Dear Alcoholic,

Yes, I'm calling you an alcoholic and no, I don't feel bad about it. Many times I have felt bad about calling you that because I didn't want to admit to myself that you were one, but you are. An alcoholic doesn't understand the pain they cause to their family, friends, and loved ones and this is my time to finally say what it feels like to lose someone to alcohol.

You know that feeling in your stomach when you know something terrible happens? When you start to shake because you're that upset? When you've cried too much over the same thing that tears don't even come anymore? Only focusing on that one thing all day and every time you laugh or smile you feel guilty for not being sad? Knowing to make time to calm down from being upset after calling? Knowing that your chosen second over alcohol? Feeling like there's nothing more you can say to make that person want to change? Those are just the emotions to start with when it comes to the ways an alcoholic makes someone feel.

I know what you're probably thinking, "It's not as bad as it seems. I'm only like that sometimes." which is not the case. Everyone knows of a family that has struggled to cope with a loved one who is an alcoholic. I never thought "alcoholism" was an actual disease until I saw it first hand. I thought it was easy to put down a drink and know your limits. Alcoholism is one of the worst diseases there is, especially when the person can't admit they have this disease. It's a disease that can change the best person, into the worst.

So next time you start to take that shot, or drink a glass that turns into a bottle, think about it. Think about all your family, friends, and loved ones that you'll hurt for the actions you'll make. People love you more than that bottle of alcohol does, and know that people are there to help you along the way. You yourself has to want to change, and that's the only way success of defeating alcoholism can happen.