It's both a blessing and a curse to possess healing energy. You feel things deeply, you're selfless, and you have an innate desire to make things better. At the same time, you lose sight of your own feelings, you often get in over your head, and you feel drained by giving parts of yourself to others.
It's a blessing to be the healer of a friend group. But the healers need healing, too.
Those who go more affected by life's trials and tribulations often have a deeper understanding of their feelings and the feelings of those around them. I'm sure you can think of your designated "strong" friend. They tend to be the ones everyone goes to for advice or a shoulder to cry on. As cliché as it may sound, it's true that your vibe attracts your tribe.
As the "strong" friend myself, it is an honor to hold such a title. I feel lucky to be able to touch the lives of the ones I love, in the good times and the bad. I am grateful to have the ability to turn the negative experiences I've had into positivity.
At the same time, the one thing I wish is that I would be checked up on more often.
It's easy for healers to get caught up in how everyone else is doing. To take the blows of life one at a time, stow it away for later, and grieve in silence. I'm not complaining – I know this is how we operate. But it's also easy to feel neglected in the process.
Taking on everyone's baggage is clearly impossible. Yet, we try to anyway. Especially when tragedy touches our own lives. We've been built to be "strong," so asking for help is difficult
Check up on your "strong" friends. In fact, simply check up on all your friends. When we get lost in our day-to-day routines and annoyances, it can be easy to dump it all on everyone else. Especially our healers – the ones with all the advice and insight. Taking a minute to sit your friend down and ask how they're doing can have more of an effect than you may realize. It may come as a surprise to them, that someone is asking how they're doing for once. But it is undoubtedly a pleasant surprise.
This is not to say that healers should just simply put on a tough face, never ask for help, and wait on someone else to ask how they are doing. In fact, staying strong is heading in the opposite direction of healing. But, that extra push of a, "how are you feeling?" can speak volumes and have a lasting effect.
It's often the least suspecting people who suffer from severe mental health issues. It's often the happy ones who seem to have their lives together that are falling apart inside. Remember this, and let your friends know that they are appreciated – especially the "strong" ones.
