Ladies, Start Putting Some Responsibility On Your Man

Ladies, Start Putting Some Responsibility On Your Man, Not Just The Other Woman He Cheated With

Not acknowledging the fact that your man wronged you can result in him doing it again in the future.

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We live in a society where cheating has become pretty much normalized within relationships. Most of the time, younger or newer relationships form only to be diminished by one or the other cheating. Being unfaithful has become so mainstream that people are actually surprised when someone is loyal.

How sad is that?

I'm sure there ARE plenty of relationships out there that thrive on honesty and being loyal to one another, and I applaud those couples that are able to do this. A good relationship is all about timing and the right person.

I'm sure there are a lot of women out there who have been cheated on. If you have, what was your next step after finding out the bad news? Did you go after your man or "the other woman?"

More often than not, "the other woman" is the one that gets all of the blame. She becomes the one who initiated the sexual, romantic, or mental cheating that your man fell victim to. But is this always true?

Of course, it's not, and the blame should never be put on just one person. It takes two to tango. Cheating is not just one-sided, so why is the blame almost always fully put on the other woman?

Ladies, if your man cheats on you, you need to learn to accept what he did and hold him responsible.

Solely blaming the other woman is what's making cheating so normalized in the relationships we hold. I'm not saying that the other woman should be given no blame because, as I said, it takes two to tango. But not acknowledging the fact that your man wronged you can result in him doing it again in the future.

Your man should be putting you first. He should be making you his first priority and not even thinking within the vicinity of being unfaithful.

Cheating doesn't occur because someone else seduced your boyfriend. He let that happen, and he could've put an end to it, but he didn't.

Constantly blaming the other woman will break your relationship even more than it already has. I know you probably think that your boyfriend could do no wrong, and he may twist the story and tell you it was all "the other woman's" fault. Whatever the situation, your man cheated, and he needs to take responsibility for that.

That all starts with you.

Blaming another woman for the actions of your man isn't healthy for you or your relationship. We are all women worthy of love, loyalty, and a relationship that we can be proud of, so start making moves to get there.

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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I Am Not Anyone's Second Choice

I'm not just here as your last resort.

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I always see those inspirational quotes/pictures going around on social media about how it's okay to cut toxic people out of your life. For the longest time, this wasn't something that I related to at all. I had my friends and I didn't have any problems.

But throughout my time in college, I've had people in my life that I realized only cared about me when it was convenient for them.

This has proved true in my relationships and friendships. I never really realized it until I started thinking more about it, but since I was younger, I've always been taken advantage of. Like I've said before, I have such a big heart and I always forgive people, even when they don't deserve it.

Most of the relationships I've been in, I came away feeling like I was just being used. I also had a friend that made me feel like that way as well. All of these people only reached out to me when everyone else wasn't available. They only reached out to me when they just didn't want to be alone, and they knew that I would text them back, hang out with them, be there for them.

It got to the point where these relationships all made me feel like I was just people's second choice. Like they didn't care about me unless they had no one else to hang out with.

But I'm not anyone else's second choice.

I've finally gotten to a point in my life where I've realized that I do have toxic people in my life. And I've finally come to the realization that I have to cut those kinds of people out.

I'm not the kind of person to say that I'm any better or any worse than those around me, but I definitely don't deserve to be taken advantage of or used. No one deserves that.

And I'm not going to be treated like that anymore because I'm not a second option. For anyone.

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