Recently, I've been on quite a few dates with different guys I've been talking to. Some of them have gone well, and others have been miserable failures. As someone who has jumped from relationship to relationship, taking the time to actually date has been a good experience for me. It's helped me find qualities I like, those I don't, what I need from a significant other, and what I can do without. What I really noticed was that it was the little things that made or broke those dates, and made me aware of the things guys around me were doing that made me more interested in them.
MAKE: Ask me questions
I loved when guys wanted to know more about me without being smothering. Please don't ask me questions about previous relationships or how "far" I've gone on the first date. Please do ask me about my favorite music, my hobbies, and what I do in my free time.
BREAK: Canceled plans
I understand one or two canceled plans, but when I make an effort to hang out with you and you flake out on me multiple times, I'm going to lose interest very fast.
MAKE: Umbrellas and doors
Okay, I'm a bit of a romantic. I love when guys offer to hold umbrellas for me or open doors for me. If you hold an umbrella for me or scrape the snow from my car for me, I'm going to be incredibly grateful. I think it is one of the kindest gestures from a guy.
BREAK: Unnecessary physical contact
If you keep touching me on the first date, especially my shoulders or my thighs, you are going to make me uncomfortable. I'm not a person who is down for hookups, and if you keep touching me without my permission you will make me anxious and uninterested. You can give me a hug, a kiss on the cheek, maybe even a peck on the lips, but I do not appreciate someone touching all over me on the first date, or even the first few dates.
MAKE: Laughter
I love guys who make me laugh. I have a bit of an odd sense of humor and definitely love a good laugh. If you can make me laugh, and especially if you somehow get me laughing hard enough to achieve my weird "pixie" laugh, then, you sir, have definitely made yourself stand out in my book.
MAKE: Passionate
I find it incredibly sexy for guys to be smart. You don't have to be a physicist or a doctor, but I want a guy who is passionate about something. If you know cars inside and out, the principles of operating a democratic society, computer design, music, or the inner workings of the muscular systems of various animals- that is attractive to me. I have my passions and my goals and I want someone just as driven as I am.
BREAK: Unmotivated
Few things attract me like someone who is organized and has goals. I know that I want to go to vet school and that I plan to be involved in my community of operation to educate people and provide resources. I don't do well in relationships with people who have no plans. I've tried before, and I just don't work well with people who don't work hard or just don't care. I also really like guys who are fit- muscles are a definite bonus.
BREAK: Can't deal with my introversion
I'm a really shy person when it comes to new things. I get very easily anxious around new people and in new places. I know my limits, and I know there are some things I simply cannot handle. I may want to push myself, but I need someone to understand that I may not be able to do everything, and sometimes I need to just walk away from a situation or leave a place. Please don't ever make a big deal out it. I know its not convenient and I know it can be disappointing. Trust me, I'm probably already beating myself up.
MAKE: CUDDLES CUDDLES CUDDLES
I'm a cuddle bug. I love to cuddle. I love to cuddle up and watch movies and share fluffy blankets. Seriously, easiest way to my heart is cuddles. I love curling up with someone because it feels safe and it is intimate in a different sense than sex. It's closeness and enjoying of company. It's calm and comforting.
Right now, I'm navigating the single, dating waters. Who knows how long I'll be here. At least I have a better idea now on what works and what doesn't.
