I realize the title itself may be somewhat too serious—or something that might seem dour, but please, don't fret—this is meant to be more informative and somewhat of a self-deprecation of a college student that does suffer from (or is plagued by—whichever is suitable) several mental disorders, and more of how one student could even function at an institute of education.

I finished my first two years of my college education at a much smaller campus of Penn State—a satellite campus—so I was still at home, where I could be under good supervision of my mental psyche, and not have to worry about the college experience becoming too overwhelming. Now that I am starting my Junior year at State College, it has been much difficult to keep my disorders at bay. Not all of my disorders are as severe as the other, but I feel anyone who experiences these mental illnesses can easily relate as to how hard it can be to function as a productive college student while struggling to maintain any semblance of sanity with some of these mental illnesses.

In will split my story into two pieces. In part one, I will discuss my anxiety disorder and my obsession-compulsive disorder. In part two, I will divulge upon my bipolar disorder and clinical depression. My main point is to show students what it is like to have these disorders, and to relate and help anyone who may be going through a similar situation.

First, let's shed some light on what obsessive-compulsive disorder (O.C.D) is. You may hear people use the term in a very broad, nonchalant sense. "I'm super OCD!" they may say to you, in order to describe some action they do repeatedly. In actuality, O.C.D. is more than just doing things in a compulsive manner; think of it in terms of little rituals, and the obsession of repeating those rituals that help treat any anxiety you have. For example: I generally have a fear that my door is unlocked, when really, I just locked it three seconds ago. So every day when I leave my dorm, I make sure to lock my door three times (I feel my roommate is not appreciating that habit). Or here's a fun one: I have a set of rules and repetition of actions in which I eat my subway sandwich. 1) I take one bite from the sandwich, 2) I eat two pieces of chips (Doritos, preferably), and 3) Take a sip from my drink.

Just imagine a person repeating those three steps over and over to lessen their anxiety and follow a set of rules. That may not be the Oxford definition of O.C.D., but in a sense, obsessive-compulsion is having unsound fears or thoughts that lead to anxiety and distress in someone unless they perform a set of rituals or abide some rules to not allow the anxiety to kick in.

In terms of moving out, college is certainly the biggest disruption of those rules and rituals. It may not seem like it, but think of it: you're a scared college student that is being engulfed into one of the biggest institutes in the United States, and everything you do must be adjusted to a much bigger picture. One ritual that has been adjusted is handshakes. That's right, I'm one of those people—I have a very strong fear of germs, but more so the paranoia of touching someone's hand, in which, I do not know where that hand has been. If you see a a nervous male student constantly washing his hands twenty times a day, that is bound to be me. It is especially hard considering my diet. Now that I, like many others, do not have the luxury of home-cooked meals, it has been considerably difficult to find a good way to eat healthy, but to a point that I can be comfortable. It is hard to eat new foods, when I have a disturbed fear of being sick from it. So I am a very boring person when it comes to the occasional dinner at the downtown McDonald's.

There is a stigma to this particular disorder, where I feel it has been mutilated and broken to the essential of doing something repeatedly, where some inane comment about someone being O.C.D. about something does rub me off the wrong way. While it is not the worst of the disorders, it does interfere with life in a big way. There is a certain paranoia or fear of not following a certain regiment of rules that could trigger a bad anxiety attack.

Oh, beautiful anxiety...what a good segue.

The second disorder is social anxiety. No, not being awkward, but being afraid of being out in the open among crowds of people. It is having an immense fear of not only being in social situations, but also being outside with big groups of people or in a crowd, where you feel you are being judged or watched. Imagine you are walking to class, and instead of staring forward, right in front of you, you decide to keep your head down enough to where you could avoid eye contact with people because you felt you were being judged by someone else's eyes. Or imagine where speaking to people and being social made you extremely uncomfortable or paranoid, where you felt afraid of every small action you would do. Yet, people with social anxiety genuinely want to be social; they want to make friends. Think of it where your heart would begin to pound, you start to sweat, your entire body shakes and trembles to where it is apparent—that is a small inkling of anxiety in a nutshell.

Social Anxiety is probably the biggest detriment to a person, especially to a college student. College is about meeting people, conversing, and making connections and life-long friendships. Well, for someone with social anxiety, it is an invitation into a meat grinder—staying cooped up in my room, and not talking with people because you are afraid of what you might say, sounds a lot better. That is another thing: the fear of talking. I have an unreasonable fear to talk to people; the grave fear of making sure to say the right thing, and having a good amount of material to talk about. As a college student, it is quite difficult to befriend people. I do try, but sometimes it becomes too overwhelming to a point where I exclude myself from human interaction. It is a phobia of being social with people or participating in social events that takes a toll on one's psyche, to the point where we can become isolated and detached from human interaction, to avoid the fear and paranoia of being supremely self-conscious.

I feel as if I have exhausted these topics to their bare essentials. Part 2 will be posted soon, but for now, I would anyone and everyone to comment if they experience these mental illnesses, their stories, and perhaps, how they can cope with it (clearly I am still in the stage of managing them).