A tweet by Kehlani has been circulating around Twitter since September and I seriously could not relate to something more in my entire life.
Often times, I have been called "so strong" after the things that I have endured in my everyday life, and just like you (yes you) some of those things nearly broke me into pieces. But, hey, we wake up every day with a smile on your face, responding to "nothing, I'm totally fine! Let's get some tacos!" when asked if we are OK.
Which, by the way, MAKES IT WORSE! Need some reasons to text/call your strong bestie? I got you.
1. They won't ask you for help.
They won't, we won't. We already know that you could be going through some things too and to layer my problems on you? That's not what friends do. All in all, we're supposed to be the strong one remember- we got this. We can do it on our own.
With that said, sometimes, they really can't do it "on their own."
Even if your strong friend, needs help sorting things out too. Maybe even just a lending ear will help them get through the mess inside their head—sometimes you don't even have to talk. Just listen.
3. Mental Illness is a silent killer.
Being sick, like physically ill is easy to see and sometimes it's really hard to even cover it. But, being mentally sick is really easy to cover up—a smile, a funny joke, a laugh or two. Mentally, you never really know what sometimes is going through until they tell you, or you just ask. Most of the times, people effected by mental illness wont openly share what's going on in that moment in fear that no one will care— be that one person, prove them wrong.
4. Jokes can cover up extremely sadness
Being snarky can be a sign of "needing help." Jokes can be funny, but when it's about one self like "Ha, I could die and no one would care" is a little too deep. If you know they have a past with depression, suicidal thoughts, or anxiety just check in and make sure everything is ok!
5. No matter what they say- they are hurt by the little things.
Body language says a lot- just watch them and see how they react to the "small" things—if they are going through something deeper that may have been the only reassurance they needed to harm themselves or feel even lower.
6. And they get hurt by major life transitions too.
Check in if your friend is going through a break up, a death in the family, or a loss of anything that seems important to them. Again, they may joke about it, but seriously, take a second to let them know you're there.
7. Life is too short- check on everyone!
Sometimes you are so busy perfecting yourself or doing things for you (which, by the way is super important) that you forget to just send a text to your friends. The fear of "bothering something" is real, people.
We all have this friend, and let's face it, we'd be lost without them. This friend comes with kindness and support that is so vital in life when it's lost it feels like a different type of heartache. One day, just be that friend to them—prove them wrong, you care, you love them and most importantly you are there.
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