Healing Is Not Linear

Healing Is Not Linear

It's a process and it does take time.
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As much as I'd like to believe that healing happens overnight, it doesn't. No amount of praying or hoping or wishing will fix all of your problems in one day or even a week, for that matter. It's time for people to understand that healing, both mental and physical, can take a lot of time. I've heard the argument "people treat mental illness different than a physical ailment because they can't actually see mental illness" and it's true. You wouldn't look at someone with a broken leg walking on crutches and tell them "just shake it off buddy, get some sleep and you'll feel better in the morning". So why, in today's society, is it still acceptable to tell someone struggling with depression to "just shake it off, you'll get over it... things can't possibly be that bad!!!" Well, the thing is that's actually not okay at all.

Every single person struggling with any form of mental illness (whether it be an eating disorder, depression, anxiety, or anything else that might not always be physically visible) deals with their illness (as well as their healing process) differently. It is unfair for anyone to assume that they know what's best for another person and even more unfair to try and downplay what someone else is going through by telling them "it's not that bad". Just stop. It's not a contest to see "oh, woe is me! my problems are so much worse than yours". It's not a cry for attention. Mental illness is real. Trying to recover from a backslide is hard to do and even harder to do when you have people constantly trying to invalidate how you feel.

It's time to end the stigma associated with mental illness. Not every depressed girl desires to be "saved by the man of her dreams" like the damsel in distress of some cheesy teen romance novel. Struggling with anxiety doesn't simply mean every single person is afraid to speak in front of a room of people (while this obviously does still occur for some people). Anxiety manifests itself in many different forms and it's not as simple as just being afraid of public speaking. For some people, anxiety can be crippling and make it difficult to even order food in a public place. If you personally struggle with this form of anxiety, you might see ordering food for yourself at Taco Bell as an accomplishment... and you should, good for you! It's not fair for anyone to try and tell you that your experience is unimportant. We all track our own progress and growth in different ways, and that's completely fine. The human experience in general is different for every single one of us, as is how we deal with our own illnesses (in any form).

Healing, whether it be from something physical or mental or even both, is not an easy 1-2-3 step system that automatically leads to 100% operating efficiency in your life. True healing is not linear. People who suffer with depression don't just wake up one day and decide "hey I suddenly don't feel like I want to die anymore!!!". Happiness is never a choice. It's not a daily decision (even though a lot of people think of it that way). Healing can take weeks or months or even years and it can have backslides along the way. You can't expect everything in your life to be perfect at every single moment because things happen (beyond your control) to disrupt the flow all the time. It's important to remember to take things one day at a time because you never know what tomorrow may bring. When you have a really strong uphill flow going for yourself on your healing journey, it can be really discouraging when you backslide. Please remember that this happens to everyone and you shouldn't let it stop you from trying. You don't have to worry about making mistakes and you don't have to worry about disappointing anyone but yourself. Worry about what's best for you. Do things that you need to do for your own healing process and most importantly, NEVER apologize for the way you choose to heal. You don't owe ANYONE an explanation for what you do to better yourself.

For those of you fortunate enough to have solid mental health on your side, please make an effort to be more understanding. I know it can be difficult to understand something like depression if you've never experienced it yourself but just try and be more open-minded when interacting with those who are struggling with it (or any other form of illness, for that matter). After all, just because someone might seem put together on the outside they could be fighting through every day just to make it out alive. Looks can be very deceiving. You never really know what demons someone else might be struggling with inside their own head.

And for those of you who are struggling with any form of mental illness: always remember that things do get better. There were several times in my life when I thought I couldn't possibly sink any lower and I didn't see the point in trying to be better but then I remembered that it was up to me to make an effort to change the things in my life that were hurting me.

You have to do whatever you can to help yourself. Cut off toxic people, stand up for yourself, change your diet, get more rest, see a therapist, or even talk to your doctor about getting medication to help with your mental illness. The first step in the healing process is admitting to yourself that you want to start this journey.

Just remember this if you ever feel discouraged:

Healing begins within.

Progress is still progress, no matter how small.

Happiness is not a choice (and don't let anyone make you feel like it is).

And please, always remember that you're not alone on this journey. So many people are right there with you, fighting to get better every day. Plus, know that there is always someone out there who cares about you.

Just as a reminder, here's a list of people/organizations that can help you along the way during the dark times and backslides that might happen along your healing journey:

Family members that you trust

Close friends

Roommates

Venting to a pet (it seems silly but it always makes me feel better)

Therapist

Talking to a priest or other church member (if you're religious)

Teachers at school that you can trust

School guidance counselor

National Suicide Prevention Hotline (available 24/7):

1-800-273-8255

National Eating Disorder Hotline (NEDA) (available Monday - Thursday from 9 AM - 9 PM and Friday from 9 AM - 5 PM):

1-800-931-2237

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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65 Truths College Students Need to Hear Right Now

Truth every college student needs to hear.
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1. The best memories are ones you actually can remember.

