Depression makes you feel numb, Anxiety makes you feel scared

Depression makes you feel numb, Anxiety makes you feel scared

Depression is the constant feeling of being numb. You wake up in the morning just to go back to bed again.
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Its hard to explain, what is really going on inside of my head all of the time. I'm at a loss for words and all i really want to do is scream and tell someone to take all my thoughts away. Its like my mind never shuts off and just the simplest little thing can set me off. Some days are good and others are just so bad, I don't even want to get out of bed. Its no ones fault, its just something thats wrong with my head. Because, honestly I am a happy person, I just get so lost inside my head that it makes me believe that everyone hates me and that I will never be good enough. Now, this is how I explain my depression and anxiety, I don't do it for attention and I didn't tell anyone at first because I didn't want the attention that you sometimes get with it. But, now i'll talk about my experience, and give advice because honestly their is no cure, its an everyday battle that you have to try to win against yourself.

The one thing that bothers me more than anything are all of these people going around saying that they have anxiety and depression when really they have no idea what they are talking about. They are confusing a broken heart from a breakup with actually having depression, when they are clearly not the same thing and you are just using it for even more attention. Depression is not something to be glorified and made out to be this beautiful thing, it is something that people who actually have it wish that they didn't. While all of these people who don't actually have it, act like they do to get attention.

Here are 5 things that people with depression and anxiety actually go through:

1. Your relationship with food. Some days you can go without eating and not even realize it, while other days it is like you cannot get full and you will eat anything and everything that you see.

2. Sometimes you just do not feel anything at all. This one is very true to me at least, I always have this happen where I really do not feel at all and nothing really affects me.

3. Sleep. You do not always sleep the best, but really all you want to do is sleep. Even though your mind will not shut off.

4. You feel like you are alone. Even when you have friends and family, you always feel like you are dealing with this alone and that you are just bothering them with your problems.

5. Self-harm is actually a thing. People do not cut or self-harm for attention (all of the time, because yes some people do it for attention. Those people are not really suffering from depression but really just want some attention.) Self-harm is used for different things like wanting to feel something or even channeling those emotional feelings into one specific feeling.

Here are 5 myths/things that people who do not have depression do:

1. Breakups. This is a big thing, for people to now say they have depression because their boyfriend/girlfriend broke up with them. Then a week later they are better.

The DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) says you need to have at least 5 of the 9 symptoms of depression nearly everyday for at least two weeks.

2. Fake cutting/self-harm. This is what I call it when people purposely cut or hurt themselves in places that are easily seen, or they know someone will see them. People who hurt themselves on purpose usually try to hide it, because they feel embarrassed.

These people usually let people know what they are doing or "accidentally" letting their scars show.

3. They think its cool. For, some reason people have it in their heads that having anxiety/depression is cool. They now have an excuse for acting a certain way or not wanting to something.

This one has a lot to do with not wanting to do things. You can tell your teacher you do not want to give a speech because you have anxiety. (Now this one hits really close to home because I actually do have anxiety and I had one class that was so bad I threw up every time I went to that class, in the end I had to drop it and take it the next semester with a different teach. This was embarrassing to me, and I do not understand why people lie about it, when it actually happens to people.)

4. Its all in your head. No, its more than that. You feel it in your whole body, it can start in your head and then some days it feels like you cannot breathe. Yes, your mind plays tricks on you and a lot of it has to do with what is going on inside of your head, but its just everything piled on top of each other.

5. You can snap out of it. No, that is not how that works. You have to work at it all of the time and just like anything else you can always fall back into it.

Depression is not something people really want to talk about or listen to someone talk about. It is common curtesy to ask people, "How are you?" But most people do not want a real answer they just want you to say, I am good, or i'm fine. When in reality most people have something going on with them they just do not want to bother people with their problems. Maybe, if we could talk about these things it would help a lot of people out and if they have depression or anxiety they can get the help that they need.


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College As Told By Junie B. Jones

A tribute to the beloved author Barbara Parks.
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The Junie B. Jones series was a big part of my childhood. They were the first chapter books I ever read. On car trips, my mother would entertain my sister and me by purchasing a new Junie B. Jones book and reading it to us. My favorite part about the books then, and still, are how funny they are. Junie B. takes things very literally, and her (mis)adventures are hilarious. A lot of children's authors tend to write for children and parents in their books to keep the attention of both parties. Barbara Park, the author of the Junie B. Jones series, did just that. This is why many things Junie B. said in Kindergarten could be applied to her experiences in college, as shown here.

