Maintaining some relationships comes at a price, but friendship and love should never be for sale. At some point in time, everyone has wondered whether or not they were being used by a boyfriend, girlfriend, or friend. Often, it's hard to realize that you are being used. It's even harder to accept it.
I have been deceived, and I have been used. I personally know that this situation is mentally degrading. I had a string of boyfriends who used me for various situations, and being with them were some of the lowest moments of my life. I became insecure, and I felt worthless.
These types of relationships aren't just harmful; they're abusive.
There are several different reasons why someone would use you: money, sex, ego-boost. However, there are universal signs that someone in your life is abusing you.
1. Your relationship is inconsistent.
One minute you’re having the time of your life with this person, and suddenly, you haven’t spoken for a week. Then, just as suddenly, they pop back, asking you for another favor.
2. Your conversations are one-sided.
They have a problem, and you have to figure out a way to solve it. As soon as you start explaining the struggles you have in life, the conversation slows to a crawl.
3. Conversations usually start and end about one subject.
Whether it’s a friend complaining about her appearance, or a boy pushing you to have sex, conversations revolve around one particular topic. These conversations are more frequent than you'd like to admit, and often it goes along with number 6.
4. You’re unsupported in your life.
You’ll be there every step of the way if they ask you to, but they have a thousand excuses whenever you want them to support you.
5. When you’re around others, the person’s attitude changes.
There's a noticeable change in their attitude. Often, they're ignoring you and having fun or begging you to leave.
6. If you don’t do something they ask you to, they get moody and resentful.
And they're always asking for something.
7. You don’t really know their friends.
You may have met some of them at some point—you think his name is Mike?—but you’ve never actually had quality time with them or gone past awkward small talk.
Those are the 7 most common signs that I have seen throughout every relationship I had where I was used. I hope that you've read this and realized that you don't have this kind of relationship, but if you see similarities between this list and the situation you're in, don't be afraid to see the truth.
Sometimes, the person using you doesn't realize what they're doing or that they're hurting you. Don't be afraid to approach them with how you feel. Having to courage to say something could begin to mend the relationship. However, there is always the chance that there will be no change. Trust me, you'll be better off without them.