2. God isn’t going to ask you if you were in a top-tier sorority or fraternity at the gates.

3. You failed a test, not your life.

4. Numbers don’t define you.

5. That includes the number you see that is your grade.

6. Also, how much you weigh.

7. As well as if you are a “7/10” on a so-called “hot scale.”

8. Or if you can bench press 200 lbs. (@ all the guys at the gym, please chill.)

SEE ALSO: 7 Reminders Every College Student Needs To Hear Before The Semester Ends

9. Innocence is nothing to be ashamed of.

10. Neither are mistakes.

11. But learn from your mistakes. Mistakes can be lessons, which can be the biggest blessing.

12. Your metabolism isn’t what it used to be and that is okay.

13. You may not always understand what God is doing, but I promise He has a plan.

14. Every person you meet is battling their own struggles.

15. Life isn’t always great moments.

16. But you have to walk through the forest to get to the mountain top.

17. Your heart isn’t damaged. It is temporarily broken but it will be fixed.

18. However, the only one who can fix a broken heart is the one who created it.

19. So a cute boy or hot girl can’t put the pieces back together.

20. Neither can ice cream.

21. But ice cream can totally help.

22. Stop texting your ex. He/She is your ex for a reason.

23. Loving Jesus means loving people.

24. Loving Jesus also means loving the image of Him in the mirror you see.

25. Stop hiding your emotions. Stop crying in the bathroom or behind a locked door. You have people in your life who care about you.

26. Suicide is never the answer.

27. Breathe in, breathe out.

28. Do you feel your heart pump? Do you feel the air exiting your body? That is a sign you are here for a purpose. Your life is no mistake.

29. Just because you doubt, doesn’t mean you don’t believe in Jesus.

30. However, when walking on the water scares you, look to Jesus and keep your eyes on Him.

31. If you have the opportunity to go to school go. There are young girls around the world who would do anything to sit at the desk you are complaining about.

32. Don’t pick a career based on money.

33. However, I promise you can use any passion or gift to serve a purpose bigger than yourself if you allow yourself to give it to the One who gave it to you.

34. You don’t need pretty prayers to please God.

35. Talk to Him like you are talking to a friend.

36. Look for the good in everyone.

37. That includes the mean girl who no one likes. Chances are she is mean for a reason. Someone was once mean to her. Kill her with kindness.

38. Pray to have the Lord’s eyes. See people with love.

39. Try to have the Lord’s hands, always be reaching out to others.

40. Each morning, pray to have the Lord’s feet and go where He calls you.

41. It is a bad day, not a bad life.

SEE ALSO: What It's Like To Be A College Student In April

42. You don’t need a six-pack to find a man who loves you.

43. You need a spouse who will be able to look at you when you are 80, and wrinkly and maybe a little chunky, and you need him to love you then. If he loves you for your body and your hair, I promise he doesn’t actually love you. Looks fade, but love is eternal. Find someone who loves you like Jesus.

44. Do some squats.

45. But squat so you feel good about yourself, not to attract the opposite sex.

46. You are never too old to find a new hobby.

47. You were beautiful before someone told you.

48. If you don’t know if you are in relationship or not, leave. You deserve clarity, not insecurity.

49. You deserve friendships that are mutual.

50. The best Friday nights are spent with a puppy and food. It is okay to not always be social.

51. Stop worrying about whether your crush will text you back.

52. Stop over analyzing everything in general.

53. Pray for your future spouse.

54. However, also pray for your future bridesmaids/groomsmen. Some of the most influential people you may have in your life you may not have even met yet.

55. Storms bring strength.

56. And storms bring rainbows if you are patient and observant.

57. Stop Pinteresting your dream life and start living it.

58. The Bible is actually extremely relatable. Open it up. Read it.

59. Romans 8:28 “and we know God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” God is on your team. He wants you to have moments of celebration. He has a purpose for you greater than your bad day.

60. Never forget what Jesus did for you on that cross. When he died for you, it was painful and brutal. It was ugly. It was love. Don’t let that truth ever become numb to you no matter how many times you have heard the story.

61. There is nothing wrong with carbs.

62. Study. And don’t wait for the night before.

63. Find someone who you can look up to.

64. Also, never forget that there is always someone looking up to you. Act like someone you would want your future children to be. Act in a way that reflects wisdom.

65. Smile more, you are loved by the one who hung the stars and painted the sea. He created puppies and carbs–yet still loves you more. That is something to celebrate.

College is tough and life is hard. You are going to have moments where all you want to do is celebrate life with your best friends, but you will also have moments where you just want to lock the door, ignore everyone, and have a good cry. Never forget that your worth comes from something greater than your Biology grade, and from Someone greater that the one who broke your heart.

