In my semi-humble opinion, virginity is just a social construct that the media, organized religions and our peers continuously modify. People once deemed “maidenhood” the most important feature of a bride, and if yee sex her and she not bleed, she is dirty. Meanwhile, guys could go mount different women as often as they mounted their steeds for a trot. Times have changed, and so should the stigma of virginity. I have seen girls and guys wound themselves or others, physically and emotionally, in the pursuit of annihilating their virginity. I have also seen Christians and other religions persecuted because they were taught that premarital sex is a no-no. As someone who chases faith, wants to better understand herself and desires to live in a more tolerant society, I think emphasis placed on virginity needs to go bye-bye.
1. Virginity does not exist in the scientific sense.
The hymen (that virginal indicator) is not a sheath in the vagina; it more closely resembles an arch and is pretty darn resilient. If you tear that sucker, it is not your virginity lacking, it is a lack of lubrication or *cough* skill. Check out the book "Come As You Are" by Emily Nagoski; it teaches you the things Sex Ed. should have in high school.
2. If you were told by a potential partner that the orgasm will last "fo' days" to convince you to sleep with them,
then I am going to burst your bubble by telling you that sensations differ from person to person, and you will be lucky, men and women alike, to go beyond 30 seconds of orgasmic pleasure, or to orgasm from traditional sex at all.
3. It is quite possible to get attached to a partner emotionally.
For those of you virgins avoiding sex for this reason, your logic is valid (even if it was not, your choice should still be respected); only you know what you are emotionally ready to handle.
4. The connotation of virginity differs from person to person.
Be it oral, vaginal, anal, whatever, it is up to you what you classify yourself as when contemplating sexy time with new partners. However: If you are fairly active, have the decency to get tested; it is definitely not fair to spread things while having said sexy times.
5. Not just sexually active people take birth control.
Periods and acne are a thing, as are precautionary measures; that being said, birth control does not signify your desire to be sexually active.
6. Your religion is your religion.
Follow it as closely as you wish, but have the courtesy to not thrust your anti- (or pro-) sex beliefs unto the rest of the world.
7. Knowing what you know by reading number 6,
do not be a raging butt-nugget by labeling someone a prude or goody-goody because they choose not to have sex due to religious beliefs.
8. Sex should not be a taboo thing.
It is how you were created, either through the vaginal act of your parents, some masturbated donation or another act of science. *Poof!* out of thin air you did not...
9. Sex does not make you any more or less of a person.
It is a normal deed that most people partake in at some point in life. Even then, if you never do, that is your perfectly normal choice.
10. That Band-Aid analogy from Sex Ed. is a load of crap.
Having sex does not make you dirty and unworthy of love. Any physical residue can be addressed with some good hygiene, and as for the love? Everyone needs/deserves it.
11. Sex is not a burden you must bear for the relationship you're in.
Get out of it now if your partner deems it so. You do not need that sort of loser in your life.
12. Just because your best friend is not a virgin does not mean you have to be as well.
It is not a competition. We are all ready to roll in the sheets on our own time.
13. You have every right to want to be in love with the first person you sleep with.
While scientifically for procreation, sexual activity is romantically linked to deeper connections. Choose what is right for you. #waitin'
14. Just because you are sensual does not mean you wish to be sexually active.
Sensuality is not the world's invitation to sexuality; virgins are allowed to be bodily aware.
15. Not all college students have sex.
Please, back up and read that one more time before moving on to the next sentence. OK ... whether you are doing the deed or not, own it. If you are doing you, why should you be ashamed of your decisions? Honestly. #iamavirginsowhat?
16. Guys and girls alike can be virgins.
Not having sex does not make you any less of a man or woman, and the same is to be said for those who do have it. Double standards can go to Hell.
17. "Slut" is not a word for "non-virgins."
It is also not something we call virgins who "do other stuff." Slut is a word we save for people who cheat. End of story.
18. Pressuring a virgin to have sex is not a nice thing to do.
Those that get pressured should never be afraid to say no ... and possibly slap that immature weasel, but hey, you do you boo.
19. And lastly ... virginity is not a prize to be gained or lost.
If you think "taking" someone's or "losing" your own warrants a special award, you're wrong. Treat sexual activities as the wonderful lifetime moments they are, not the dinky trophy you get in elementary school sports for simply participating.
To everybody reading this: I hope you realize you are worth far more than whatever society says you are based upon its definition of virginity and consequential classifications of purity. You will always be pure if you stay true to yourself.
