If You Can't Date Me Via FaceTime Now, You Can't Have My Love Later

Let me paint the picture: I'm an almost-20-year-old gal looking for love while in college.

I enjoy reading, cute VSCO girl inspired coffee dates, and truly getting to know new people. I'm pretty "typical." Therefore, I feel the need to share the struggle I've faced because I'm sure plenty of you have faced it too. This grand struggle is the fact that most guys I have "met" on dating sites like Bumble don't want to use this time in the house to seriously get to know each other. Like, at all WHATSOEVER. I find the vast majority of guys, much like in our pre-pandemic world, want to swing by my place and "get to know me" for 20 minutes or so before they scream, "gotta blast!" like Jimmy Neutron. Nevermind the fact that they're throwing caution and safety into the wind by attempting to hook up with a girl they don't know during stay-at-home orders, at the end of the day it's just really a bummer.

But, here's by far the most disappointing situation of all. For the sake of this story (and his privacy), we'll refer to my leading man as "Charter." Charter and I spoke for the entirety of July (which is a LONG time in terms of interacting on a dating app). Just from our text convos, I could tell he was sweet and utterly intelligent. Plus, he was quite the looker... safe to say I was a happy girl. We shared our amazement about the psychodynamic theory, our love of anything sweet, the service projects we did in high school — practically anything and everything under the sun. Honestly, a few weeks in I felt as if Mary Wells had taken the words out of my mouth. He was "MY guy." LOL.

Yet, in all seriousness, it truly felt like we were on the same wavelength. Sadly, our frequency ended there.

At this point, he was very adamant about us meeting and hanging out in-person; and not in the 'Netflix and chill' way. No. He meant in the 'let me buy you dinner, then walk down the pier' way. It was so sweet, yet so painstakingly devastating. After all, as an advocate of wearing your mask and staying at home, I couldn't allow myself to step even one foot out my door for something so... unnecessary? Of course, I proposed we FaceTime, Zoom, etc. You know, just suggested we utilize one of the many platforms we have for that sort of thing. Then, much like the Gap brand, he dropped a bomb on me. Charter had kindly let me know he wasn't interested in being "FaceTime friends." He wanted a real relationship, one that happened in-person, "IRL." I never cared to remind him how we met, but I did seriously wonder if he considered it. One of the reasons I enjoyed chatting with him was his "gotta live life while you have it" take on things. But, I do think safety outshines personal wants during this trying time for everyone across the world. So, this uber long story short, I declined his offer to go out.

Afterward, he did his little, "any dude would be happy to have you" speech, then we parted ways and haven't messaged since.

I have noticed recently that we live in a very, "I want it now" world. Of course, we all want what we want, when we want it. Yet, with how advanced the internet is now, we have gratification right at our fingertips. My generation (Gen Z) have never had to wait. Like, actually wait for anything or anyone. If it's not delivered when we want it, much like grumpy toddlers, we don't want it. This is alarming to me. In a way, this failed dating encounter helped me to realize why people just can't seem to wear masks, stay home, etc.

It's all about immediate gratification. As humans, it's only natural that we want to feel good, all the time. But, I feel we're starting to bypass what exactly is the opportunity cost of today's pleasure. In this case, FaceTiming now might ensure there are people left we can make memories with later. Just think about it: actually staying put a few months could possibly make this nightmare of a pandemic go away. In the U.S. alone, there have been just over 5 million cases confirmed. This craziness seems to only worsen the more we mingle with each other.

According to many, 2020 has BEEN canceled. However, I disagree. Let's use this year, and all this extra alone time, to work on ourselves. Whether that's starting your fitness journey or studying more, this year is blessing us with time. Yet, it's up to us to use it safely and wisely! I may not find my Prince Charming during this quarantine, but I will practice safety and come out of this pandemic ten times wiser.

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