The Child Of Arranged Marriage
Start writing a post

Being The Child Of An Arranged Marriage Made Me Believe In Love

Surprisingly, my parents have taught me a lot about love.


As much as I hate to admit it, when I was younger I devoured novels and media with romance as their selling points. I enjoyed reading books and watching shows that were chock full of spontaneous meet-cutes, love triangles, and flirtatious banter. But I was thoroughly confused as my expectations of romantic relationships were in direct conflict with my role models for relationships.

My parents have always been my role models in terms of a lot of things, but especially in the context of a relationship. They argue and fight just like everyone else. But they also make up and love each other. They have always been my goal for what a healthy, loving relationship should be like.

As I grew older, I had to face the possibility that their love was not a healthy partnership. People would often look at me in disgust, confusion, or both when I told them my parents had an arranged marriage, and I would be ashamed. What my peers and I didn't realize was that arranged marriages were not the same as forced marriages.

My parents had agreed to be in a relationship set up by their families and grew to love and care for each other. This was a difficult concept for my peers and for me to accept, as we were bred on Western notions of spontaneous romance. Even though I later learned that arranged marriage have significantly higher success rates than non-arranged marriages (though the reasons are debatable.) In reality, most marriages in the United States are not even spontaneous. They happen in the same way that arranged marriages do, through family or friends.

This healthy, loving marriage that I admire is anything but spontaneous.

My parents didn't meet by bumping into each other at a coffee shop or on their first day at a new school. My parents met for the first time at their wedding, almost 25 years ago. Over time, I learned to realize that's okay because love develops in different ways.

Surprisingly, my parents have taught me a lot about love. Your marriage itself can be spontaneous, even if your meeting was not. It doesn't really matter when and where you meet your significant other. What matters is that you communicate, love, respect, and support each other. And they certainly do.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Five Types Of People In Fall

From yummy pumpkin spice lattes to scary movies, fall has it all and then some.

Destination Logan County Illinois

Oh fall, the most marvelous time of year...right? Every approaches fall differently, some pumpkin spice-tastically and some not so enthusiastically. We can't all be Autumn lovers, so here are five types of people in fall. Grab a cup of hot coca, sit back, and enjoy.

Keep Reading... Show less

If you're like me, by this time of year you're over summer. The beach, the sunshine, and the heat were all great, but now we're itching for blanket scarves, football, and pumpkin spice EVERYTHING! As the new season approaches, your relationship can benefit from some old traditional dates and some new fresh ideas! Here are a couple great date ideas for you and your boo to try out this fall.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

Social Media Or Soul Media

To the generation that cares way too much about affirmation.

Emma Smith
  • This semester I am taking the ever so famous class, Writing 101. Walking into it, I had heard the horror stories about each major assignment. I have to admit, it’s not a class that I am fond of. But, major assignment #2 got me thinking, we had to create a research question based off of a topic that we are interested in.

Two weeks prior, I watched a very interesting documentary on Netflix. Miss Representation was recommended to me by one of my friends and I have to say the topic is absolutely mind blowing. Social Media and Female Body Image. How Social Media makes girls see this unnatural perfection of ‘beauty’ that really doesn’t exist. But female body image isn’t the only thing affected by social media.

Keep Reading... Show less

Sex And The Church

A letter to fellow believers.

Amanda Hayes
  • I know many of you just read that title and thought it was scandalous to see something so “risque” in the same setting as something holy. Well guess what – sex is part of that. Everyone seems to think they are separate, which makes since because most people treat them as though they are complete polar opposites. Shall we think this through?

Who created the Church body? God. Who created the body? Also God. If we know God to be the creator of all things, we cannot leave sex out of that equation. God created sex, people! Praise Him! Like all great things, the world has twisted and perverted it. The world has stained it so badly that even many church congregations see it only as stained and keep quiet about that part of God’s word. Many people know that God told Adam and Eve to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28), but a lot of people overlook the entirety of Song of Solomon. The entire book is dedicated to telling of the love and sex between man and wife. God blessed us with the gift of intimacy, one to be shared between husband and wife. Church if we teach of sex as the blessing that it is, more people will start treating it as such. If we stop viewing sex as this unspeakable act, the temptation would be lessened. With the fall of man, humans naturally desire things they should not have. So if more people speak of it with gladness and praise, and do not hide it in the darkness as if it were vile, fewer people would be drawn to it for the wrong reasons. More people would appreciate it for what it is: a gift from God.

Keep Reading... Show less

Chick-fil-A, I love you.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments