I chose to be a psychology major because of the immense amount of fulfillment I receive from learning about things that not only influence who we are, but at the core are who we are. For most of our educational careers we are sat in desks and asked to memorize piles of seemingly irrelevant information only to regurgitate it about a week later to prove that we “know” the information. We don’t really remember anything a month or two later, but that’s how we’re taught to learn.

I took AP Psychology in high school and though the course itself was dense and at times overwhelming because I wanted to learn everything I could, never before had I felt that what I was being taught could stick with me. I learned about the central nervous system and the interpretation of dreams, I learned about why our personalities are the way that they are and how family dynamics impact your identity throughout life.

I loved feeling like the time I was putting into a class would actually impact how I view the world. I thought perhaps the most interesting moment in that class was when we practiced self-hypnosis and I felt its effects as I deeply relaxed beyond what I had been able to in as long as I could remember. I felt a tear roll down my cheek because it felt as if I had refreshed my body and mind without even trying to.

My genetics are ridden with mental disorders, as are many individuals’ I know. I’ve encountered many people throughout my life who struggle with disorders from depression and bipolar disorders to anxiety and eating disorders. It’s disheartening to watch those you love feel inadequate and helpless.

I myself have visited therapists in times of depression and consuming anxiety but I had never deeply connected with a therapist. I didn’t find one that I thought understood what I meant when I spoke. It’s important in various forms of psychological treatments to connect with the therapist in order for the patient to make progress. Last semester I took a class called “The Psychology of Human Adjustment” and thoroughly enjoyed every lecture. This semester I have “Abnormal Psychology” and “Social Psychology”; Though both of these courses are immensely dense and require a great deal of my time each week, I remember what I read. I think about what I learn means in the real applied world. I wonder how people in my life interact with the different attributes. It took me many changes of my major to figure out what I wanted to do with my future, between journalism and art and mass communications, I learned that it’s okay to figure out that there’s things you don’t want before reaching your decision. Failures are normal, and to learn is to live.

I want to be the kind of psychologist I looked for when I was younger. I want to connect with adolescents who struggle with body image and anxiety the way that I did and be a support system for those who feel deeply alone.

I dream of graduate school. Corny and nerdy, I know. I’m happy. I’m happy I’m on an adventure toward making a difference. One day I’ll be studying clinical psychology in Boulder, Colorado and one step closer to making a difference.