To My Boyfriend's Ex

The thing about living in a fairly small town, the same one where my boyfriend and you, his ex live, is that I'm bound to run into you. Beyond that, even if it weren't for him, we already run in the same circles. I'm sure you think I hate you or that I can't stand you.

That couldn't be further from the truth, though. Let me tell you how I feel about you because I want to get this off my chest and also clear the air for you.

Honestly, I'm a little bit jealous of you. When I look at you, I can see what he saw (and still sees in you). You're beautiful, you have a bubbly personality, you're driven, and you're fun to be around. You also like a lot of the things he likes. I've come to know this because I do too.

So in turn, that means you and I have these things in common. So yeah, at first I was really jealous of you. You seem great. I truly mean it.

I'm thankful for you. If it weren't for his experiences with you, he wouldn't be the same person he is today. And I don't mean that in a snarky, "thanks for screwing up" way. I genuinely mean it in the most sincere way. I'm so glad he was able to go through ups and downs with you and have the times with you that he did. I hope you still cherish some of those times as he does.

That's another thing, I can tell you're great from the way he's talked about you. At first, I wondered if him speaking so highly of you was a sign he didn't care for me and didn't want to be with me.

But I now realize that it's truly just that he values the time you two spent together even though it didn't work out. I have a large amount of respect for you, and I respect the fact that he doesn't feel the need to resort to "put you down" in order to make me feel better. That's not what we're here for. There's no need for that.

Also, I'm sorry. I'll be completely honest: I'm happy things have worked out for him and me, but I am sorry to you because that means they didn't for you, and if I understand correctly, you really wanted them to. With where he and I are at now, I can't imagine the pain of losing him. So if it was anywhere near as painful for you as I imagine it would be for me, I'm sorry.

I don't expect you to want to be friends. I don't expect you to like me. I don't expect any of that.

I just hope you know I carry no ill feelings around toward you because of him. Honestly, the feelings I have toward you regarding him, are positive.

So, thank you. Maybe this whole "living in a small town and running into your boyfriend's ex" thing isn't all that bad.

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