Recently I met this really amazing lady who I'm now in a relationship with! If you know me, I usually hate the beginnings of relationships; why? Because they can bring out some of the most awkward moments of your life, make you uncomfortable, and force you to be vulnerable. Here are the top 8 things that are the worst (but also best) about being in a new relationship.
1. First dates are awesome and awful all at once.
First dates are super exciting but also super nerve wracking. You have about 10 minutes to show this person you are not a total loser or totally self obsessed before she texts a friend begging for an escape route. First dates can feel like an interview or a downloading session of information. Starting over with someone can be intimidating because sharing enough personal information (but not too much) is hard!
2. Trying to convince her you're the sh*t without being a sh*t.
You want to show off the best parts of yourself and show them just how amazing you are! But it can be hard to let them know about all of your various accolades, achievements and aspirations without looking like you think you are the second coming of christ herself. Finding the right way to drop little truth bombs about how great you are can be some risky business!
3. Always being on your best behavior.
In a new relationship you are always minding your p's and q's. Whether this means you curse a little less, dress a little nicer, or clean your room more, you are trying to show off the best version of yourself. This is awesome and to be expected as you probably want the other person to be working just as hard to impress you, but you find yourself longing a little for that comfortability of being able to do whatever you want, when you want.
4. That first controversial conversation .
Everyone says to avoid stuff like politics and religion with new people; but if you are going to be in a relationship with someone it is probably a good idea to feel out where they stand. You will probably mention some controversial things little by little, but that first real conversation is a very diplomatic and dicy situation. Because you are dealing with this person's core values you don't want to say anything that is offensive, but you also want to make sure they know what matters to you!
5. Figuring out what makes her tick and vise versa.
When you spend a lot of time with someone, you start to learn their likes and dislikes. Maybe you always sing in the car and they HATE that. But you also lowkey want to know these things so you don't upset them. If you love singing in the car, and you HAVE to sing every car ride, you might want to ask how you can reconcile your differences. Communication is key, but you have to be intuitive and make sure you aren't accidentally stepping on someone's toes.
6. Navigating when it's okay to give them your mental health rundown.
We all have different levels of vulnerability, and what we deem to be private information. Usually mental health is something that is a huge part of your life, espicially if you have various things you struggle with. And if you do struggle with something, then you will probably want to share that with your new boo. But how soon is tooooo soon to talk about that sort of thing? You don't want to intimidate them or make them feel responsible for you in some way, and sharing what is going on in your head can be straight up scary! But if your new bae is awesome, you wont feel pressured to tell them anything and they will be supportive of you if you decide to confide in them!
7. Wanting to spend all your time with her but not wanting to suffocate her.
She is awesome, and cool, and fun, and makes you feel all the feels and you want to be around her allllllll the time. But you also don't want to come off as needy or clingy because then she might think you're, I don't know, crazy? But honestly, when did liking someone become a bad thing? If you like someone, let them know! She probably wants to hang with you just as much as you want to see her!
8. Calling her "babe" for the first time.
It doesn't have to be babe, it can be "sweetie", "love", "hon", or whatever your choice pet name is. But the first time you casually drop it in a sentence around her you have a slight moment of panic as you look up an examine every inch other her to see if she is repulsed by the idea of being your babe. And then if she doesn't exhibit signs of distress then you have to be like, "Was she just going to ignore that or is she into it?" The only way to know is to do it again and overtime it just becomes a habit.
8. "Sooo... what are we doing here exactly?"
Wow. THAT conversation. That awkward moment when you have to go out on a limb and tell the other person that you like them enough to only be with them, and support them, and chill with them, over all the other single people out there. If you are anything like me and my bae, you will avoid this conversation at all costs, and maybe even avoid talking about the topic while subtly talking about it for a solid hour. But then one of you breaks and is like, "Soooo you wanna be my girfriend???" And you try to be cool so you go, "ummm yeah! Totally." But on the inside, your heart is dancing and you are really glad she asked; 'cause thats all you've wanted since your first date.
