You've heard it said time and time again: toxic people have no place in your life. You should cut them out for your own good. But even if you can acknowledge and understand that, you still might not have any clue as to HOW you're supposed to cut people out of your life. If you're like me - trying to avoid hurting people's feelings by any means necessary - it can be difficult and frustrating knowing there are toxic people in your life and having no clue how to get rid of them! This is especially true when the toxic person is someone you care about, but just can't be friends with right now.
Here are some tips I've learned over the years on cutting toxic people out of your life:1. Assess the situation
Do you need/want this person out of your life because things got a
little tough and you just don't know how to resolve conflict? If so, you
probably need to work on some valuable life skills and learn how to
work through difficult situations, which is a lesson for another time.
But if you realize that someone in your life is harming you mentally and
emotionally, it's probably time to split.
2. Find the right time
This suggestion can be a killer because, if you're a conflict-avoider like myself, there's no good time to have a difficult, uncomfortable conversation. However, some times are better than others. Once you're sure removing this person from your life is the right thing to do and you've decided how you're going to approach them, make sure you have their undivided attention and talk things through with a calm and even temper.
3. Say the right things
It's
just about impossible to communicate exactly what is in your head out
loud, but it's important to have a few key points that you want to get
across. Don't be vicious and don't point out their faults as a
justification for cutting them out of your life. Even you're upset
because this person has wronged you, try your best to come from a place
of kindness and understanding. Explain what's really going on: you need a
safe/comfortable environment and you can't have that with them in your
life.
4. Know it won't be perfect
You'll probably hurt them in some unavoidable way, which is highly unfortunate, but it's a part of life. Things might not go down smoothly but at the end of the day you will probably feel safer, more comfortable, and relieved after the conversation is over. Remember, unavoidably hurting someone else in an effort to take care of yourself is okay and doesn't make you a bad person. It just makes you someone who respects themselves and what they need.
