Ever since I developed strong anxiety, (which was ever since I started walking), I started to use it as an excuse. I mean it is obviously hard for someone to do things when they are at an extreme anxious state, but is it really the anxiety stopping them or is it themselves? The truth is, it's all in someone's head.

I used to and still believe that I really can't do anything because of "it." It is hard to get out of that. I avoid situations so I don't have to face "it." That "it" that creeps out of my brain, and just waits for the perfect timing to unleash itself.

Obviously it will unleash itself if I think about it and wait for it. I mean I technically schedule "its" appointments so then it knows when to come. Those are called automatic thoughts and they are part of the anxiety, also known as "it," the monster.

Sometimes I have thoughts of giving up with school because I believe that "it" will stop me from succeeding. I believe that it is hard to do homework with a high level of anxiety. I always tell my friends and family that I will not be able to find my dream job or that I can't do this and that because my anxiety is too strong. This is why I call it a monster because whenever I blame my anxiety, everyone makes it look like it's invisible or unreal. False, but I believe in it.

I don't have social anxiety but whenever a friend asks me to hang out, I make up excuses or say no because "it" might make me act the way I don't want and I will end up making a fool out of myself. They say "no come," but it is hard when there is an evil laugh inside your head just waiting for me to make a mistake or be disliked. I just stop texting and go to sleep.

I remember I used to ditch class in high school and hide in the bathrooms because I just didn't feel good enough to attend class. The next day I would tell my teachers that I wasn't feeling good and told them that "it" won't leave me alone. I could see the disappointment in their faces as if I was making a dumb excuse. But it was because once again, without realizing it, I blamed it on the monster.

I want to feel better inside and not let those anxious, intrusive thoughts invade my life. They say working out is a good way to feeling better, but guess what? I say I can't because my anxiety might give me a heart attack while working out. How dumb does that sound? Very, but I believe it.

Bottom line is that it is not "it" that is stopping you from doing what you want, not something or someone either. You are that "it" behind the mask. It is you who has the thoughts and let them control you. You are the monster and your own enemy.

You have to act the way you want to feel and do the opposite of what you would do with the high level of anxiety. You cannot let yourself be the obstacle of reaching your own goals or dreams. You just can't. It is very hard to do the opposite and it will be uncomfortable but just know it is better to suffer short-term than long-term.Yes I am aware that it is not pretty. I mean no pain no gain, right?

Be you, be a fighter, because no one or nothing else will fight your battles.

Always remember there is no "it," or monster, you are the only one who sees it and feels it because it is in your head.