When Junie B. introduces herself hundreds of times during orientation week:

“My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 1)

When she goes to her first college career fair:

"Yeah, only guess what? I never even heard of that dumb word careers before. And so I won't know what the heck we're talking about." (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 2)

When she thinks people in class are gossiping about her:

“They whispered to each other for a real long time. Also, they kept looking at me. And they wouldn't even stop." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When someone asks her about the library:

“It's where the books are. And guess what? Books are my very favorite things in the whole world!" (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 27)

When she doesn't know what she's eating at the caf:

“I peeked inside the bread. I stared and stared for a real long time. 'Cause I didn't actually recognize the meat, that's why. Finally, I ate it anyway. It was tasty...whatever it was." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When she gets bored during class:

“I drew a sausage patty on my arm. Only that wasn't even an assignment." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 18)

When she considers dropping out:

“Maybe someday I will just be the Boss of Cookies instead!" (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 76)

When her friends invite her to the lake for Labor Day:

“GOOD NEWS! I CAN COME TO THE LAKE WITH YOU, I BELIEVE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 17)

When her professor never enters grades on time:

“I rolled my eyes way up to the sky." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 38)

When her friends won't stop poking her on Facebook:


“Do not poke me one more time, and I mean it." (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 7)

When she finds out she got a bad test grade:

“Then my eyes got a little bit wet. I wasn't crying, though." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 17)

When she isn't allowed to have a pet on campus but really wants one:

“FISH STICK! I NAMED HIM FISH STICK BECAUSE HE'S A FISH STICK, OF COURSE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 59)

When she has to walk across campus in the dark:

“There's no such thing as monsters. There's no such thing as monsters." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 12)

When her boyfriend breaks her heart:

“I am a bachelorette. A bachelorette is when your boyfriend named Ricardo dumps you at recess. Only I wasn't actually expecting that terrible trouble." (Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl, p. 1)

When she paints her first canvas:


"And painting is the funnest thing I love!" (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 61)

When her sorority takes stacked pictures:

“The biggie kids stand in the back. And the shortie kids stand in the front. I am a shortie kid. Only that is nothing to be ashamed of." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 7)

When she's had enough of the caf's food:

“Want to bake a lemon pie? A lemon pie would be fun, don't you think?" (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed p. 34)

When she forgets about an exam:

“Speechless is when your mouth can't speech." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 54)

When she finds out she has enough credits to graduate:

“A DIPLOMA! A DIPLOMA! I WILL LOVE A DIPLOMA!" (Junie B. Jones is a Graduation Girl p. 6)

When she gets home from college:

"IT'S ME! IT'S JUNIE B. JONES! I'M HOME FROM MY SCHOOL!" (Junie B. Jones and some Sneaky Peaky Spying p. 20)

Cover Image Credit: OrderOfBooks

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I Never Thought I'd Have To Attend A Classmate's Funeral Two Weeks Before He Was Supposed To Graduate

Teen suicide is a taboo topic where I'm from, even if we have lost two members of the community to it in the past two years.

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One of the hardest experiences of my life happened just this week, at the funeral of a boy I barely even knew. I had gone to school with him since kindergarten but hadn't had a class with him since fifth grade, and I don't think we had talked since then. All I had ever thought of doing with my classmates two weeks before graduation was complaining about finals and maybe going to a few graduation parties.

Instead, we all left school midday to head to the largest Baptist church in town. I sat in the middle of a row of pews, surrounded by two hundred or more people that I had either gone to school with my whole life or had gone to school with at some point in the past thirteen years.

There was not a single one of them that did not have tears in their eyes. We listened to the pastor share memories of our classmate that had been shared online, and some of us even got up to share our own and to thank his parents for raising such a kind and caring, young man.

He was the type of guy to invite you to go out to eat, even if he knew you had to work, just because he didn't want you to feel forgotten about. Every single person who spoke said, "There wasn't a single thing I didn't like about this kid." They spoke those words in full truth.

The senior class was named in the obituary as honorary pallbearers. We followed the eight football players and the rest of the football team and our classmate's closest friends to a hearse waiting outside. I watched as the hearse pulled away, and I believe that is when it truly hit everyone.

He was gone, and he wasn't coming back. As the hearse pulled away, all I could see on the other side were tears streaming down the faces of some of the toughest guys I know.

We called the football team the Thunder House. The phrase "Thunder House" went from something normally said with a smile or a chuckle to something said with a melancholy tone. No one cheered when it was said anymore, they only gave sad nods and tight, depressing smiles.

Teen suicide is a taboo topic where I'm from, even if we have lost two members of the community to it in the past two years. In 2017, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention published an article stating that Americans in rural areas are more likely to die by suicide, also stating that suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the United States.

The week before we lost our classmate, there was a walk at the school on a Saturday to raise awareness for teen suicide and depression. I only heard one teacher say anything about it beforehand. There were no signs around the school. There was no mention of it on the morning announcements. There was not a post on the school's website inviting members of the community to join us.

I truly believe that more could have been done that could have possibly prevented the heartache that has impacted a school, a family, and a community. Reach out to those you feel may be in need, and even those that you do not feel may be in need because you never know what someone is going through.

Articles on suicide prevention or recount stories of suicide or suicidal thoughts should end with the following message, written in regular weight font, styled in italics:

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255


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