cyst on your skin for the rest of your life. The procedure is effortless and simple and unpainful. 

Wrapping Up:

Some patients with sebaceous cyst prefer home remedies rather than visiting an experienced London skin doctor. However, sometimes it can lower the pain and offer some comfort, it is not an effective practice to follow. It is strongly not at all recommended. If the sebaceous cyst infection spreads to other parts of body, it will make pain worse and relying on such homemade remedies may jeopardize your health conditions. Why to take such a risk? Always consult a right skin specialist who has years of experience and expertise of the disease and get rid of the irritating and discomforting sebaceous cyst once for all. 

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

A New View Can Mean Better Work

Change can be so good.

Sometimes you have to have a new perspective in order to do something.

This happens to me all the time when it comes to schoolwork and writing. It is hard for me sometimes because I am an all-online student. This means that I do not go to a classroom. I sit in my spare bedroom, which I call my office. I sit at the same desk every day. The only perk is no one takes my "unassigned assigned" seat. But it can also get a little boring at times.

It is hard sometimes to have perspective on things or be able to be creative when you are sitting in the same place every day to do school. Change can be such a good thing.

My place to find a new perspective and get my creativity back is the local Starbucks. Usually, in the afternoons, it is pretty quiet and chill. This means I can come to get coffee, read my schoolwork, and study. Unlike my office, it is a totally new different view, even if I sit in the same three spots. Sometimes I get some conversation, other times, no one talks to me. I’m okay with either.

My mom was the one who actually gave me the idea to go out since I was getting tired of sitting at home, and when it got cold, I couldn't sit poolside. I’m glad she said something, and I am even more glad that I listened to her.

I do not have the chances to go to places that most students would go. I do not have a school library that I can sit in the back corner and just hammer down on work. I do not have empty classrooms either. So, this means I have to get creative sometimes. I have tried to go to different food places but sometimes I cannot even hear myself think.

So, whenever I want or need to go out, I always find myself in the middle of Kansas State’s campus at the Starbucks. I usually tend to have something Ohio University on so I get some interesting looks. I once had a girl ask me if I realized I was in Kansas not Ohio. Of course, that is a major flip from the Wizard of Oz questions I normally get. Sometimes I cannot hold my sarcasm, but most times I give them the friendly reminder that Fort Riley is right up the road and that is why I’m no longer in Ohio.

Either way, most of my credit for my articles and most of my school work goes to Starbucks and their always fast WiFi. While this does not help my coffee addiction at all, it gives me some great work. So here is to another semester spent at Starbucks, and my coffee budget being fully reinstated!

And a huge sorry to my husband, I’m gonna be smelling like coffee at least once a week, I love you!

Cover Image Credit: PEXELS

Related Content

Facebook Comments