Every two minutes, someone is sexually assaulted in the United States. Less than 25 percent of these attacks will be reported to the authorities. 0.6 percent of the perpetrators will be punished for their crimes.
One in six women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Someone you know will be sexually assaulted. Someone that you care about will be attacked by another person and will suffer what so many others have before.
When that happens, the victim will be asked a number of questions: "What were you wearing?" "Were you drinking?" "Are you sure you didn't want it?"
As a white female living in the United States in a white, male-dominated culture, I can say that the majority of the time, everything is about these white males. This category has been hurting recently because of movements like Black Lives Matter or the feminist movement. Attention to the white male population is down from 100 percent to about 95 percent. Tough life.
I understand that it's "not all men," but it's enough that I have reason to be afraid. I also understand that men are victims of assault, and I'm not putting down an entire category of people.
If you don't understand what I'm talking about, here are a few examples:
1. It's 80 degrees out, I'm running in a sports bra and shorts.
Someone (guess what category) catcalls me, and I ignore him. Said white male gets upset and yells some not so nice things at me. Obviously I wore that and went running outside for any male's enjoyment, right? So it's just rude that I didn't acknowledge his compliment, right?
Or I'm training for a half marathon, and it's hot out. I am not out doing things for anyone else's enjoyment, especially not someone who thinks a catcall is a compliment.
I am not the problem.
2. A friend calls me to pick her up from a date that she went on.
A white male took her out to dinner and then asked her to watch a movie after at his place. Once they got back to his place, he attempted to make a move on her. She said, "No," that it's only the first date. He took "no" as a joke and keeps going. Somehow, she gets him to stop and leaves. He is upset and threatens her as she leaves.
Obviously since he took her on a date and paid for her food, she owes him something, right?
No means no, and that's all there is to it. It doesn't matter what she's wearing, if she's been drinking or if it "sounds like a joke." No does not mean "convince me." It means no, and that's all there is to it.
She is not the problem. I am not the problem. The problem is those who think that they are entitled to someone else's body. You are never entitled to someone else's body.
Rape is not a gray area. Either there is consent from both parties, or there isn't. If you have to convince someone, it isn't worth it.
Sheetal Tadiparty
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