This week, I had an undeniably awkward encounter with my ex-boyfriend. It was so strange, sitting in silence across from someone with whom I had spent four years of my life. I was upset, but he couldn’t comfort me anymore; we just co-existed in the same space, trying to ignore the discomfort.

Despite that uncomfortable moment, it made me realize one crucial thing about life. As I sat there with him, I started the cliché “I’m happy for you and [your new girlfriend]” talk. Sure, I probably should’ve just kept my mouth shut, but I wanted to say it. Whether or not he cared, that wasn’t my concern. I just wanted to say it so that he knew that expired love doesn’t always have to turn into hate.

I think that as human beings we crave two things universally: love and happiness. So, here’s my question to you: if, on a whole, obtaining these things seem so unlikely or so difficult, why shouldn’t we be truly happy for those who have found them?

I had a hard time finding out that my ex had a new girlfriend, despite the fact that I had already been through a failed rebound relationship. I don’t think that my thoughts during that time were uncommon for exes to have when their former love finds someone new. I questioned my worth, I attacked my own image, I got unfairly comparative and put myself down. I wasn’t happy for him at first — I was jealous. Then, I opened my eyes.

They say that half of all marriages fail. That makes it so hard to believe that marriage is a successful process anymore. No, my ex didn’t marry this girl (yet?), but that’s not my point. He and I were bound to fail. We were high school sweethearts who simply grew up and apart; whether we broke up in college or got divorced 10 years later, it just wasn’t going to work. So, I found myself asking whether I really should be upset that he had found someone who was better suited for him than I was. No one wants to be inadequate or fail at making someone happy, but we were mutually inadequate for each other’s desires in life. Just because there is someone else who does make him happier than I did doesn’t mean that I can’t make anyone happy. It just means that love won! I’m happy that love wasn’t dragged through time by the two of us holding on to a relationship that went against fate. Two people found true love, and that doesn’t make me mad or sad — it gives me hope for the world.

Then, I thought about all of the depressed people in the world. People search for happiness in a variety of places — religion, exercise, food, video games, but most importantly, they search for happiness in a connection with others. People fight a lot; couples do it, friends do it, family members do it. At times, it can get depressing knowing how many people struggle to cope with the world around them. I want happiness to win, too. If my ex and his new girlfriend are happy, then good for them! That does make me truly happy. I used to love him, but we weren’t happy, and now not only are they happy, but I am too. In the year that I’ve been apart from him, I’ve seen so much of the world and gotten to experience so many things that I may not have if I had still been trying to force something that wasn’t meant to be.

People can be jealous of their exes’ new relationships, they can spend time feeling inadequate or angry, they can wish for that new relationship to fail, but those are a group of people of which I am not a part of. I think that the best thing to do after a breakup is to delete that person on social media, put old photos away, and stop contact. That relationship didn’t work, and it didn’t work for a reason. Cling on to the good things in life. It’s okay to deal with your feelings, but don’t let them overcome you. Root for love, and cheer for happiness — no matter where it is found and regardless of who finds it. And if you haven't yet, you’ll have your moment one day, too.