Dear Little Me,
Now that I am almost 20 years old, it is crazy to see how far you have come. Over the past years I have learned a lot and I wish I knew these things when everything was going on.
I have learned to come to terms with being adopted. You should have ignored what everyone was saying about how you weren't loved and that is why you were given up. You didn't need to let people get to you like that. But it is okay, you didn't know any better. I learned a lot about the story of how you became adopted and if you knew you would be happy. I have learned to cherish every day and to be grateful for it all.
When you grow older you will fight with your parents. You will say you hate them and scream and cry but they will always be there for you. They will be your number one supporters and will do everything they possibly can to help you along the way. Make sure you tell them how much you love them and appreciate them.
Your first breakup happened. You made it out okay! You have learned from it and you had the best support in the world. Your family friends, your best friends, and your entire family. You have a new boyfriend now.
Speaking of family, you have grown very close to them. They are always there for you and love you no matter what. I know you love them back because I do. You have grown extremely close to your cousins and they love you (but you knew that).
Your family friends are amazing. They have been with you through it all. Your surgeries and sicknesses and everything else. Be grateful for them they love you. You have grown apart at one point but as you get older you get close again.
Your surgeries will be successful and you will no longer deal with sinus infections! You will have two sinus surgeries and your tonsils out. Don't listen to dad, you need your wisdom teeth out!
You have lost many people along the way. They are all looking down on you everyday and they will be for the rest of your life. I know it's hard but you will get through this. You think about them every day but it will be okay.
School gets harder! All those nights mom pushed us to study study study paid off. You got into your dream school! You weren't happy there and that is OK you really tried your best. We are happy now.
You don't play sports anymore but we do play guitar! We started learning when we were 14, nearly six years ago. Crazy.
Anxiety has become a major issue for you but we have been overcoming it. We are not letting it get the best of us. I work hard everyday to not let it get to me and I promise it will benefit us both. It is OK. It is OK to have anxiety and panic attacks but we are doing really well. I am proud of how far where we have come in the past year. We have so many more to come.
I have learned a lot in the past 20 years. I wish you knew all that I know now. We learn more everyday. Don't worry you will get there one day too. There is so much more that I wanted to say but I didn't. Maybe I'll write you again one day. If I could give you one piece of advice it would be to keep living day by day. The past is in the past and tomorrow isn't something to be worried about. We have done amazing things and I know we will keep doing them.
Love Always,
Your 20-Year-Old Self
