For The Best Friend Who's Going Through Her First Break-Up
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For The Best Friend Who's Going Through Her First Breakup

Keep your chin up, you've got this.

For The Best Friend Who's Going Through Her First Breakup

Dear best friend,

Things are about to get hard. It came out of the blue. You weren't expecting it. And suddenly it feels like he's reached into your chest and just punched a hole straight through you. When you breath there will be shooting pains through your lungs, and you'll drown yourself in tears every night. When you wake in the morning, you'll sit there for five minutes, 10 minutes, 30 minutes... wondering if it is even worth to try and get up than live without the person you trusted so much. The person you had given so much too, and now suddenly seemed like they'd given so little in return.

There will be good days and bad days. Some days you won't even think about him. Some weeks you won't even think about him. You'll think you've healed, moved on, and ready for what adventure lies ahead of you. Then one day out of the blue, you'll hear his name randomly, and the whole will rip open again and you wondered if it had truly ever had left.

You can't fix yourself through not eating. You can't fix yourself by dwelling over all the little things you could have done differently, there is only forward. And coming to terms with never being in his arms again, or hearing his laugh again is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do.

You aren't broken. Do not let yourself think you are broken. Every second that passes you'll feel like you have shattered into a million pieces, but broken is not what you are. You're growing up, you're changing, and you're maturing. You're redefining yourself. You're discovering what a world is like after him, not without, but after.

And it is going to take so much time. Don't let movies and books, and even some real-life examples, fool you. This takes time to fully ever feel like yourself again. To be able to tell a story that he was in and not worry about saying his name and not worry about the pain in your chest. To not worry about seeing him in public — something I think no one will ever be OK with ever after a breakup. It will take so much time, even when you think you are ready and you start to date again. You'll chicken out, you'll think about what his friends will tell him when they find out you're dating someone else, and you'll go back to worrying about him. All about him.

And that's OK, life is a series of trial and errors. You won't wake up one morning and suddenly be OK. It is going to take you think you are OK to discovering you aren't. It will take seeing him for the first time after and not being able to even choke out a "hi." It will take time.

But, you have the most loving and supportive friends in the entire world. And all of us care about you so much. So if you're crying yourself to sleep at 3 a.m., you've always got my number to call. And you can be as open and honest with us about anything, and we will be there. We will stand by you, and we will make sure that you don't have to go through this alone. Because you aren't alone, even if it might feel like you are right now.


Your best friend

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