Are You A Believer In The Waves Of Change?

Are You A Believer In The Waves Of Change?

“In the waves of change we find our direction.”
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I’ve always been a strong believer in this phrase; it’s one I’ve kept in my mind throughout all of my obstacles and alterations in life. I recently researched this quote, curious of the alternative point of views from others who are equally as influenced by this quote as I am, but in different ways. There were several mentions about the “proper methods” to handle the changes that are tossed into your path during the various stages of life, but what stuck out to me was the comment asking how we, as humans, handle those waves.

Personally, the questioned stumped me at first. “Those waves,” are change—and change is unpredictable, abrupt, and doesn’t always favor our side. It’s so easy to throw fits, demand answers, and grow angry when life tosses us an unwanted surprise. As for me, I was one to argue with these waves, and inspect every last variable of them. I’m a planner—I like everything set in it’s place at a specific time that I can depend on. However, when the smallest last-minute change in those plans occur, it creates a panic—a mental uproar. As unpleasant as the waves of irritation were, as I grew older, I noticed a change in my reactions.

I started to interpret the unexpected shifts as challenges, and realized all of the negative effects of dwelling on issues that were out of my hands. From petty middle school drama to the pressure and emotional strain of college, I kept reminding myself of the quote, and kept afloat among the waves. As much as I detest change, it’s necessary and wonderful; it also made me a better person. It humbled me into realizing that when I faced unwanted situations, there was a reason. I learned not to fear new interests, experiences, or the unknown.

“And I will call upon Your name, and keep my eyes above the waves.”

During the trial-and-error process of my first semester of college, these changes offered an opportunity to for me to strengthen my faith. I remember hearing a message that I felt was being spoken directly to me, and it compelled me to accept what it is. The phrase was, “when God says ‘no,’ respond with ‘thank you.’” The phrase was suggested over a temper tantrum about why your way was not given. After interpreting, I realized all the times He saved me from a far larger disaster than whatever the decline of my worldly wishes caused.

I’m familiar with the “let go and let God” phrase, but after accepting the fact that change is inevitable, I started to closely identify with other quotes and phrases encouraging just the same. I recall a particular moment I was overwhelmed with an upcoming exam, when my friend encouraged me to “try my best and let God do the rest.” As difficult as it was to accept what is, I did, and felt untroubled. I’ve become more aware of how unpredictable life really is, and trying to change what isn’t changeable is a lost cause.

My new shift in perspective has allowed me to blossom, and not think of every reroute in my life as a setback. I found a new phrase of motivation for myself instead, and propose that it will be even more beneficial than my last.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you” 1 Peter 5:7

It serves as a constant new reminder of how to be prepared to take on the weight of what’s to come, how to prepare myself for upcoming challenges, and how to live fully in the current moment. It’s not simple, but who’s to say that life was ever supposed to be?

I envision this newly discovered mindset as letting the waves knock you off your feet now and then; let yourself lose your footing and fall into the incoming wave, but don’t ever think you’re not strong enough to get back up after it rolls past.


And so it goes, right? And so it goes.
Cover Image Credit: A.R.K. Images

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The Truth About Dating A Girl With An Anxiety Disorder

She knows how annoying she can be, but she just prays you love her regardless of her flaws.

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Anxiety: A nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

The definition makes it sound really daunting. Truthfully, there is no one way to describe generalized anxiety disorder if you have it. It is hard to live with, hard to cope with and unfortunately, really hard to date with.

Girls with anxiety are different than the average girl when it comes to relationships. That's just an honest statement, no matter how much it hurts me to say it.

We need the constant reminder that you love us, even though we know in our hearts that you do. We panic when you don't answer your phone, in fear that we did something wrong. We care about your feelings when you say that we don't need to worry and we need to be a little calmer. But it's so damn hard.

