Almost three years ago, wow time flies, I walked into a local pizza restaurant for a job interview not knowing my life was about to change in the greatest way ever imaginable. I had just learned that my health insurance policy doesn't help cover any expenses related to my transition, so I immediately set out looking for a job. I went inside, let them know I was here, and then sat down at the first booth waiting to be called back. I did what any anxious teenager does and pulled out my phone to distract myself from the nerves that were settling in awaiting my interview.

The swinging doors that separated the kitchen from the dining room flew open and I looked up to see the most stunning, captivating, just beyond beautiful girl I had ever laid eyes upon. She walked with such grace to the soda machine where I watched her refill straws and cup lids. I couldn't look away.

Everything about her was enticing; I knew from the first glance I needed to know her. Something inside of me just clicked into place the moment I saw her and everything inside of me went "that's her." I had a friend at the time who also worked there, she had set the whole interview thing up, I texted her describing the work of art I had just seen followed by "Who is THAT!? What a babe!" "Oh, that must be Erin! She's human sunshine, you'll love her!" Oh, if I had only known the love I would one day feel for this immaculate being. If I had only known what was going to come of all of this.

I got the job. I couldn't wait to start and have the opportunity to get to know her. It disappointed me but didn't surprise me that she had a boyfriend, how could anyone pass something so pretty up? What a lucky guy. I was so nervous to finally meet her, I was only a month and a half at most on testosterone.

Did she already know I was transgender? Would that sway her opinion of me? Is that something I would have to explain? My friend was right, by the way, she was absolutely human sunshine. Being transgender was never something that ever altered our relationship. It didn't matter, it never mattered. She only ever expressed how proud of me she was. We even kept track of the peach fuzz I began to develop and she'd point out physical changes I hadn't even noticed myself. It was so refreshing to feel like I could just 'be' in my own skin without fear of judgment.

With every shared shift, we got to know more and more about each other. I loved every second of it. I loved learning new things about her, her likes and dislikes, what made her tick. I took note of it all too, how she preferred green mint chocolate chip ice cream to white, how she loved Christmas music even in the dead of summer, how she doesn't like sleeping with pillows, and how cute one specific freckle right in between her eyes was because it's a tad darker than the others. She fascinated me. In no time at all she had become my best friend.

Work wasn't even work anymore. If she was there, I wanted to be too. The busiest and most stressful shifts were the best part of my day as long as she was there. With every lame joke she cracked, every smile she threw my way, and every infectious laugh she let out I found myself falling for her. I couldn't help it, but I needed to, boyfriends suck. I didn't hate my job, but who likes working? What caught me by surprise was that I found myself staying much longer after my shift had ended and even begging coworkers to give up their shift to me just so I could spend time more time with her.

I had to take what I could get and I wanted as much as possible. I joked to all my coworkers that she and I were really the ones who were supposed to be together, but deep down I always knew it wasn't a joke. I told them all how we'd end up married one day and they'd all be invited to the wedding. She fed into it as well, and deep down I think she knew, too.

When I first started working it was the summer before my sophomore year of college, she was about to be a senior in high school. I commuted to a local university at the time, so I had the honor and privilege of watching her grow into such a strong, determined, intelligent, bright, radiant, (the list goes on and on) woman. I got to be there for her every step of the way. When she finally graduated I had never been more proud.

The summer came and went and unfortunately, so did our time together. For my junior year of college, I transferred to Bloomsburg University, an hour and a half from our hometown. Erin went to college 45 minutes in the opposite direction. With her around, it felt like I had been seeing everything in HD, but when we said our goodbyes at the end of summer it's like I lost my glasses.

We stayed in touch, as buddies do, but I was always yearning for more. Something just always kept me wanting more, she had me hooked and I couldn't explain it. But, she still had the boyfriend, so I had to keep my feelings at bay and just be the best friend. It was such torture, watching someone else do the job I should've been doing. Thinking of his lips on hers drove me mad. I tried to distract myself from her, and in the fall of my junior year, I met a girl. I knew she wasn't good for me, I knew she wasn't right for me, but I needed something to get you off my mind.

It was working, or at least, I thought it was. I was home for a weekend, October 20 to be exact, visiting my girlfriend. It was really late one night and we hadn't eaten so we decided to go to a local Denny's, about 15/20 minutes from Erin's college. The place was dead, maybe 4 tables were occupied, but when I opened the door and walked in my jaw dropped that Erin was at one of them. What were the chances! She had been sitting with 2 other girls who I was also good friends with. Our eyes locked and I started to dart my way towards her as she was jumping out of her booth to greet me. It was like a scene straight from a movie, the closer she got to me, the slower time moved, and suddenly you were jumping into my arms, so excited to see me.

After our little rendezvous, I was seated a few booths down from her with a smile glued to my face, not even listening to the speech that was getting laid into me by my girlfriend. "I wouldn't be so mad if she wasn't so pretty!" Pretty was such an understatement, and that girlfriend didn't last long. She wasn't Erin.

Fast forward to when we came home for summer in May, things were rocky with her and her boyfriend, I saw my opportunity. The first closing shift I had that summer, I was back in the office talking to my manager and I told her this would be the summer I finally got my girl. I wasn't taking no for an answer, I wouldn't have it any other way. I was about to enter my senior year of college and Lord only knows where I would end up after that. It was now or never. She and her boyfriend, finally, broke up shortly after we moved home for summer. This was it, this was my chance, the time I've been waiting for since the first time I walked into that damn pizza place.

I was persistent, I'm sure I annoyed her to no end, but I had to have her. Something inside me just kept telling me she was the one. I was an addict and she was better than any drug. She finally caved and in July I became the luckiest man alive when she agreed to be my girlfriend, though it may have been because I asked her out using Moe's as a bribe. We spent the summer attached at the hip and never once did I grow tired of her.

When fall semester rolled around, we were now 3 hours apart because she transferred to a college even farther away. The distance meant nothing to me because she means everything. Though it was hard not having my best friend by my side, we made it work. I would often make the 3 hour trip on weekends just to get as much fill of that jaw-dropping smile as I could. Here we are, we've just said goodbye again, but this time is for the last time. Only one single semester is all that separates us.

She makes my bad days good, and my good days better. When everything is chaotic, she is my calm. Nothing has ever just made perfect sense to me like she does. I know everyone will call me crazy, but she is my something special. She makes me so excited to wake up every morning and pushes me to be the best I can be. I never feel like I have to face anything alone because she's always right by my side helping me before I even have to ask.

Most importantly, she makes me forget about being transgender. Being trans, that's the only thing on the forefront of my mind every single day, a cloud of anxiety follows me wherever I go. With her, being trans is the very last thing I ever have to think about. She loved me when I couldn't love myself and taught me how to love myself even when my body is still a work in progress. With her, I'm just a man, the luckiest man. I wish I could explain it, but when you know, you just know.