Being a Bostonian and living in Illinois for college has definitely made me notice some differences between the two types of people from each area. There are also some questions/comments that Bostonians get asked by non-Bostonians that can get irritating after a while. Here are ten tips I’ve compiled that I hope will help you with associating with Bostonians. As a disclaimer, not every single Bostonian fits these criteria exactly, but these are some pretty general characteristics most Bostonians have.
First, don’t say, “Oh you’re from Boston? But you don’t have an accent!” because the Boston accent has largely died out. This is because it’s essentially just an English accent that evolved over the years, since Massachusetts was one of the very first of the 13 British colonies in America. Now that immigration and travel has grown exponentially over the past few decades, the exposure to other non-Bostonians has largely eliminated the Bostonian accent. In fact, many Bostonians today view Boston accents as an indication of low-class, similar to how terrible grammar suggests a person is uneducated.
Second, please don’t ask us if we pak a cas in Havad yad (what “park our cars in Harvard yard” sounds like with a Bostonian accent), because NO we do not. Parking your car in Harvard yard is pretty much the equivalent of parking your car in the middle of Central Park; you will get a $500 ticket and end up looking like a complete idiot. Although Boston does have limited parking spots, as most big cities do, no one has ever been that desperate. So definitely avoid asking us this incredibly irritating and overused question.
Third, we’re loud and it's unnessesary to tell us that because we are completely aware of it. Bostonians are generally not super sweet, demure, quiet people, traits I’ve noticed are more common in the Midwest. Confident, outgoing, expressive, competitive, fearless, and bold are words that describe us better. I can actually tend to be embarrassed and self-conscious when people point this out about me, especially when it’s said in a negative way, since I’ve been raised believing that being confident and bold are two traits that are important to have. So it helps when people just accept this rather than blatantly pointing out something about us that’s hard for us to change.
Fourth, yes, we are fans of Boston sports teams. I can’t tell you how many times people have come up to me and said, “You’re from Boston? So you’re a Bruins fan?” The first thought that will come to every Bostonian’s mind if you ask this is, “DUH. We’re from Boston, so yea, we’re gonna like Boston sports teams”. Bostonians in particular are big sports fans and have serious pride for anything even remotely Boston-related so there is no need to ask us if we root for the teams.
Fifth, never mention the whole nonsensical Tom Brady-cheated-during-the-Super-Bowl-because-of-a-deflated-football theory. Newsflash: Tom Brady is known to be the greatest quarterback in NFL history, even non-Pats fans will admit to this, so he doesn’t need to use an illegal football to win a game. I promise, if you bring up this topic, you will find yourself getting punched so hard that you’ll probably lose a few teeth.
Sixth, don’t EVER say New York is better than Boston. The two cities are completely different and comparing them is pointless. Plus, going up to someone and insulting the place they have grown up is just rude. You may find yourself being slapped across the face with a hockey stick if you say that.
Seventh, along the same lines as number four, DO NOT EVER SAY ANYTHING POSITIVE ABOUT THE YANKEES. I personally don’t despise the Yankees that much but there are a lot of Bostonians who will hate your guts if anything positive is said about the them. Just think of the word “Yankees” as the equivalent of the characters in "Harry Potter" insisting upon calling Voldemort “You-Know-Who”.
Eighth, yes, we know "Good Will Hunting". When people ask me whether I’ve seen this iconic, insanely famous, super-Bostonian movie I’m always tempted to respond with, “So if you’re from New York have you ever heard of the Chrysler Building?”
Ninth, this is more of a suggestion, but before you go to Massachusetts try practicing saying the names of places. For example, “Worchester” is pronounced like “Wuster” and Gloucester is pronounced like “Glouster.” People will probably secretly laugh at your newbie-ness unless you can pronounce things correctly. Also, Bostonians do not call Cape Cod, “Cape Cod”; it is referred to as “the Cape”.
Tenth, a lot of Bostonians will get straight to the point about what they think. If you’re being a jerk to someone we will simply say, “Leave them alone and stop acting like a jerk.” Quick and simple with no room for misunderstanding. Although it can seem like we’re really harsh and blunt at times, we’re not a mean group of people; we believe in having confidence and having the guts to stand up for ourselves and for others.
