To most people alcoholism is a term loosely thrown around after a weekend of overindulging, but to me it was a viscous cycle consuming my life. I don’t know how it starts, but I know its different for each addict. One drink turns into two, two turns to three and then suddenly you’ve lost count, small arguments turn into slurred insults flying around the room and the people you love become the problem. The worst part is no matter how bad you want to stop, you simply can’t. It becomes apart of you’re daily routine.

& I’m not even the addict. Some may think that the one taking the drug is the only one affected, but in all actuality they are hurting friends and family members too. They may only be physically deteriorating themselves but they have a way of affecting everyone they touch.

To the Alcoholic in my life, I love you but I hate your drinking. You have caused a wound that I fear may never heal. No child should ever feel less important than another drink. No teenager should have to look on the sideline to find you not there because another drink was more important. No young adult should toss and turn all night wondering if you’ve made it to bed. Yes, I could have not cared but I do and I always will. I hate that you chose to drink but I love you for finally stopping. I’m glad that it is over for you, I wish it was over for me. I wish I didn’t have nightmares, or days packed with anxiety. I wish that when you put down the drink it was over for all of us.

I am so proud of your sobriety but so disappointed in where it left me. I have seen you at your worst and now you are seeing me at mine.

Alcoholism is really hurting me.

& I’m not even the addict.

To the Recovering Alcoholic in my life, I am so proud of the steps you have taken to ensure a better life not only for you but for all of us who love you so much. As much as you have hurt me I was the child who had everything, exquisite trips, enough toys to fill a toy store and a roof over my head. I was a teenager who had a car to drive to school, plenty to eat and new clothes all the time. I am now a young adult who has somehow found her way. I now have my own roof over my head, my own car to drive to the University I got myself into and a good job. I place a lot of blame on you for being sick and not enough credit for the life I had and have now because of you. Even if you stumbled through life on yours, you taught me how to stand on my own two feet.