I hate when people tell me cyber bullying isn’t real. People say “why can’t people just turn off their screen? Then it goes away and won’t bother them anymore.” I don’t think they realize that the Internet is forever because if they did, then they would realize the impact that harmful words can have or that just because the victim personally cannot see the bullying, other people can. It doesn’t go away once I power off my computer or delete a text. That picture, that tweet, that anything will be online for everyone to see, to share, retweet and comment forever.

Why not just delete your social media account? Then they can’t get to you anymore? A bully isn’t just going to stop just because their victim deactivated their Facebook. They will find a new medium to harass and degrade their victim.

In a world where information can be shared with in a matter of seconds and viewed by thousands, the power of bullies has increased and the damage they are able to inflict has exploded. Before the internet, bullying was confined to the school yard. Victims were able to go home and have a safe space. Now, with cyberbullying, there are no safe spaces. The harassment is 24/7. And worse, the humiliation is not confined to the 30 or so people in your classroom. The internet allows bullies to embarrass their victims on a world stage. Worse, bullies are now granted anonymity, which gives them more confidence and increases their cruelty.

I see stories all the time of girls who are shamed or mocked on social media and the pain of being publicly humiliated was too much. Their private insecurities, or moments they would much rather forget forever, are immortalized on the internet. They went to school and weren’t able to look anyone in the eyes because they are scared everyone had seen what was said about them online. Every sideways glance felt like judgement, every whisper was more criticism, everyone knew. They can never escape the constant feeling of being judge or ridiculed.

When I was in seventh grade, a girl who I sat next to in band class sent out a texting forward to everyone in our grade. In summary, the text said that if you wanted [me] to be hit by a car, then forward this to 10 of your friends. I didn’t ever personally see this message, but to say it has had an effect on me, would be a gross understatement. Someone wanted me dead. Others agreed and forwarded it to others to see. My classmates didn’t think I was good enough to be on this earth. I never wanted to go to school or even leave my house. I ate my lunches in my math teacher’s classroom and when she wasn’t there, a bathroom stall.

Fortunately, for me, I have wonderful parents who were able to step in and take my defense. I was called into the principal’s office one day and the girl was there. We were supposed to have a mediating session. I was asked if I had any questions for her and I only had one: “Why?” She couldn’t give me an answer, she said she didn’t know why she did it. I still don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse about the situation, but I’ve moved on. I still think about it because cyberbullying did and still has an effect on me. It has shaped the kind of person I have become. I am more cautious with who I trust and don’t like to speak up.

Cyber bullying is real. It doesn’t go away when the screen turns off, and it needs to be deleted.