I will never forget being a freshman in college and being a new member in my sorority. Back then, each day was sparkly and magical; I met new sisters everyday, and got exposed to new challenges. It was all extremely nerve wracking but so exciting. That sparkle and magic was what pushed me to take on clothing chairman, two littles, and my executive board position as Vice President of Membership Education. My time in sorority was well spent, I worked hard, so when second semester of senior year rolled around, I was on another level of done.

I looked like a combination of these two stellar models:

When I was a freshman, I remember looking at the seniors in meeting, slumped in their chairs with a look of total boredom and thinking "How could they just sit there! This is all so exciting!" I told myself I would never be that way, even as a senior. But then came the day I found myself shrugged over in my chair, head in my hands, drooling through chapter meeting. This posture-ruining slump came when I had reached the level that the seniors were on when I was a freshman, and I figured out what they knew then.

What they knew was just how insignificant the perfect paddle or right formal date is, in comparison to real life issues. And it’s not just the issue of bills or grocery shopping without your mom, it's bigger things. It’s keeping yourself healthy and keeping the relationships you want. It’s living a full life and being happy while doing it. It all came to me at my last chapter meeting, when I didn’t have a position and I was able to coast through it without frantically writing dates down for summer meetings and fall ventures. There was one thing different about that meeting in comparison to every other: the pressure was off.

So while younger sisters may think they are leaps and bounds away from being like an alumnae, there is only one real difference between active sisters and alum: no pressure! Without it, you are able to use everything you learned in your time in sorority and apply it however you want, and I am LOVING it.

You don’t love everyone in your sorority, it is physically impossible so don’t deny it. Of course, you’ll always be there for any sister that comes into your life, but now you are able to focus on the friendships you actually want to be apart of. What also goes away is the competitive nature behind bigs and littles. You don’t see bigs bringing gifts to chapter for their little for no reason and feeling like a deadbeat big. You don’t see bigs and littles out for coffee and think "sh*t I should buy my little coffee! Why aren’t I more like ____!"

My big and I grew up in the same town, and I pass her work every day on my way to the gym. I see her every six months or so, and I’m not mad. She is still my greatest inspiration and I value everything she has done and will do for me. But now I don’t resent her for not calling me everyday, or not sending me chocolates every time I have a bad day. Our relationship is realistic, as all friendships, sisters or not, should be.

Without pressure, I am able to look at all my different opportunities and use them if I want to. I can attend conferences and learn more about my sorority’s history. I can apply to work for national headquarters and plan real presentations for my sisters. I am able to do all this without being forced, and that freedom makes you want to do it even more.

Basically, no pressure, no problems. So when they say "it's not for four years, it's for life," know that that is true but how you use it is up to you.