I understand that everything around you is moving so fast and it feels like your whole world is falling apart, but stop for one minute and BREATHE. You’ll make it through this and everything will change for the better.
I know you feel like you’re all alone and everyone surrounding you is judging you, but STOP. Don’t worry about what they think right now, think about you. You need to focus on what you think about yourself. You’re quiet and shy and you’ll admit that; but that doesn’t mean you’re hopeless. Don’t be afraid to talk to people. Everyone isn’t out to get you. You just need to be confident.
So that friend of eight years wasn’t exactly what you thought she was. You had to learn the hard way and it really hurts. Don’t let it break you, that’s what she wants. You’re so much stronger than this, you just don’t realize it yet.
Speaking of friends, they will come and go; that’s just something that you need to accept. You didn’t keep any of those friends from middle school or the first two years of high school, but you’re doing just fine. A lot of the friends you made junior and senior year of high school are still great friends. We still find time to hang out with each other and be our fun-loving goofy selves.
Remember how you had thoughts about transferring schools? You can do it. Sometimes you’re going to have to realize that familiar doesn’t equal safe. You know you’re unhappy in your current school, surrounded by people who have wronged you and hurt you. Don’t think that you’re running away because you’re not; at the end of the day you’re only doing what you believe is best for you, and in the end it’s going to be one of the best decisions you made in your teenage years.
I know how hard it was to get good grades in English class. I know how you thought you’d never be a good writer because one teacher never gave you good marks on your writing. I can promise you that your writing skills will improve and your grades on your essays and papers will get better. You’ll even find your true passion as a writer and you’ll be writing for school newspapers your senior year of high school and throughout college. It won’t be easy though, there is a lot of work ahead of you, but don’t lose your passion, and you’ll be able to do it. Seven years later and we’re still doing it right now in fact.
I know you’re already concerned about college and thinking about your future career, but don’t overstress about it. You’re going to get accepted into college and you will get your degree, but you aren’t going to have your ideal career as soon as you get your degree, in fact, you may still be a little unsure, but if you need time to figure it out, it’s fine. You are definitely not the only one who feels like this. If you need to get a different job to help you pay the bills, then do it. Just focus on getting by and still finding time to keep up with your writing.
Last, but not least, no matter how mean and cruel people can be, NEVER stop being the generous and caring person that you are right now because that’s who you are. Even after all the hardships that you will face, and the pain and emotional abuse that you have experienced, it is still who you are; and that is something you can be sure of.
With all my heart,
Your future self
