Depression is nothing but a monster, temporary taking over your life and your happiness. I was in eighth grade, and at age thirteen I was having trouble adapting to middle school and the drama that comes with it. However, I consider myself lucky that I was diagnosed and treated with depression at such a young age. I knew something was wrong when I went from the happy go lucky girl I was to sleeping in bed all day, crying all the time for no reason, feeling worthless, and not understanding what had happened to me. I was a completely different person. Staying in school was by far the hardest thing. I felt like I was constantly being judged as my confidence had completely diminished. I didn't know who I was anymore. Why was my life being taken away from me? Where's the 13-year-old fun and excited teenager that my parents had expected? She was gone. She was lifeless. Her physical was here, but mentally, she was lost in her own darkness, her own personal hell.
Easily one of the most frustrating aspects of depression is that many think that it's just a "mental thing" when the truth is, it's so much more. Depression is a chemical imbalance of serotonin in the brain. Serotonin controls an individuals mood, well-being and happiness. There are two types of depression, situational and clinical. Situational depression usually results from a death, breakup or a tragic event that has occurred in an individuals lifetime. Clinical depression on the other hand is a more serious form of depression, and the cause of it is unknown to this day. Usually, factors such as a combination of genes along with changes in the balance of hormones have been known to trigger clinical depression.
From first hand experience, clinical depression feels like your sad and crying all the time for no apparent reason. You feel sad and helpless, even though things are going great in life. You sit in your room and wonder why your crying, because everything in your life is going just fine. The feeling of depression is a terrible feeling in your chest. Your chest hurts, but not in a painful way. Your chest feels very heavy and sad. Eventually, that feeling in your chest travels to your head, as you stare into the sky and feel nothing but hopelessness. You feel as if nothing is good anymore, the world is a sad place and that nothing can make you happy. Absolutely nothing. You either loose your appetite or you gain a significant amount of weight. You sleep all day or you don't sleep it all. It feels like your a zombie, just making your way through life. Your there as a physical person, but mentally, your gone and you constantly feel numb. After a few months you think to yourself, "What's the point anymore? I feel so worthless. Why am I even alive?"
You may contemplate suicide, you may even develop a plan because you think that things are never going to get better. But can I let you in on a secret? Things do get better, even when you don't expect them to.
After a few months of excessive anxiety, my parents were worried about me and decided to take me to a therapist. This therapist just happened to change my life. She introduced me to a few natural ways to help with my depression and anxiety. Some examples were foods that help boost your serotonin, such as strawberries and pineapples. Exercise is huge, even a simple walk around the neighborhood would help me. Another technique was deep breathing, in through the nose and out thought the mouth was a mechanism that helped calm my depression and anxiety. These techniques slightly helped. However, after some time, I continued to feel depressed and went back back to my therapist for more help.
This time, I was put an anti-depressants. I am not the biggest fan of pills, but they were the solution that made who I am today: happy.
To the individuals who were able to conquer their depression without anti-depressants, I envy you because that is not an easy hurdle to jump over. However, we also have to consider that depression comes in three different forms: mild, moderate and severe. I fell somewhere in between the moderate, severe depression and anxiety, so anti-depressants for me were worth a try. I can safely say that without a doubt, they changed my life. Anti-depressants restore the abnormal amount of serotonin in your brain, making it so that your happiness and mood is at the a normal chemical level.
After a few months, I was a completely different person. I started to actually look forward to going to school, made efforts to hangout with friends, I started to put a little bit of effort into my appearance, and for the first time in a long time, I had a smile on a face, a real one that is. I started to enjoy life again, as I looked forward to the opportunities that lied ahead of me. I started to look forward to eating, waking up in the morning and getting through each day without hating who I was and my life. I had been saved in so many ways and nothing could ever make me go back to that ever so dark place in my life.
For those of you that have depression, I can't stress to you that you are not alone and that you never will be. This is because depression is so incredibly common. So common, that nearly 6.7 percent of the U.S. population has depression and that's roughly about 14.8 million adults. It's also important to understand that depression is not a setback in life. Yes, it may be a setback when you are first diagnosed, but once you find your proper solution for you, you can manage depression like a piece of cake. Depression is also not an excuse because you can live a life and do the things that anyone else can with the disorder. You are no different then anyone else. Remember that.
The ones with depression may struggle at times, but we can only be grateful for the solutions that are offered to us. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I can't stress that enough. Also, look at the bright side, you can get a service dog, making it so that you can bring a dog with you wherever you want, even in places where dogs are restricted. Now that's something to be excited about.
Depression is a flaw in chemistry, not character.
Stay forever strong.
