There are so many times I catch myself trying to apologize for asking questions or making a suggestion. I cover my mouth when I laugh or try to be more modest. But then I started to think, “Why am I doing that? What’s the point? What am I sorry for?” Nothing. I was not sorry that I was expressing my ideas, or for trying to be helpful. I do not think that people, women in particular, need to apologize for asserting themselves in situations they otherwise would have been ignored in. When I tell people I have allergies to certain foods, I feel sorry because it makes it a little more inconvenient for the person preparing my food. But I should not be sorry. My allergies are not something that I can control and just turn off. By creating this mentality, I think that I have become a lot more self-aware and confident.
In certain contexts, apologizing could actually make someone's perception of you a little worse. Say, for example, you are tardy to a meeting. If the first thing you say is, “Sorry that I am late,” people might perceive your tardiness as a lack of priority. If instead you said, “Thank you for waiting,” it is much easier for others to move past your tardiness.
Our world is full of first impressions, and those are the ones that will always be remembered. If you give the impression that you are apologetic, it creates almost a lack of direction about you, as if you're hurrying from one thing to another. There could also be a lack of confidence that comes with this lack of direction.
It is also easy for you to look at yourself in a more positive light if you give yourself the chance. Do not make yourself feel guilty for doing things that are completely mundane. Everyone has bad days, and apologizing for them makes it worse on yourself. Turning that into positivity can be helpful in having a more fulfilling life.
Social modesty can also create an air of shyness and insecurity. Embracing yourself wholly can help you make others feel better. I am a huge believer in loving oneself before learning to love others. It takes courage and wall-breaking, but it can be done. It can be helpful in so many aspects of your life: your job, your love life, your mental health, and your life in general. The little things can really make a difference.
Try this approach: Go into situations where you might be at fault and try to word those faults as "thank you" statements. By turning them around, you are not only making the person you might be letting down feel better about whatever it is you have done, but it makes you look better and more gracious. It is easy to break at certain points, and it can be hard in the beginning, but by turning around and getting rid of the guilt, it becomes a lot easier to feel better about yourself.
