I have never been one to settle, ever. My perfectionist attitude has always pushed me to the ends of my wit, causing me to nitpick each and every detail of my life. This includes my school work, my handwriting, the cleanliness of my room; you get the point.

Recently, I attended a church service in which we discussed the limits and the glory of our lives. This sermon series has really challenged me mentally. It has been very hard to coax myself into believing that I do have limits and that not everything I do can be perfect, and, even if it is, it is not because of my own capabilities. Underneath it all, I have had to learn how to set some limitations for myself so that God can have all the glory. I know it sounds very selfish, but I have honestly struggled with this. To put it in perspective, imagine yourself in a group project. You have pushed yourself to plan out every detail, from the font to the slide transitions. Your partner has seemingly done nothing. The due date approaches and you present. You get an A, and so does your partner. To you it seems unfair that your peer got credit for what you physically did.

In this particular sermon, the pastor also talks about God's generosity. Often times, I think about my great-grandmother and how close she was to God. She would talk about the various miracles and gifts that God had given her. I used to be jealous of her relationship with Him. "If God is so wonderful, then why haven't I experienced the works of God like you have?" I would ask in my mind. It was so hard to fully love God when I had not experienced a monumental demonstration from Him. I was so wrong for that. I have a house. I have a job. I have two dogs that I love. I have a wonderful family and a wonderful boyfriend. All of this is monumental. I have never had to go into battle for religious freedom. I was not faced with the challenge of the Hittites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. I did not have to hang around in Israel for 40 years as a wanderer. God sent the "hornet" before me. I eat food I didn't grow. I live in a house I did not build. I wear clothes I did not sew. God's goodness and graciousness is only there for me because of God alone. Jason Durant, the pastor at Troy Church in Troy, Alabama, says that "there's an entitlement thing with us that wants to go 'Well, no, no, no, I mean, yeah, God gave it ... but I worked hard for it, too.' There's an entitlement thing in us that says, 'Well, God provided the lands and destroyed people before them, but they still had to go and do the work.' God says there's no room for that. The life that you used, and the breath that you breathed when you went to battle was breath that I gave you."

I have a busy schedule. I work a lot, and I go to school, a lot. God has never asked me to drop these things. He has never asked me to throw away my education and only follow him. Basically, I have never really had any activity to necessarily compete with my decision to really follow God. But you want to know why? That's because I never prioritize God to start with. I never sit down and file God into my rolodex of a life that says I have a sorority meeting at 8 p.m. and a shift on Tuesday at 4 p.m. I always push God to the side, assuring myself with "Oh, God is all loving. He will still be there when I get back." I am a part of a generation that looks at choices like they're the plague. If someone asks where do you want to get dinner, I say I do not care and they can pick. I am in a relationship that is going on two years. I look at us and I think, "Wow. This man is great and wonderful. I could spend my whole life with him, given the opportunity." Yet, somewhere deep in the disgusting, dark corners of my mind, I dream of meeting someone who is darn near perfect, i.e. a celebrity or a millionaire. I cannot be the only one. If I am presented with an opportunity, I never really go into it with my whole heart because of the "something better" that could be out there.

Newsflash: There is no "better" because God is best. He is all sufficient and He is way more than enough. Our hearts on our own are filthy. They are tarnished and they are not good. God makes our hearts better, however, solely because He is the very best we can ever have. He sustains us because he breathed life into each and every one of us. We are all in the hands of God. He uses us as his instruments, playing a song to the world. I saw a quote and it was essentially "I am a pencil in the hands of a mighty God who is writing a love letter to the world." Wow. How amazing it is that I have been given the number-one opportunity in this world. As a college student, my mind thinks about the future relentlessly. I think of internships and interviews, job opportunities and promotions, yet how funny it is that I already have the best job in the world: Shouting God's name to the corners of the earth.