The culture of relationships and dating is something that has always changed pretty regularly in America. It used to be that you'd find one person you were attracted to, and stick with them, whether you were happy in the relationship or not. It was just a part of the culture back then. In more recent years, though, this idea has been turned on its head, with hookup culture becoming a prevalent force in our society.
We see it emerge through social media, dating apps like Tinder, and through reality tv shows. It's such a common part of our culture now, that we've integrated it into our lives and conversations without thinking twice about it. Despite its prevalence, though, there are still people out there who don't participate in this lifestyle. I'm one of those people, and I have to say, we get a lot of slack for it.
I have been in a long-term relationship since my sophomore year of high school. I met the right person and we've been dating ever since. It all just fell into place and ended up working out for the both of us.
When I tell people this, though, instead of being happy for my happiness, their reactions are usually pretty negative. People usually discredit me for having only been in one relationship and insinuate that my minimal dating record causes me to have a lack of understanding in the way the world works.
To those people, I'd like to say the following:
Just because I have been dating someone for six years, does not mean that I have not experienced life. I still grew up, graduated high school, and moved away from home to college. I've experienced loss, maybe not in the form of a permanent breakup, but in the form of failing courses, or losing a loved one suddenly.
I've experienced heartbreak just like anybody else and had to navigate my way through making new friends. I have had to make countless dumb decisions in order to learn the important lessons.
I am not "old fashioned" for having a long-term relationship. I am just like any other modern young woman, just without the dating apps and meeting new love interests for coffee. Instead, I spend my time playing Pokemon Go with my boyfriend and have his Starbucks order memorized.
The only difference between you and me is that I went through my life with the same person by my side. I've had a constant companion to experience everything with; someone who's been there since day one. Instead of doing all of this on my own, or with a group of friends and romantic interests that fluctuate, I just happened to do it with my boyfriend, and that doesn't make my life experiences any less valid than yours.
I've still lived my life and learned my lessons, I've just had the same person with me through it all.
This article is by no means saying that hookup culture is a bad thing, or that you're a worse person than I am for not having a long-term relationship. I think that, while it has had its negative effects, it's also had a positive influence on our community.
Hookup culture has encouraged people to be open and honest about their sexuality in a way that is comfortable to them, and it has also opened the door for more genuine and positive talks about practicing safe sex. Hookup culture is not inherently harmful, but when it causes you to be reckless, or judge another person's lifestyle, that's where it turns into something questionable.
I just wish people would respect my choice of committing to a long-term relationship, especially since I respect their choice in exploring their options before settling down.
