We don't know each other, yet I'd like to sincerely apologize on behalf of the coward that hurt you. Whatever hardship was placed in front of you, I am truly sorry and I hope and pray this tragedy ends soon. The feeling you have in your heart right now--the emptiness, the hostility, the anguish, the loneliness--is a feeling nobody but you can truly understand, however, I am here today to remind you that as difficult as it is to believe now, it is not the end of the world. It will take a significant amount of time plus a significant amount of heartache to work through, but your struggle can be conquered. I battled a severe form of clinical depression from July of 2015 to August of 2016 and while I still have bad days here and there, I have since denied depression the sickening pleasure of controlling my life. It was a lengthy process that took a significant weight loss, a significant weight gain, hundreds of sleepless night, great financial loss, hours of smile practicing, a significant weight loss again, and the combination of the worst physical and emotional pain I've ever had to endure before deciding not to suffer any longer. I decided to do something about it and I'm here today to remind you that you can do the same.

Your initial reaction does not define your situation.

Within the same month, I was wrongfully terminated from a job I loved by a jealous manager I had outperformed on more than one occasion, the girl I was insatiably in love with found a new guy, and a death in the family caused more family tension than what you'd find on "Game of Thrones." As this was all happening, I had two thoughts on my mind: how excited I was for "Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens" and "Hmmm... I have a lot of free time on my hands now." Sure, I was a little empty and maintained consistent stress, but the realization of my circumstances did not present itself to me until much later. I found myself wide awake most nights thinking...a lot. These nights of lonely thinking started taking its toll on me as these thoughts started having a physical effect on me. I stopped eating for a while and went days with a trip to the bathroom being the only excuse to get out of bed. My emotions did not catch up to me until far into the future and it terrified me. I was worried that these thoughts and feelings would worsen now that they started--spoiler alert: they did--and I could not help but feel confused as to why this was happening now. Why, during all of those aforementioned events, was I upset yet still calm enough to function? I realized that the life I lost was now fully presenting itself to me as a chapter in my life I'll never get back. The job, the girl, the family... it was all gone for good and I wasn't able to cope. After seeking help from both friends and professionals, I was feeling insecure about my inability to move on to the next stage of the grieving process. If you struggle with this transition as well, fear not. No matter what a friend tells you or what a therapist believes is the scientific reasoning your mind, it is completely okay to not feel a certain way at times as there is no set schedule or time frame to follow. You do not need to impress or please anyone, so stop beating yourself up because you can't. This is your story so take all of the time you need. You will need a solid support system, but ultimately salvation occurs from inside you. This is going to be a lengthy process and there is no need to rush it.

It isn't wrong to be alone.

Have you ever sat in a shower completely clothed? I hadn't either until I was doing it multiple times a week for no real reason. I wish I could justify it but apart from it feeling good, I really cannot explain my reasoning. Perhaps the symbolic "washing away the pain of the day" was soothing to me. Whatever the reason was, I found myself doing this quite often. I spent days worth of time in my shower, sitting, listening to music, and just being alone. A part of my brain assumed that I was giving into my depression by sitting there and that I should be ashamed of myself for not going out and doing things. While that sensation would force itself on to me in a few month's time, I wrote it off and continued my life of solitude. If you find yourself in a similar predicament, know that it is completely okay to accept this isolated loneliness. To prevent sadness from doing its job can only further the pain at a later time. This might have been the reason originally why my depression had worsened so significantly. Part of the healing process comes through the acceptance of pain and learning to work through it. Be alone from time to time. Listen to sad music that reminds you of the past every so often. Scroll through painful photos on occasion. The mind and heart need these brief reminders to work through the suffering to get to the healing. It is an unbearable pain, I know, but it does wonders. Take all precautions necessary to welcome the consequences of being alone for a bit, and then try doing something a bit productive. I would always throw clothes on the floor before submitting to an afternoon of suffering through old love letters and songs I cannot listen to anymore. After a bit of time, I forced myself to get out of bed, picked my clothes up, and became distracted by my clean room rather than the sadness I once felt. It isn't much, but it is a start to your journey.

Don't deny reconstruction.

When the realization dawns on you that you have subconsciously discovered a previously non-existent strength, energy, and perhaps even happiness, your ultimate test begins. To those uninformed or perhaps even judgmental, depression is a genuine mental illness that should be treated with sensitivity and understanding. Fortunately, like most illness', depression can be cured. All it takes is an unbelievable patience, heroic level strength, a spectacular support system, and the desire to want to get better. This reconstruction does not happen over night, however, and one must understand that. After the year long process of working hard to fix it, even I still have bad days long after. I know what you're thinking: "I don't want depression anymore yet I still have it. Your theory is invalid." Yes, I thought the same thing during my weekly tradition of waking up in the middle of the night alone, shaking, crying, and covered in my own stress induced vomit. Trust me, I've been there. It wasn't until I stepped out on to my balcony one day, realized how gorgeous the weather was, put on a happy song instead of the sad ones I had been playing on repeat for months, went for a walk, and appreciated the temporary joy I had felt during that time. Of course, that joy was almost instantly killed the second I locked the door to my empty bedroom, but tasting the briefest of joys was enough to make me want to change. I began my reconstruction process of thinking of things I am grateful for, surrounding myself with the people I love, exercising and dieting frequently, testing every ounce of courage and patience I had to deny the darkness. As hard as I fought to fix myself, the depression fought back...hard. Depression doesn't like to be ignored and that's why the struggle to overcome it can seem impossible. It took months to even establish just a simple daily pattern for myself and even longer to finally prevent depression from controlling my life. As hard as depression fights, you must fight harder. You absolutely can do it. You have suffered long enough and it has all been leading to this moment. Do not give in. You have too much to offer to the world to let your enemies win. You are capable of amazing things and when you finally believe this to be true about yourself....

Don't forget this chapter when it ends.

The time spent fixing yourself is sincere proof that you can survive anything. This chapter of your life now plays a significant role in your evolution and you must never forget it. The person you once were is now gone, replaced with a stronger, wiser, and more forgiving optimist. You did the unthinkable by facing your enemies desperately wanting to keep you down. You showed them, along with the entire planet, how uninterested you are in being enslaved. The world is yours now and you must cherish it. You fought an impossible battle for far too long to just survive; remember who you were and choose to live a new life instead. Find new hobbies, meet new people, travel to new places, apply to new job opportunities. The world is so spectacularly large and it's time to make your mark on it. There will still be some hard days ahead, but you now have given yourself the tools to endure them. Embrace the hard days when they come, but remember that you are an extraordinary individual that defied limitations. Things are going to be better for you now and I sincerely hope you enjoy the new life ahead of you. You've earned it.