You aren’t too cool for Christ in college. Christ is a necessity for you in your life. He can hold your hand during your heartbreaks and failures and celebrate with you when you get the text back or a passing grade in foreign language. He loves for you and cares for you more than your sorority or fraternity ever will.

So buy your books, do your homework, but never forget when you are walking to you 8:00 a.m. you regretfully signed up for, to look up. Look at the clouds and the sky and thank your creator that in a big big world with many beautiful things, He still loves our messy hearts even more. So this one is for the boys for the King. This life is for the One who laid down His life.

I promise college is more fun when you dance with your Savior. Follow His lead and let him take you on a journey where you can find your purpose. You may not know where you are going, but you do know who you are following.

So never forget that although classes may be hard, and your metabolism may be slowing down–God is still good. He turns our ashes into beauty and our trials into our testimony. Do life with your creator and I promise you that you will have more than you need.

Romans 8:28 “And we know God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

Check out my website for more articles on self-worth <3

Twitter: gracev96

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11 Ways To Calm Your Seasonal Depression Before It Gets Out Of Hand

7. Treat yo' self...to a nap.

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It is about that time of the year when everyone is feeling sad and stressed. This can be caused by the changing of the weather, too much academic pressure as exams press nearer, and many other reasons. Everyone is affected differently and show their problems differently, but it is still a concern.

I am here to offer some words of advice to anyone who may be struggling with something in their own lives. If something applies to you, take the words I present and see how you can act on them. You never know what may speak to you in your time of struggle and stress.

Do not worry because almost everyone else is going through something as well. They may not have as dramatic of situations as yours, but at least know you are not doing this all alone.

1. Dress warmer! 

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Dress warmer with extra jackets, gloves, and a hat whenever you go outside. Even if it is only for a few minutes in-between buildings, make sure you keep warm and protected. If you do not own winter clothing, now is the time to invest in some before it becomes too late.

2. Take care of your health! 

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Keep drinking lots of water and taking lots of Vitamins. The best way to fight the flu is to try to get extra sleep whenever you can. That means you should take more naps and try to get to bed a little earlier. You do not want to get sicker than you already are, trust me.

3. Call your family...

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Maybe it is time to finally give them a call whether it be for a few minutes or an hour long video chat. Even just seeing their faces over the phone may be enough for you. It might also be that time in the school to head back home if you are able to and see them in person. I am sure they would really appreciate that surprise especially if you normally do not visit.

4. Open up to your friends! 

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Turn to the people around you who genuinely care about you. They will be able to cheer you up or at least will try to make you feel better. Start doing activities that you enjoy and that make you happier. Overall, if your attitude is positive, you will feel less sad and will be a more fun person to be around. No one likes to be surrounded by gloomy people.

5. Actually do your homework...

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Now is not the time in the semester to start to slack off on all your big projects and essays. This is the best time to actually work on them, so now you have to set up a plan that works for you. You know how you can succeed. Make a plan, and stick to it!

6. Set up an appointment with your advisor! 

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Maybe you need to try talking to an adviser at your school who can actually help. Chances are they know a fair amount about the classes you are taking and how to help you succeed. You do not have to feel overwhelmed because there are people who want to help. Turn to some people in your classes and see if they understand what they are doing at all before you start to freak out.

7. Treat yo' self...to a nap. 

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In college this is almost bound to happen. My best advice is that if you can go to bed at a reasonable time, try to go to bed. If you ever have a moment where you know you are not doing anything, take a nap. Frequent short naps can actually help you, so you may as well try to fit some into your daily routine especially if getting 4-5 hours a night of sleep seems to be your average.

8. Go DO something! 

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Go do something with people just to get yourself out there more. Ask your roommate to go get coffee with you. Ask that guy who sits in front of you to see a movie with you. Do whatever you want to do and invite others along. There are always going to be people who will want to join you; you just might have to ask around to figure it out.

9. Watch some scary movies! 

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Spooky season will be back around before you know it. It will still live on in spirit, but just know other seasons are coming around anyway. If you are really feeling nostalgic, watch some scary movies with some friends on a Friday night just to remember all the good spooky times.

10. Break out the Christmas music! 

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The season I look forward to most of all is just around the corner. Soon enough all the radio stations will be playing carols, all the stores will have trees scattered around the entrances, and cars will be driving slowly through neighborhoods just to look at all the lights on each house. It will be here before you know it, so just always be ready.

11. Look forward to Christmas break!

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This is closer than you may realize, so just hang in there for these last few weeks. You will finally be able to relax and not have to think about school or exams. First you have to get to the end of the semester, so just stay focused on exams for now. The fun will come later.

No matter what you may be struggling with, you are not alone this cold season of problems. Find those people around you who will be able to help you the most. You got this!!

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