Depression makes you feel numb, Anxiety makes you feel scared

Depression makes you feel numb, Anxiety makes you feel scared

Depression is the constant feeling of being numb. You wake up in the morning just to go back to bed again.
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Its hard to explain, what is really going on inside of my head all of the time. I'm at a loss for words and all i really want to do is scream and tell someone to take all my thoughts away. Its like my mind never shuts off and just the simplest little thing can set me off. Some days are good and others are just so bad, I don't even want to get out of bed. Its no ones fault, its just something thats wrong with my head. Because, honestly I am a happy person, I just get so lost inside my head that it makes me believe that everyone hates me and that I will never be good enough. Now, this is how I explain my depression and anxiety, I don't do it for attention and I didn't tell anyone at first because I didn't want the attention that you sometimes get with it. But, now i'll talk about my experience, and give advice because honestly their is no cure, its an everyday battle that you have to try to win against yourself.

The one thing that bothers me more than anything are all of these people going around saying that they have anxiety and depression when really they have no idea what they are talking about. They are confusing a broken heart from a breakup with actually having depression, when they are clearly not the same thing and you are just using it for even more attention. Depression is not something to be glorified and made out to be this beautiful thing, it is something that people who actually have it wish that they didn't. While all of these people who don't actually have it, act like they do to get attention.

Here are 5 things that people with depression and anxiety actually go through:

1. Your relationship with food. Some days you can go without eating and not even realize it, while other days it is like you cannot get full and you will eat anything and everything that you see.

2. Sometimes you just do not feel anything at all. This one is very true to me at least, I always have this happen where I really do not feel at all and nothing really affects me.

3. Sleep. You do not always sleep the best, but really all you want to do is sleep. Even though your mind will not shut off.

4. You feel like you are alone. Even when you have friends and family, you always feel like you are dealing with this alone and that you are just bothering them with your problems.

5. Self-harm is actually a thing. People do not cut or self-harm for attention (all of the time, because yes some people do it for attention. Those people are not really suffering from depression but really just want some attention.) Self-harm is used for different things like wanting to feel something or even channeling those emotional feelings into one specific feeling.

Here are 5 myths/things that people who do not have depression do:

1. Breakups. This is a big thing, for people to now say they have depression because their boyfriend/girlfriend broke up with them. Then a week later they are better.

The DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) says you need to have at least 5 of the 9 symptoms of depression nearly everyday for at least two weeks.

2. Fake cutting/self-harm. This is what I call it when people purposely cut or hurt themselves in places that are easily seen, or they know someone will see them. People who hurt themselves on purpose usually try to hide it, because they feel embarrassed.

These people usually let people know what they are doing or "accidentally" letting their scars show.

3. They think its cool. For, some reason people have it in their heads that having anxiety/depression is cool. They now have an excuse for acting a certain way or not wanting to something.

This one has a lot to do with not wanting to do things. You can tell your teacher you do not want to give a speech because you have anxiety. (Now this one hits really close to home because I actually do have anxiety and I had one class that was so bad I threw up every time I went to that class, in the end I had to drop it and take it the next semester with a different teach. This was embarrassing to me, and I do not understand why people lie about it, when it actually happens to people.)

4. Its all in your head. No, its more than that. You feel it in your whole body, it can start in your head and then some days it feels like you cannot breathe. Yes, your mind plays tricks on you and a lot of it has to do with what is going on inside of your head, but its just everything piled on top of each other.

5. You can snap out of it. No, that is not how that works. You have to work at it all of the time and just like anything else you can always fall back into it.

Depression is not something people really want to talk about or listen to someone talk about. It is common curtesy to ask people, "How are you?" But most people do not want a real answer they just want you to say, I am good, or i'm fine. When in reality most people have something going on with them they just do not want to bother people with their problems. Maybe, if we could talk about these things it would help a lot of people out and if they have depression or anxiety they can get the help that they need.


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It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.
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Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

SEE ALSO: 18 Signs You're A Little Too Comfortable With Your Best Friends

The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

Late night talks were never more real.

Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.

...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things You Say To Your Roommates Before Going Out

The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.

It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

Your old dorm room is now filled with two freshmen trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.


Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

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Mental Health Is Important, Too

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There comes a time in your life, maybe a few different times, when something in you just clicks. You know, the moments when you can't really explain it but it all just seems to make so much sense but you still don't understand it. But in it, you understand that you get to move forward in the next chapter of whatever it is you have been working toward.

The element about this that makes it so frustrating is not being able to understand it or explain it. It is one of those things you just have to trust is good and then build on it. It is really hard sometimes to just "trust" that the feeling of reassurance or peace (maybe?) is something you can depend on when you struggle so much with uncertainty.

I am almost 23 years old, and I have experienced these feelings a few different times, mostly in the last few years. But there are several people (some that I knew personally) who don't ever, and won't ever, get to experience these moments in their lives. There is a sort of pain and suffering that comes along with never being able to feel or reach that next chapter. The feelings of being stuck, being trapped, sometimes moving backward and further away from goals.. it can be the loneliest place to be.

Add in the factor of labeling- labeling someone a loner, someone who pushes everyone away, someone who never accomplishes anything, someone who is a loser, someone who is a nobody, someone who is nothing, someone who is a mistake, someone who did something they never did.. these are the types of things that contribute to people feeling like there is no "next chapter" to reach and strive for.

I am honestly not sure what to take from this article... Do I take from it that there are people in this world who strive for greatness and they do nothing less until they reach it? Do I take from it that there is darkness in this world that consumes people so much that it destroys them? Could I take from this that there are people in this world who experience both the need for success and the feeling of never-ending darkness? I will leave that up to your interpretation.

I just know my story... I know pieces of others' stories... I know of a young girl who took her life way too soon because of labels... I also know those labels to push someone toward success. I know of a young boy to be bullied to death, and I know of people who continue to be labeled even though they are no longer with us because it justifies some peoples actions.

I wish that there was a way to make a difference- a difference in homes, in communities, and in schools to help authority figures and children realize that this behavior is not okay. I wish more teachers cared as much about the conversations in the hallways as they do their low salary. I wish principals cared as much for the wellbeing and whole story of an entire student rather than the grade they see on a test or the undisciplined actions they present in a classroom. I wish parents would understand that it all starts at home- discipline your children but don't be so strict that you are abusive; neither of these things produces good qualities.

I hear all too often, with a brother in a public high school, of the amount of superior behavior that goes on in schools with little to no attention paid to the actual problem. When will state education systems recognize the importance of mental health, bully and suicide prevention systems, and assemblies addressing the deaths of students and actions of abusive behavior going on within their education systems and communities?

I truly do not understand why we are still talking about some subjects but not others. Mental health is no less important to that of equality of race, gender, and socioeconomic status. If anything, it should play a bigger hand seeing as though it is usually because of race, gender, and socioeconomic status that bullying lays a foundation and builds on.

Let us pay attention to everyone getting a fair and equal shot at life and reaching those moments that we cannot quite describe but understand when we feel them. Let everyone get that opportunity to reach their next chapter in life. Don't be a part of the period that ends their book, be the sentence that makes them want to turn their page

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