Hello, fellow members of the worst timeline. If you’re from the Clinton president-elect dimension, please feel free to comment below on how your presumably non-eventful month has gone. For instance, how are the Biden memes doing?

For the rest of us trapped in one of the worst alternate universes, it’s been a rough ten days for basically every type of minority . We’re talking an average of 70 hate crimes a day which is downright appalling by literally any measure of human decency. So, ten days after the election, how are the voters who doomed us all moving forward?

Apparently by protesting Broadway and Starbucks.

You can't blame them for the lack of thought put into this, they're very busy people.

Somehow, the prized American tradition of dumping tea into the ocean while dressed as members of a slaughtered race has fallen to the wayside. Yet its replacement, while definitely less overtly racist, is monumentally more confusing.

Depicted: One of the earliest accounts of economic protest in the Americas. Or a frat party. Both are honored traditions involving tossing down drinks and frolicking around in racially offensive costumes.

If you’re lucky enough to have missed this controversy, the gist is that people are going to Starbucks, buying a drink that likely cost at least an hour of my wages, and then- get ready for this plot twist- telling the hapless barista that their name is Trump. Thus- here’s the kicker folks- the barista has to call out the word Trump! It’s a genius way of protesting...something! Because white people are discriminated against!

Yeah, that’s how it’s always been!

Internet media (darn leeches) has been quick to point out that patronizing establishments you don’t agree with tends to be ineffective. But hey, if they got Starbucks to change those heathen blank red cups into vaguely winter themed red cups, then what can’t conservatives, ahem, 'proud Christians' accomplish!

A more effective, if no less ridiculous protest may be the Boycott Hamilton hashtag. Vice President Elect Mike Pence attended a performance of Hamilton last night. You know, Hamilton, that hot Broadway musical, written by one of the most vocal LGBT advocates of the entertainment industry, performed in the industry most friendly to LGBT artists.

Look at this man. You trust this man.

And you know, Mike Pence, an outspoken fighter of LGBT rights and promoter of 'gay conversion therapy'. For some reason, the man was booed by the audience.

Look at this man. This man probably would've been a Death Eater. Or Palpatine's nephew. Saruman's cousin. You get the drift.

The cast maintained a professional decorum, and after the performance addressed the vice president elect directly and respectfully. The natural response of the Trump supporting community was to boycott the musical entirely for 'harassment'. The net result seems to just be people who weren't going to attend Hamilton anyway are pledging that they never will, and people who are dying to see it have a slightly better chance of getting those sold out tickets.

Since economic protest seems to be a difficult concept for Trump supporters to grasp, I suggest we offer them an example. There are dozens of ways to cut into his profits. The obvious first step is to avoid his hotels and sham universities. From there familiarize yourself with other companies that he owns, other names his products may fall under. Don't watch his shows, don't buy little bobble-heads, jokes or not. Look up your favorite businesses; where did they stand this election? Hobby Lobby endorsed Trump? Maybe you can drop by Jo-Anne's instead. Instead of New Balance shoes, consider finding other footwear.

It's small, it may not be as fun as making baristas yell stuff for you to giggle at. But it sends a quiet message of, "That's not ok". Brush up on your history, kiddos. Pick your battles.

(Again, if you're from the Clinton timeline please drop a line, we'd love to hear from you about a world with gods that are merciful.)