It isn't easy to love someone who worries about everything 24/7. Half the time, we know we shouldn't be doing the things we do. We know we shouldn't blow up your phone or ask just one more time if you are mad at us. But we can't help it. It says it right in the definition: compulsive behavior due to excessive uneasiness.

Being with a girl with anxiety is probably downright exhausting. It's exhausting for us to have our minds constantly running and worrying. But I promise it's worth it.

We come to you with everything because you are the one person who always knows how to make us feel better. When we are happy, you are the one person we want to be happy with. We all know the constant reassurance, reminders and the same old arguments get old. It gets old to us too.

There was never a time I wanted to have a panic attack because my boyfriend wasn't answering his phone. In my head, I knew where he was because he was usually in the same three places. I knew he wasn't mad at me because I didn't do anything to make him upset. I knew how busy he was with his classes and he was probably studying and I needed to give him space. But the little voice in my head always argued, "What if you did something wrong? What if he's ignoring you because he's angry? What if he's seen your messages and calls, but no longer wants to be with you?" And then I give in. I call, I text, I cry, I panic. Only to feel even worse 10, 30 or 50 minutes later because you answer angrily, telling me what I already knew after I did what I knew I shouldn't have done.

Having anxiety is almost like having a drug addiction. You know all the things that trigger you. You know all the ways to stay away from the bad places in your mind so you don't end up relapsing. But you do anyway and it hurts worse every single time.

Dating a girl with anxiety is as hard as it gets, but she will love you like no other. She is so incredibly thankful for all the things you put up with to be with her. Because she is worried about being loved, she goes the extra mile to always remind you how much you are loved. She always asks if you are ok because she cares about the answer and knows what it's like not to be ok.

The truth is that dating anybody with anxiety is difficult, but it isn't impossible. You get back everything you put in, even though you may not realize it. Trust me, she is sorry for being the annoying, crying, worried, naggy mess and it embarrasses her because she knows better and she wants to be better for you. But please love her. Hold her, understand her, listen to her, calm her, be there for her. In your heart, you know she would turn around and do all the same things for you in a heartbeat.

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A Day In The Life Of A Socially Anxious Person

"I better lower the volume of my phone. Someone sitting next to me might hear what music I'm listening to and judge my song choice."

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According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), social anxiety disorder affects 15 million adults in the United States. It is one of the most common mental illness and yet a lot of people don't know what social anxiety disorder (SAD) exactly is and have misconceptions about it. Social anxiety is often misunderstood as shyness. However, SAD goes beyond shyness. For someone with SAD, daily social interactions can be stressful to handle because of fear of negative evaluation and embarrassment.

To eliminate misunderstandings and spread awareness about SAD, here's a picture diary of what a day in the life of a socially anxious person looks like.

8:30 a.m.

"I better hurry and switch off my alarm before my roommate wakes up. I'm afraid she might hate me for waking her up this early."

12:00 p.m.

"I know the answer to this question but I'm too scared to answer. What if it is wrong and I embarrass myself in front of everyone?"

3:00 p.m.

"I better lower the volume of my phone. Someone sitting next to me might hear what music I'm listening to and judge my song choice."

5:00 p.m.

"I better keep practicing my order in my head otherwise I might stumble upon my words and make a fool of myself."

7:00 p.m.

"I am just going to delay answering this call as I'm afraid to answer the phone. I don't know who is on the other side and am not exactly sure what to say."

10:00 p.m.

"I'd rather not sleep, as if I try to, I'll be reevaluating all the embarrassing moments of my day."

Along with these thoughts, a person suffering from SAD might also experience physical symptoms like nausea, dizziness, flushing, palpitations, shortness of breath and tightness in the chest. If your day looks anything like the picture diary above and you have been experiencing physical symptoms, do not be afraid to seek help.

According to a survey conducted by ADAA, 36% of people with social anxiety disorder report experiencing symptoms for 10 or more years before seeking help. If you are someone who is suffering from SAD, always remember that there's hope. Always seek help as social anxiety disorder is treatable through medication and therapy.

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