There are a lot of couples who bicker and argue. And sometimes these arguments get heated and words are said that hurt the other. I'm putting emphasis on the word ALOT here. If you feel that you are that one couple who bickers all the time and no one will understand or relate to you believe me, you are not alone.
Ok now that I have thrown that out there let's just dive into how we can work to not necessarily fix the bickering, but to grow as a couple in a positive way. And that is to fully hear each other out.
And to hear each other out there are a couple rules to think about...
Rule #1. Don't Judge Them
When your significant other feels safe enough to talk with you and tell you what's going on, take pride in that. They trust you so don't judge them because they want to talk. It's not just another conversation.
Rule #2. Be Present
Be there.Don't just stay silent and close yourself off from them. ACTUALLY LISTEN!
Rule #3. Don't be thinking about your next move or response.
To be fully present with them and to actually hear them out you need to HEAR THEM. Take in what the yare saying. And then take a moment to digest. After they are done speaking and you've taken a moment to take it all in and breathe, then and ONLY then you should respond.
Rule #4. Know When It's Time To Take A Breath.
Not every argument can be won, nor should it ever become a competition. And not every argument ends with an instant compromise. And sometimes the best thing you both can do for your relationship in that moment when things are way too heated is to tell each other that you need some breathing room.
And let me just be clear here...THIS IS NOT A BREAK! No Ross and Rachel here! Sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away for a couple hours and collect your thoughts without the pressure to respond.
Do not take this time to pick the bottle of alcohol or go out to the bar with your girls or boys to "blow off steam". That's not what this is for. Take this time to let you feel your emotions for ten minutes and then remember what is important to you. And what is worth fighting for.
Sometimes it can feel that you bicker with your significant other far more than the usual couple. But I'm going to let you in on a little secret, sometimes I feel that we bicker a lot in our own relationship. And yes sometimes they can turn into arguments. But part of a relationship is learning how to work together and learn each other's styles. Not fashion styles, but how each person handles stressful situations and conflict.
Each person is different and that's ok!
There is power in hearing each other out. This goes BOTH ways! Good luck to you my beautiful readers!
